"SLUT" Well that is pretty rough but I have called the woman that is breaking up my 20 year marriage a few things. It is not for me or anyone else to judge anyone. All we can do is live our own lives.Do I think this is wrong absolutely. I could never live with myself if I broke up a family. Wheather that family is good or bad makes no difference. It is WRONG. Even thinking about breaking up a family makes me want to puke. I have put 24 years into my husband and now may be getting a divorce. I am at the point where I have decided to fight like H*** for my family. It is not up to him to choose as is the case with this woman. Not to be mean but what you are showing your children is sickening too. No wondered the world is what it is. Man and woman breaking up homes. THat is mindblowing because the " other woman" will have it done to her at some point. Even though I would never wished this pain on anyone, the " other woman" ask for it.
let me explain,in my country if a woman ,wife cheats on the husband,the man has a right to punish the woman,i have been married several times and all of my wives cheated . the first one i had all of her hair removed,and i paraded her up and down the market place,the second one i had her put in prison and she still is there after 10 years.the third one i had her body tattooed from forehead to her feet saying i am a cheater and a bad woman.now i am married to a good woman who does not cheat,so i warn all of you women to stop your cheating,i don't like your post because not only do you tell all that you are a cheater but you brag about it that would be a death punishment.and those who defend her in the posts must realize that cheating is a sure way to hell,and i am the son of a religious clergyman that gives me a special power of prayer to allah who is also your god,i can either save you or send you to the burning place of hell,do not anger me,change your evil ways and repent,and i shall save you.
LoveMyFamily wrote:It was a forced marriage (yeah right as if one can do that to you) and he would get a divorce soon. But he had all the papers for applying for his wife's green card.
unhappyone wrote:You are right..no one is "FORCED" to marry....and what you said abt the sex, really hit me.
As a person from a culture that used to practice forced (arranged marriages is usually the better term) marriages and from a country that still has such practices (however rare) I wish to correct the above statements. I can understand some of the people on a2K's confusion and doubt over arranged marriages - even I detest such practice and consider myself lucky my family is open minded enough to not force me into such marriage.
But in some very traditional and conservative cultures, arranged marriages can indeed be forced by death to the subject or what some cultures call "face losing" which can be worse than death. Face with such circumstances, the subject usually have no option but to follow their families wishes and enter the marriage - thus making it forced by nature.
I do not understand what the circumstances are for you personally. I merely wish to point out that marriages can indeed be "forced" in some particular cultures.
yuletide26 wrote:let me explain,in my country if a woman ,wife cheats on the husband,the man has a right to punish the woman,i have been married several times and all of my wives cheated . the first one i had all of her hair removed,and i paraded her up and down the market place,the second one i had her put in prison and she still is there after 10 years.the third one i had her body tattooed from forehead to her feet saying i am a cheater and a bad woman.now i am married to a good woman who does not cheat,so i warn all of you women to stop your cheating,i don't like your post because not only do you tell all that you are a cheater but you brag about it that would be a death punishment.and those who defend her in the posts must realize that cheating is a sure way to hell,and i am the son of a religious clergyman that gives me a special power of prayer to allah who is also your god,i can either save you or send you to the burning place of hell,do not anger me,change your evil ways and repent,and i shall save you.
yuletide26, what do you do when the husband cheates? Can the wife have multiple husbands and do the same to her cheating husbands as you have done to your ex-wives?
yuletide26 wrote:let me explain,in my country if a woman ,wife cheats on the husband,the man has a right to punish the woman,i have been married several times and all of my wives cheated . the first one i had all of her hair removed,and i paraded her up and down the market place,the second one i had her put in prison and she still is there after 10 years.the third one i had her body tattooed from forehead to her feet saying i am a cheater and a bad woman.now i am married to a good woman who does not cheat,so i warn all of you women to stop your cheating,i don't like your post because not only do you tell all that you are a cheater but you brag about it that would be a death punishment.and those who defend her in the posts must realize that cheating is a sure way to hell,and i am the son of a religious clergyman that gives me a special power of prayer to allah who is also your god,i can either save you or send you to the burning place of hell,do not anger me,change your evil ways and repent,and i shall save you.
dude i hope that your not in america its people like you who kill innocint people for a silly reason stupidity.
so far the only power he has shown is the power to be a coward and humiliate his own wifes, if all the wifes have cheated on him that should tell you he has the power of beign a jerk.
Quote:dude i hope that your not in america its people like you who kill innocint people for a silly reason stupidity.
DO not commit murder over anyone PERIOD. Ohe other hand please do not say it is a silly reason. People have kiiled their self over affairs. I have a friend that turned to alchohol. It has a major effect on everyone concern but mostly the wife or husband that has been violated.Maybe if there was a punishment then maybe people would be lesss likely to infringe on someone else'e family. Do" minimize the wife and childrens feeling.
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 4 years now. We have a 2 year old child. My point is his wife knows everything and she chooses to stay with him. Her feelings are she doesn't want him to bring our child around her children. Sometimes we don't always know what the husband and wife have worked out between the two. The truth is not always known. We are in love now more than ever. We have worked out our relationship to our advantage.
dec66 wrote:Quote:dude i hope that your not in america its people like you who kill innocent people for a silly reason stupidity.
DO not commit murder over anyone PERIOD. Ohe other hand please do not say it is a silly reason. People have kiiled their self over affairs. I have a friend that turned to alchohol. It has a major effect on everyone concern but mostly the wife or husband that has been violated.Maybe if there was a punishment then maybe people would be lesss likely to infringe on someone else'e family. Do" minimize the wife and childrens feeling.
there a females out there that are terrible people. that is true the leagle system is suppose to deal with people like that and females...cheating is cheating one shouldnt be stoned for that, that person should be judged by their husband or wife as to weather to continue the marrage or relationship, not stoned and beat and so forth, one should go about their business with out the cheater if not seek councling. your way is a crime to nature and a crime ingeneral.
dec66, I am sorry for your pain truly, but it sounds like all your anger is toward the women who you claim broke up your marriage. Actually your husband had the commitment not the women. Sure women should stay away from married men, but just wait until you get out there and see the way these men can manipulate you to believing they are so mistreated at home and if you are at all vulnerable you will fall for all their lines. Look again at your situation and re-direct your anger at the man that was suppose to be committed to you. I get really tired of the single person always being blamed for adultery when the one married is the one making all the moves. Do you honestly believe that the other person is the one who put all these thoughts in the married person head. I have been single for 7 years and have had many married men hitting on me, I did not fall for it except recently (he was already moved out and filed) but all the others believe me were the aggressors. I have been accused of so much in my town and have been innocent of these terrible rumors. I am sorry but I blame the person that has the commitment. People with marital problems or getting divorced never want to take responsiblity themselves which prolongs the hurt, face up to your wrong doing in the relationship and move on.
Also most affairs happen when there is something wrong in the marriage unless its just someone that can not control urges. Sorry to be so harsh, I am sure its all very hard and I do feel bad for your pain. Just realize you deserve to have the best in your life also and if it is a man who is going to cheat whether it be 2 years or 24 years, you deserve to have loyalty in your life.
There is always something wrong in a marriage.
People stick with it or don't, for many complicated reasons.
Some are rewarded with continuing growing love from the tending of it.
Sometimes a spouse meets what must seem a new ray of light in what is a daily quagmire, and goes after it, like a moth.
Sometimes it is the single person who is zeroing in without regard to the process of married life, how they are interrupting and disrupting, out of their own need.
Sometimes it is the spouse, out of need.
Sometimes it is the spouse, out of greed.
There isn't any one fits all thing about affairs.
Many plays and novels and movie scripts and poems have been written about these matters.
it is still WRONG no matter what
trfirst wrote:dec66, I am sorry for your pain truly, but it sounds like all your anger is toward the women who you claim broke up your marriage. Actually your husband had the commitment not the women. Sure women should stay away from married men, but just wait until you get out there and see the way these men can manipulate you to believing they are so mistreated at home and if you are at all vulnerable you will fall for all their lines. Look again at your situation and re-direct your anger at the man that was suppose to be committed to you. I get really tired of the single person always being blamed for adultery when the one married is the one making all the moves. Do you honestly believe that the other person is the one who put all these thoughts in the married person head. I have been single for 7 years and have had many married men hitting on me, I did not fall for it except recently (he was already moved out and filed) but all the others believe me were the aggressors. I have been accused of so much in my town and have been innocent of these terrible rumors. I am sorry but I blame the person that has the commitment. People with marital problems or getting divorced never want to take responsiblity themselves which prolongs the hurt, face up to your wrong doing in the relationship and move on.
Also most affairs happen when there is something wrong in the marriage unless its just someone that can not control urges. Sorry to be so harsh, I am sure its all very hard and I do feel bad for your pain. Just realize you deserve to have the best in your life also and if it is a man who is going to cheat whether it be 2 years or 24 years, you deserve to have loyalty in your life.
trfirst "Actually your husband had the commitment not the women. Sure women should stay away from married men, but just wait until you get out there and see the way these men can manipulate you to believing they are so mistreated at home and if you are at all vulnerable you will fall for all their lines. Look again at your situation and re-direct your anger at the man that was suppose to be committed to you"
I totally understand what you are saying. i have by no means let him of the hook but In my situation, I have found a few things out just a the other woman checking our bank accounts and some pretty devious things. I have know doubt that My husband was willing paraticipate. He knew how bad I would hurt . I am not for sure that all affairs come from problem from teh marriage or maybe just form issues from that cheater. All I know that I could actually put this paarticualr woman in jail for the things that she has done. I know for a fact that he was teeling her all kinds of things also. i excuse neither one of them. She has done things to my kids also. This has happen to me before and yes they said things to me but I have never been violated like this.She has went passed the mark by calling my husband at our home and asking him out when she knew he was married. We are not the first ammriage for her to try to break up. As of today we are staying together. If that is our decision then she needs to repect that and back off. She has cheated several times on him also. and he has cheated on her with me and other women. he has some issue from his childhood that he has never dealt with and I believe that this may be casuing him to try to find something to fill a voind in himself. Believe it or not he is a good person at heart. He would give me and my chidlren anything we want. He says that he does not know how to stop. maybe that is true maybe not. Have not figured that our yet. We have both figured out that also that she has told some major lies on me and to him. I have never been with anyone else in my life but according to her, I am having an affair with some one that I do not even know his name. Well I have went on lon enough. Pleas knwow that I am fully aware that he is no saint. I hav etold everyone that I will take responsibilty for anything that went on in the marriage but everyone including me thought we wer great. I will NEVER take on any part of his decion to go outside our marriage to try to fix something.He has told me a few things that bothered him and i tole him i wished he would have just talked to me.
dec66 wrote:trfirst wrote:dec66, I am sorry for your pain truly, but it sounds like all your anger is toward the women who you claim broke up your marriage. Actually your husband had the commitment not the women. Sure women should stay away from married men, but just wait until you get out there and see the way these men can manipulate you to believing they are so mistreated at home and if you are at all vulnerable you will fall for all their lines. Look again at your situation and re-direct your anger at the man that was suppose to be committed to you. I get really tired of the single person always being blamed for adultery when the one married is the one making all the moves. Do you honestly believe that the other person is the one who put all these thoughts in the married person head. I have been single for 7 years and have had many married men hitting on me, I did not fall for it except recently (he was already moved out and filed) but all the others believe me were the aggressors. I have been accused of so much in my town and have been innocent of these terrible rumors. I am sorry but I blame the person that has the commitment. People with marital problems or getting divorced never want to take responsiblity themselves which prolongs the hurt, face up to your wrong doing in the relationship and move on.
Also most affairs happen when there is something wrong in the marriage unless its just someone that can not control urges. Sorry to be so harsh, I am sure its all very hard and I do feel bad for your pain. Just realize you deserve to have the best in your life also and if it is a man who is going to cheat whether it be 2 years or 24 years, you deserve to have loyalty in your life.
trfirst "Actually your husband had the commitment not the women. Sure women should stay away from married men, but just wait until you get out there and see the way these men can manipulate you to believing they are so mistreated at home and if you are at all vulnerable you will fall for all their lines. Look again at your situation and re-direct your anger at the man that was suppose to be committed to you"
I totally understand what you are saying. i have by no means let him of the hook but In my situation, I have found a few things out just a the other woman checking our bank accounts and some pretty devious things. I have know doubt that My husband was willing paraticipate. He knew how bad I would hurt . I am not for sure that all affairs come from problem from teh marriage or maybe just form issues from that cheater. All I know that I could actually put this paarticualr woman in jail for the things that she has done. I know for a fact that he was teeling her all kinds of things also. i excuse neither one of them. She has done things to my kids also. This has happen to me before and yes they said things to me but I have never been violated like this.She has went passed the mark by calling my husband at our home and asking him out when she knew he was married. We are not the first ammriage for her to try to break up. As of today we are staying together. If that is our decision then she needs to repect that and back off. She has cheated several times on him also. and he has cheated on her with me and other women. he has some issue from his childhood that he has never dealt with and I believe that this may be casuing him to try to find something to fill a voind in himself. Believe it or not he is a good person at heart. He would give me and my chidlren anything we want. He says that he does not know how to stop. maybe that is true maybe not. Have not figured that our yet. We have both figured out that also that she has told some major lies on me and to him. I have never been with anyone else in my life but according to her, I am having an affair with some one that I do not even know his name. Well I have went on lon enough. Pleas knwow that I am fully aware that he is no saint. I hav etold everyone that I will take responsibilty for anything that went on in the marriage but everyone including me thought we wer great. I will NEVER take on any part of his decion to go outside our marriage to try to fix something.He has told me a few things that bothered him and i tole him i wished he would have just talked to me.
men can manipulate you to believing "
THis makes women sound like we are stupid, Putting this message out there only tends to increase the mans thougth that he can do that ( manipulation) yes men can be manipulating but so can women
Well, I may have spoken before I should have with you not knowing the whole story. I realize there are some evil women along with men out there, believe me I have seen so much in seven years of being single. I agree if he wants to work this marriage out with you than she needs to back away. I have recently been through some things that make me judgemental myself (which I hate being). I don't think by making a statement of being able to be manipulated is stating we are stupid, that has nothing to do with manipulation. That can happen when you are so down on your self and vulnerable and someone says all the things you want to hear. This has happened to me and I am not a stupid women, just got caught up in hearing what I felt and thought to be true out of someone I cared about. Good luck to you in your marriage, but be happy with yourself what ever decisions you make don't let anyone stomp on you as a person not even your husband.
dec66 wrote:"SLUT" Well that is pretty rough but I have called the woman that is breaking up my 20 year marriage a few things.
Your husband is far more guilty in that than the woman.
dec66--
It takes two to tango.
Or is your husband a weak, henpecked man, incapable of making decisions for himself?
Bella Dea -Your husband is far more guilty in that than the woman.
If you read back through the forum, you will see that I was telling another person that slut was a little rough. Yes my husband is not to much for doing this to his family. i have made that know to him and everyone but that is no excuse to call someone home over and over again and saying things to our children. If we are together then she needs to back off. I am not for sure what you call people like that. As far as I am concern , my husband is lower than a snake's belly. However I do have children with this man and they love him very much so I do watch what I say around them. THey are my priority. i have had this woman sit in front of our house in our driveway , chase me down the road and numerous other things. I easily could put this woman in jail but right now choose not to because they would put my childrens emotional and mental health on the line. THey have already suffered enough.
Noddy24---It takes two to tango
I am there with you on that too. They ar3 both to blame for the mess that our lives are in right now. I think that I am thinking from a woman's point of view. How could you hurt a child and know that you are having a bad effect on them? I would never ever hurt this woman's children. I see her children all the time and would never say anything to them. her children are not being hurt at all her family was already broke up due to her cheating and then she cheating on the next one too. She walked out on her children when they were babies so I do not know how close they really are. It really does not matter because I would never do anything to them. She however does not feel this way. She walked out on her children long before we entered the picture. My kids, however, are loosing their father and their family. It has been tore completely apart by this woman. we can not even tried to repair because she will not leave my family alone.
Or is your husband a weak, henpecked man, incapable of making decisions for himself? --If if was henpecked, then how would have he have gotten by with this. i do not monitor his move or anything he does. I do not want to control him. I want a man to do things for me because he wants to not because I tell him. YO can read back through the forum to see my comments on the man's part in this . The forum was about someone else and I did point out to this lady that the married men do lie to them just like they lie to the wife. Anything that he tells her is probably a lie. I am just trying to do what is best for everyone in my situation especially my children. My children, me and my husband is the most important thing here. My family was attack and I will defend them. In order to defend them, sometimes you have to teach them a lesson( husband). We will just have to wait and see what happens.
Final -- They BOTH share the responsibility for breaking up our family. How is the world to women in this day and age expect to find love and honesty if we as a unit go around tearing up homes. Someone earlier mentioned that I have no idea how these cheating husband talked and manipulated these women. While this is true, I will not say that there are not men that can be manipulated also.
to move on or not
it was fortunate that i stumbled upon this site. It relates to a similar situation that i was or am going through. I was working a summer job this pass summer and i met a guy at my job who was married a month before i met him, but i didn't know. He is 12 yrs older than i am(im 18) and he has a wife and a kid from another marriage. He was constantly hitting on me and he was always arranging places for us to go. Then later on i found out and it was already too late. I was attached and i decided to let him go and stop calling and returning his calls. Now we haven't talked in a while and he keeps running through my mind. I am wondering if anyone can give me suggestions to forget about him.
Dolly, making the decision to forget about him is huge in moving on. Realizing that there is no future with this guy is a big part of getting him out of your life. Just keep moving, don't look back. Your decision might have been hard but it was the right one.
