Gala
That's a good way of looking at it. I'll remember that.
Cav
I could see how inviting a girl to a dinner at your place would be intimidating.
I was completely turned off by the dating scene years ago whenI had a few dates that took me out to dinner and at the end of the night expected something in return. One guy actually had the nerve to say " I paid a lot of money for that dinner and drinks and your gonna bail out on me". What a loser!
Slappy, I got asked out to dinner by this guy ( this was a while ago) who I had reservations about. so I talked to my sister about it and she said, "hey, why not, it's a free dinner." So I went. Man, I was right about the guy, he was just a real tool, and in order to keep myself from feeling like a total s***head, I insisted on paying for my part of the dinner.
To be blunt about it, having some guy (especially the one I dont want to be a boyfriend) that I don't know pay for me usually means they are expecting a little something by the end of the date, and I'll be damned if I'm going to have to suck up and , at the very least, kiss some jamoke I find unappealing. Hell, I never even liked having the jamoke want to escort me to my car.
I forgot about this part, but I would always agree to meet the guy at the restaurant, that way I wouldn't have to beholden to him for giving me a ride home...
cavfancier, I know what you mean about safety. There are alot of nut bags out there. It's always in a crowded place. That's the reason why when I would go out to dinner with someone I didn't know that I would not let them pick me up, rather, I would drive on my own.
also cav, I know what you mean that men are equally as nervous on a first date. That's the whole mystery of it, if you end up being interested in the person then the nervousness is endearing.
Gala
Great ideas. I like the one where you meet the guy at where ever and you drive home yourself. That way you don't end up in uncomfortable positions like I was. Even if I like the guy I like to take things slow because it makes the relationship end up being much more meaningful. If the guy really likes you, he'll be respectful.
Even if the chick sucks, I'll pay the tab...I don't like splitting bills on dates. One person pays.
As far as expecting something...wait, you mean there are girls that DON'T put out after a date?
Should have said you were a girl, Gala. We could have done lunch when you were in New Mexico last summer.
roger, you are funny. you knew i was a girl? you know, at the time when i was posting that first question to Abuzz about traveling to NM i thought, geez, it would be kind of cool to make a pit stop and visit this akaroger guy. but, i think it would have been lunacy on the other hand. why put either of ourselves on the line when a perfectly decent Internet interaction is often enough. i was just appreciative that you were so helpful and receptive to my question. around that time, my first post, even Zinger hadn't gone over the deep end...
Gala - I've been making 'minidates' with the guys I meet online. As a rule I set an hour or less as a time limit and go for coffee. Occasionally I was talked into dinner or a drink. I NEVER expect a guy to pay for dinner on a first date and will insist on splitting the tab. I won't argue about it, but I'll be pretty pushy about it. I dated one rich guy who was very generous, but he wanted a return I wasn't comfy with. If it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen.
littlek, those hour long numbers really spare you if the guy is a no-go. Also, it gives you a little something to look forward to, but if it doesn't work out then it's only marginally disappointing.
Both you and Gezzy are so cute, I imagine the difficulty for the both of you is finding someone that YOU connect with.
I figure, I can do just about anything for an hour. Connecting with people? Are you saying I'm picky? I am. It's true. But, not in that I want a guy who's rich and handsome. I want someone who will understand me and who I can respect back.
littlek, I'm not saying you are picky in regard to the guy having to be loaded with dough and stud-like. Au contraire. When I say someone you will connect with I mean exactly what you have said " ...someone who will understand me and who I can respect back."
Picky is good.
it is good or I'd have abandoned it.
Screw it. Imma' git me a sugar momma.
Good idea, see if she comes with a sugar daddy for me.
Maybe she'll have an ex-hubby for you living off alimony.
Let you know soon as I make the catch.
You know what? Friend of mine(girl) had a sugar daddy for a while, she was in her early twenties, he was 40-something. They broke up, but then he went bankrupt, so he's no good...only other rich guys I know are married.
I've become very picky as well since I've seen what a waste of time it was not being that picky. I have to admit that I can be a bit shallow in my choices because the first thing I look for in a man is his looks. I know it sounds bad, but I can't seem to fall for someone who I'm not physically attracted too. I really wish I wasn't like this :-(
Slappy - I was jess kidding. I don't really want a rich guy. Actually dated a rich guy and it kinda made me nervous.
Gezzy, Don't wish you weren't like that, it's a waste of time.
So do a lot of great guys gezzy.
Ok, so I'm shallow and I'll just have to accept it :-D
