Unfortunately, I do not own an errect penis. Or a flaccid one, for that matter. I wish I did, for I am told that I am quite a good medium when it comes to matters of hypnosis, telepathy, communication with the other worlds and such. I would find such a device particularly handy, an antenna of communication with perhaps extraterrestrial civilizations, with ghosts of those long gone, with spirits on the loose... I am wondering, has anyone had a communication experience of the sort?
Uh, Dag...been hitting the absinthe today?
Let her go, Slappy. She's on a roll.
Not yet, Slappy. Perhaps that is the problem?
Dag, my erect penis is sending you a message right now...can you tell us what it's saying?
kickycan wrote:Dag, my erect penis is sending you a message right now...can you tell us what it's saying?
"You'll have to excuse the discharge."
Umm, Kicky, see that is the problem - I don't have an identical receiver to decode your message. I bet Slappy is reading it OK though!!!
kickycan wrote:Dag, my erect penis is sending you a message right now...can you tell us what it's saying?
I can help you out there, kicky. I can hear your penis' screams. It is saying, "SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE. I WANT TO RETURN TO THE MATCHBOOK AND LIVE OUT MY DAYS WITH MY FELLOW STICK MATCHES BUT SOMEONE HAS STUCK ME BETWEEN THE LEGS OF THIS CRAZY ITALIAN DUDE. OH GOD! HELP!!!!!!!"
See I knew penises will be handy in telepathy. Aren't you glad, Kicky, that Gus is such a skilled medium?
I can hear Slappy's penis now. What is it saying? The transmission is scrambled. Wait..... I can hear it now.
It is saying. '"Get your hands of me you bastard! You're killing me! You're choking me to death! Why? Every friggin day you do this crap to me! I want to die."
Close Gus...7 times a day.
Omg........you guys really DO sit around and play with your penis all day.
I'm gonna have a phobia now. Everytime I go to the mall or any public place and grab ahold of the door to open it - I'll wonder who touched that knob before me.
I'm afraid to go to bed now - for fear of dreaming of playing checkers with Gus's penis all night.
If I were a man I would play with myself quite a bit too.
The ease of it would be too much for me
That's right, shewolfnm...any form of public transportation, outside schoolyards, nursing homes.
Good times!
Is the plural of penis penii?
When hitch-hiking, instead of a proffered thumb, you might want to wave Perky Percy at the passing cars. The reactions of some of the drivers can be surprising, or so my friend told me.
(Gus may have to use a photo-enlargement for this, so that the drivers can see what he's waving)
The plural of penis is 'men'.
How can a vagina ever look pretty!!or a penis for that matter.
Why are we bothering with face creams and make up when its our fannys(fanny means ladies front bottom in the UK) which are being judged??!!!
A judging eh? I'll get my diary.................
...........meanwhile, looking at the other side of the florin, men have had their manhood "Judged" since the dawn of creation.....size, girth, shape, what is that wierd knobbly bit half way down the side and slightly to the left, that sort of thing.
One of my previous acquaintances, halfway through the abominable act, once said "If you dont mind me saying Spanky, you have an awfully small organ".
To which I replied "Well, I'm not used to playing it in a Cathedral".
I never saw her again. Still mystified.
Thats an absolute classic!!!
