Separation Anxiety

Reply Wed 16 Mar, 2005 08:17 pm
Thanks, dlowan! Believe me, on days like this the "relaxing" is as beneficial to me as it is to him.

I look forward to hearing whatever else you have to add when you find some free time.
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Reply Wed 16 Mar, 2005 09:21 pm

I've just finished reading Temple Gradin's second book Animals in Translation. She's autistic and as a child had a great deal of trouble relating to the rest of the world. She wanted the security of being held, but on her terms.

With the help of family members she created a "squeeze box" which would surround her and hold her and comfort her and be under her control.

Also, one of the wacky genes from the maternal side of my family causes the Same Sex Second Sibling Hissy Fit. My son, my sister, my cousin all went in for State Fair Blue Ribbon Terrible Two Tantrums.

Quite by accident--as an alternative to murder--I found that my dear little screaming maniac was happier covered up (sometimes by his beloved blanket, sometimes by my coat if my coat was all that was available). Once covered, the outraged roaring stopped. Every so often I'd peek under the cover and if the roaring resumed, I'd retreat.

Mo wants to be good--which means controling the rage and fury. He's far too old to be draped in a blanket. Can the two of you build a squeeze box? Or better yet, a small and cuddly lair--a world of a size he could control?

On the bright side, Mo dumped all his stress on you and took a nice, restorative nap. That's what Real Mothers are for.

Hold your dominion.
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Reply Thu 17 Mar, 2005 10:30 am
Noddy! You have given me an excellent idea for a companion thread!

I know there have been times where I've wanted to crawl under a blanket, or coat, or any handy nearby item but I have not yet consedered it for Mo.

I read a brief article in Newsweek about that young woman and her "squeeze box" and it sounded like an interesting book. I'll have to add that to my shopping list.
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Reply Thu 17 Mar, 2005 03:03 pm
I often suggest "nests" for such children - depending on their preferences.

A beanbag chair, or cushions, in some very contained spot - with a quilt or blanket, or a lot of furry toys, or other cushions, that they can pull over themselves is often good.

I prefer your being there approach, though.

Sometimes a beanbag, with quilts, rugs, furry toys or whatever the child likes placed over them - and gentle pressure applied by a loving carer seems to work magic.

Just make sure he can breathe!!!

I have all the materials for such in my office.
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donna downing
Reply Fri 6 Nov, 2015 09:20 pm

If your interested in learning more about the psychological state of children once they lose someone they love PERMANENTLY then you should research about sepanx or separation anxiety. Instead try searching about bereavement and coping mechanisms. I'm not at all familiar with the psychological concept so I can't help you. I'm sorry. Just revised your research and may you find what you are looking for.
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