re
I would like to continue the relationship, but i am just worried that he's had it and just wants nothing to do with me. If he wants nothign to do with me, then me calling would only add fuel to the fire.
No, not calling would.
As in -- if you don't call, it's almost definitely over.
If you do call, it might be over or it might not be.
No guarantees that if you call everything will be fine -- but with the "I know you can't be a boyfriend" text message the last thing out there, it's on you to heal that if anything is going to be healed at all.
re
i'm just torn as to what the right thing to do is...i feel like i've been chasing him and he's just tryign to give me messages that he's not really intersted. I mean he hasnt called much lately nor has he responded to my texts.
...after you sent him one that said YOU weren't interested. Even if that's not what you actually meant, that's what you said. You have to accept that.
Again:
Don't call, that's that. (Not necessarily a bad thing.)
Do call, might work out, might not.
jpinMilwaukee wrote:I think you are pushing to hard and scaring him away. I get tired just reading about your expectations of him let alone having to live up to them. Give the man some space and time to get comfrtable with you. Quit being so pushy and so demanding. It seems like it is always all or nothing with you and that is going to scare most guys off.
This pretty much covered it on page 1 of this thread.
re
exactly that's why i'm thinking that calling him is not a good idea.
A bit late for that, class. It WAS not a good idea, a long time ago.
Now it's a different kind of calling, calling to apologize for your actions.
I personally think this relationship has no hope and so it's not a good idea for you to call and the relationship, such as it is, will be over and everyone can move on.
But if you're talking about not calling him because it will scare him off -- sending him a text breaking up with him and leaving it at that is a lot scarier than apologizing for your immature and confusing behavior.
It's deja vu all over again - Yogi Berra
re
well he called last night...i was in class and by the time i got out it was 9:30. I called him back but just got his voicemail...he sounded fine in the message...
<shrug>
Perhaps he's getting used to the mixed messages?
I dunno, half of me wants you guys to get to a point where you are having a real relationship so that he can talk to you about the craziness and maybe make more of an impression than we are. THEN, after you've really learned some lessons from this whole thing, you can take that and apply it to a mature relationship next time.
The other half wants the whole thing to end NOW before it just gets uglier.
But what I want really, really doesn't matter here. :-)
If nothing else, this has given me insight on so many posters here who are married, kids, etc., and post with their current problems, and we say but why did you get married in the first place???
<shrugs again>
I'll just say, make sure when you talk to him next you resolve the question of whether you are broken up or not, and if you aren't, resolve the question of who calls who how often.
re
i jsut like him so much...but i feel like all he wants is friends with benefits relationship. WHY? Can i do anything to change his mind?
Stop having sex with him and see if he still comes around.
Or ya know just TALK to him.
Your "feelings" about what he wants haven't been so on target throughout this odyssey.
re
i jsut got a text message from him...i always get so excited when i hear from him...
It's difficult to maintain long distance relationships. So, you either move closer together emotionally, or realize that he has chosen to stay where he is. It's difficult to find someone that you are in sync with all the time.
You want more, he want's less. Therein lies the conflict. If he loves you, I would think that he would want to get married. But, what do I know....
