Hanki
(Gandhi)
How a man wearing nothing but a large, white handkerchief--dhoti--helped gain a country's Independence.
Oven Samurai
(Seven Samurai)
Out-of-work Samurai become pastry chefs and are adept at slicing bread and frosting cakes with their swords.
UPS
(Up)
"What can Brown do for you?"
That's the question.
Can it deliver a package to an old man, a boy scout, a dog, and a bird living in in a house high up in the sky?
And can they find enough helium-filled balloons to lift one of those big brown trucks?
Indiana Jones and the Last Custard
(Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
There is a pandemic in the world and people are hoarding milk and eggs. Custards, both the frozen and regular kind are a rarity and in danger of going extinct.
My Hair Lady
(Fair Lady)
Artist falls in love with his own painting of a woman with long hair, and she steps out of the painting.
This movie rips off a movie musical--My Fair Lady--that ripped off a play-- Pygmalion--by George Bernard Shaw, who ripped off an ancient Greek myth. That being said, the original movie musical is better than the play, which is probably better than the myth.
The African Queeg
(The African Queen)
Captain Queeg (Humphrey Bogart) left the Navy and the Caine and is now in Africa going down the river in his tiny steam boat with none other than Katharine Hepburn at the helm.
Queeg has another nervous breakdown, and Hepburn mutinies and takes command. One suspects she always wanted to be in control in the first place.
Jurassic Pork
(Jurassic Park)
This newer version of the movie has writing at least as bad as the original, but doesn't even try to hide the fact that it's out for money only. Art not only takes a backseat, it's not even a factor here. "Dinosaurs as the bad guys" is just a newer version of "cowboys and Indians" aimed at kids.
Fatman
(Batman)
Another of a long series of Batman movies. Because of his seclusion during the Corona virus outbreak, Batman gains an inordinate amount of weight. His costume no longer fits, he can't fit in the Batmobile, he can no longer swing on his silk lines, and Robin, disgusted with his weight gain, leaves him.
East of Eden's Expressway
(East of Eden)
Edens Expressway is Interstate 94, which runs south through Chicago. Therefore, east of Eden's Expressway is Lake Michigan itself where this story takes place. What secrets does Lake Michigan hold other than massive pollution from PCBs and a broken down food chain caused by the invasion of zebra mussels? What cheesy story-plot can be more important than the destruction of an enormous Lake?
Larry of Suburbia
(Lawrence of Arabia)
Why is Larry running around at night in a white robe? Is he planning on sabotaging railroads? Is he riding a camel in the desert of suburbia? We think not. He's wearing a pointy hat and mask and he's burning a cross. Why, he's no freedom-fighter at all. He's having a tea party.
Bambo
(Bambi) (Rambo)
Fawn grows up intent on avenging his mothers death by biped hunters. Unbelievable action! As unbelievable as in the original franchise, at any rate.
Kelvinator
(Terminator)
Kelvinator Refrigerator comes back from the future to warn everybody that it gets hot in the future, very hot.
Augusta: Osage Mountie
(August: Osage County)
Meryl Streep in a performance of the a lifetime, as the very first female RCMP. Serving in the small "town" of Osage in the southeastern area of Saskatchewan, her portrayal of Augusta (no last name given or needed), is truly impressive and riveting!
Bud Byrnes of The Saskatoon Squealer gives it 5 Moose Jaws!
Don't miss this motion picture masterpiece - see it today!
Robomorphs
(Robocop)
Regiment of rogue, robotic Energizer lagomorphs (rabbits) terrorize neighborhood. "They just keep running and running!"
Dances With Waves
(Dances With Wolves)
Harry, an American surfer on the lam, moves to Hawaii to compete in a surfboarding championship. But Javert is hot on his trail, that is, hot in his wake. Can Javert catch him or will he drown in an enormous wave?
Creditor
(Predator)
Exposé of quick-loan companies and how they are able to realize enormous interest rates on a loan based on your car title collateral.
Star Trek: First Contacts (lenses)
(Star Trek: First Contact)
Jim Kirk buys contact lenses and realizes for the first time that his great beauty matches his outstanding personality. Mr Spock is so disgusted that he loses his temper and breaks his persona forever. Shatner doesn't care that old pointy-ears leaves because he thinks he can run the shjp by himself.
Rockingman
(Rocketman)
Retired astronaut develops a flying phobia. Part of his therapy consists of a step-by-step advancement of tasks to end the phobia. The first step is rocking in a chair. If he can rock for one hour without getting sick, then he advances to a swinging chair.
The Thang
(The Thing)
Research station in the deep south is plagued by a terrifying creature.
Little He-men
(Little Women)
Four brothers are living with their emotionally distant father while their mother is off at war. The brothers don't like each other at all and are constantly competing for their father's approval by weightlifting, bodybuilding and looking at themselves in the mirror.
