Train Man
(Rain Man)
Man with savant syndrome won't leave train until he counts all the ties. He's almost finishes but loses count when he hiccups and has to start all over again.
It's an anti-climatic movie, to say the least.
Cocky
(Rocky)
An aspiring championship boxer spars with beef forequarters to get in shape for the championship bout.
He adopts a new style of fighting, essentially wearing out his opponent by repeatedly bashing his face against their fists. He loses the fight but wins the hearts of millions and is well on his way to Chronic traumatic encephalopathy.
Star Trick:
(Star Trek)
William Shatner's Ham & Cheese Show. Science fiction TV show with a hammy actor and cheesy special effects and sets.
Plastic vomit attacks Spock and almost kills him.
Par and Peace
(War and Peace)
Story of an amateur golfer's lifelong failure to get near par on a golf course despite buying all the best advertised equipment. Finally, he gets somebody to take a video of his swing on his cell phone and realizes he has a lousy swing. Now he is able to change his swing, has some improvement , and achieves peace of mind.
Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them
(Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)
It was nominated for two Academy Awards and won for Best Costume Design, or a lack thereof.
Although there was little plot in this movie, many critics applauded it for its titillating experience.
On the Waferfront
(On the Waterfront)
Competitive design strategies in the world of cookie designs. Was the design of the Oreo cookie was inspired by a manhole cover. Which came first the Oreo cookie or the manhole cover?
Best Side Story
(West Side Story)
2 hour documentary about Mel Gibson looking in the mirror and trying to decide which is his best side. In the end, he decides that it's a tie, and all sides are equally beautiful.
I'm a Deus
(Amadeus)
A man who loves the music of Mozart becomes dictator of a country and declares himself a god.
Lord of the Kings
(Lord of the Rings)
The rise and fall of one the greatest demagogues and sociopaths the Republican party has ever seen.
Pigi
(Gigi)
How a famous extremist, right-wing radio personality won a Medal of Freedom by overindulging in food, Oxycontin, Hydrocodone, and extremist rhetoric.
@coluber2001,
Saturday (N)Fight Fever
Sylvester Stallone appears in Rocky sequel number 4,000 as a toothless hairless toothpick lacking any muscle mass ex-fighter who decides he wants one more right and goes up against Chan Sung Jung, The Korean Zombie.
Naturally, Stallone/Rocky wins.
A Man For All Seasonings
(A Man For All Seasons)
Jacques Pépin goes for the record of frying fifty French feta frittatas in fifty minutes while describing his unique technique in his charming French accent with his daughter, Claudine and granddaughter, Shorey.
True Brit
(True Grit)
Dudley Moore plays Rooster Cogburn who is hired by a girl to track down the killer of her pet chicken. Filmed on location in the wilds of western England.
The Best Bears of Our Lives
(The Best Years of Our Lives) (1946)
In their retirement years, Grizzly Adams and Ben reminisce about their big, furry friends.
The Stang
(The Sting)
50s actor Arnold Stang takes up bodybuilding and becomes a famous action movie star, science fiction killer-android-from-the-future turned good guy-android-from-the-future, and then dabbles in politics.
Wait! I may be confusing Arnolds here.
@coluber2001,
extra points for remembering Arnold Stang
High Moon
(High Noon)
The killers are coming to town to get revenge on Sheriff Gary Cooper. But it's the full moon, and Gary Cooper is not only the sheriff, he's a werewolf, a slow-talking werewolf.
Cowboys and Allens and Alans
(Cowboys and Aliens)
Western epic directed by Woody Allen and starring Steve Allen, Tim Allen, Karen Allen, Alan Arkin, Alan Rickman, Alan Alda, Alan Cumming, the Van Allen Radiation Belt, and philosophical commentary by Alan Watts. Unfortunately, with all the star actors this projected blockbuster went bankrupt before it went into production, not to mention that some of them are dead, and one is not even a person.
