Fun things to do with an erect penis.

Oh Lord Ellpus, that was brillant. That woke me up, a good joke is more stimulating than coffee!

Pip-Pip, keep it UP!

I've just received another usage for the old Plonker, care of Egbert (Lucy). Apparently he and his "well groomed" chums do this on a regular basis.
First of all, you need at least two "Morning Glories" for this, so if you are thinking of re-enacting the idea, you had better invite a pal over who is very understanding.
You will need the necessary dolls outfits, a working Phonograph, and the relevant piece of music.
Secondly, you must do all the necessary things to achieve the required state of excitement.
Thirdly, you then undress the male and female Ballerina dolls, and dress the thumpers accordingly.
Fourthly, you put on the relevant Tchaikovsky track of the L.P.
You are then in a position to re-enact the entire "Nutcracker Suite".

Note:- Another piece that apparently goes down well at his "Pink Hippo" Club, is the "Sugar Plum Fairy" but that also requires some icing Sugar.

On a technical note.....can anyone explain how to post pictures onto this forum? I have quite a few that I would like to display (relatives, favourite goat, that sort of thing) and they are all stored on my computer.
Normally when one sends a picture, there is a "browse" facility, but this board does not seem to have one.
Ideas anyone?
Ellpy.

You need to upload the pictures to a hosting site on the net first. Then, link to them like this:

[img] http:// url . jpg [/img]

except without the spaces and using a valid URL. You can always just Google search for similar pictures and then post those as above (right click on pics to see "properties").

Anybody up for a game of ring toss?

I have decided to try to help you, Ellpus, because I am very interested to see those goat pictures.

You have to upload your pictures to someplace on the net and then link to them.

This link is where a lot of people on A2K post pics.

http://groups.msn.com/theravensrealm/pictures

Use the above link to go to the Raven's Realm. Start a new album. Follow the instructions they have and upload your pic from your computer. Once you have your picture up, right click on it, hit "properties" and then copy the information from there. If you are on a Mac, this last step is slightly different. Let me know if you are and I'll walk you through it.

Now, come back to A2K and start posting a message. Hit the "preview" button. In the preview window of A2K, there is a button for images. Click it. Paste the information that you copied earlier.

And there you have it. Let me know if you have any problems, and I'll be glad to "ellp" you out.

Oh crap, cjhsa beat me to it.

Nah kicky ya done good.

Top notch kicky and cjhsa, I'll get "Sticky" Grobbler to look at that in the morning.
He's our high tech member and loses everyone with his jargon.
Apparently, he's just "graded up" to a "Big Mac" whatever that all means, but he says he's pretty good with windows, although I've never seen him with a bucket and cloth.
Stand by for transmission.
Thanks awfully
Ellpus.

<trying to think of something not fun to do with an erect penis>

Wayne Bobbit's ex might help out with that problem.

Was it erect when she was having fun with it?

Or - she didn't think the fun others were having with it were fun? Cuz that still counts as fun - just not for her.

Panzade used to lift weights.

I've always liked and admired and appreciated Panzade.
Never more than during his stint as a weightlifter.

I tried that once at the gym. The staff wasn't too happy about it...

Hello chaps, I'm back. I thought I'd hide out for a while, as I've just been over to Eva's wine cellar and smashed the place up a bit. Hope she's not too mad, as it was totally unintentional.
I do hope that Gustav never finds his way down there with that rake, as there would be absolute chaos. I smashed a Rodin , and was totally unarmed. Just imagine what Mr R. could do.
Ellpus.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

so, now that the spring is around the corner, can i get one of you chaps into my backyard to help me pot and plant things? thanks, much appreciated.

Is that the wine talking, Dag? Or is there some connection between gardening and erect penises that I'm not getting?