Need your valuable advice guys!!!

Setting everythng aside - here is my take on how I expect my marriage to be.

I believe in doing everything within your power to make each other happy. I would do alot of the things, Ron, that you "call" a womans job. But I would do these things because I wanted to do them. Not because it was demanded of me.

If my man came home tired and wanted to sit for a spell or do whatever - I would not hold that against him. And I would even take a beer into him. Sit on his lap. Give him some soft kisses and lots of hugs and soothe him.

I would play with the kids - help them with their homework - make a nice meal for everyone. Because I WANTED to do those things.

MY MAN would understand that I work hard also to help our family have a good home that provides them with comfort. He would also understand that I get tired too. He would cook the meals at times - or better yet, we would cook together. That would not only serve to lessen my load - it would also give him and I time to spend together. Even if we are cooking. The same goes for cleaning up afterwards.

He would give me time in the evenings to have a little space for myself - because he WANTED to. Not because I demand it. He would do it because he does not want me to work myself into the ground. Because he loves me and he knows that if I am not totally run ragged at the end of the day - he benefits, also.

Cause when the kids are in bed - it becomes OUR time. And our soft warm bodies against each other - with energy left at the end of the day - is worth whatever compromises we both need to make.

That's what love is about, Ron. Making each other happy. Sharing in the responsibilities. Being a two person team.

When love is that way - you marvel at the things you do for each other. It gives you joy.

GOOD ONE!

I totally agree on that. Now, I am thinking that I expressed my beliefs wrong because of stupid langauge differences.

Oh my god, these women are turning you into a pansy, Ron! Don't listen to them!

Marriage is not about all that crap that Brooke just wrote about. It's about the woman making me sandwiches and doing what I tell her to do without any goddam questions!

Damn women!

Do you want me to pull my pants down now or later, Kicky? - so you can kiss my ass.

I really do respect her stance. So nice and so Feminine.

Thank-You

Kicky?

But I would do these things because I wanted to do them. Not because it was demanded of me.

If my man came home tired and wanted to sit for a spell or do whatever - I would not hold that against him. And I would even take a beer into him. Sit on his lap. Give him some soft kisses and lots of hugs and soothe him.

I would play with the kids - help them with their homework - make a nice meal for everyone. Because I WANTED to do those things.


BUt, Listen to yourself brooke

"BEcause u wanna do, not because u r demanded"

Women have this feeeling, and this feelings are installed in her head naturally: to cook, to play with children etc

No.

the reason I brought this issue up is because woman in new age are losing this feelings.
Soon. when u lose this natural feelings, u r gonna be saying u don't wanna do it, and u r not demanded. therefore, you will not be doing it.

That's right, Ron. I would do them out of love for my husband and my children. NOT because it is demanded. Being a woman should not mean that I am saddled with all of the work around the house when I am working outside the home. A man should have love enough and respect for his lady - that he would never turn her into his slave.

You work together - you will grow together. You disrespect each other and demand much more out of your partner than you are willing to give - you quickly grow apart.

Many biologists and evolutionary theorists argue that cooking is not a natural desire at all, since we only cook our food to simulate the act of eating warm meat from a fresh kill. But perhaps I'm getting too off-topic.

Demand anything of your partner, and you will soon find yourself partnerless.

Perhaps u do know why traditional way of family is not valid anymore in our present time.
I would say because of development and complexity of developed societies. woman left with no choice but to bring this issue up, right?
Just like Witch stated before on this thread, in third world countries where the development is low, this issue is not big deal.

I would say that I have a natural love of children. Therefore I love playing with them and interacting with them. Cooking - well that's a whole other story. :wink: I do like to cook sometimes - but it's not what I wanna do when I come home tired. Not alone, anyways.

To say that it is a womans JOB to take care of the home and the children just does not hold much ground. As someone else pointed out on this thread, Ron - if the man is working long hours - and the woman is not working outside the home - then yes, she should take on more of the resposibility of household chores.

Otherwise - it's a team effort. Two people working together to do what needs to be done. After all - it was those same two people that were out working all day - doing what they needed to do in order to pay the bills.

Well - that's why I say that expecting a woman to do the chores because it is HER JOB to do so - is not valid these days. MOST households need that second income.

So surely you don't think it would be fair for a woman to share in the earnings that come in - and the husband NOT share in the chores?

Yes, I am single and I happen to enjoy doing these things. I'm good at them and take pride in the things I do. In fact, I would prefer doing these things over cleaning any day. I'll tell you what, why don't you come over and clean my house while I do "the manly stuff that I enjoy doing" and we'll be even.

disregard this reply

OKay brooke! Let's imagine for a second that I am your husband. I wil pay all the bills; I will earn enough money (enough) to pay for our necessity; I will raise our children together because I believe this is the duty of both party. I will fix and maintain everything which requires man to do.
However, I will want u to cook the meals and clean the house. that's all I want from u. And of course, I will demand some honesty and true respect, and most importantly love.
How would u respond to it?