roger wrote:roger does not mumble
Phew! I was starting to worry for a second there :wink:
That's OK, Roger. I'm a party-pooper, too. C'mon... let's go for a walk and mumble.
You mumble quite distinctly, Phoenix, though not with the typical mid America accent.
You're on, Pif.
One of my friends had a boyfrind who was funny, friendly, charming but he really didnt want her to go to college ie meet new people, have a different social life to him etc and he would never encourage her to do it and critisize any work she did for it.
IT TOOK ME YEARS to realise HE was insecure.
Admittedly he was never a physical abuser but he played serious mind games with her.
I now see him as a perfect example of an insecure charmer and know what to look out for so I can exclude it from my life.
Where's Charms? She said she was going to check today. I hope she's okay...
It's still early, so I'm sure we'll hear from her sometime today. I hope so.
I was a little uncomfortable Friday when she said she had printed this out and was going to take it home to read.
Anyone else catch that?
Hope all is well.
Yep. That was about 40 minutes later in the day then it is right now, and she was finishing work... So right about now is when she should respond if she's going to. We're worried about you Charms.
squinney wrote:I was a little uncomfortable Friday when she said she had printed this out and was going to take it home to read.
Anyone else catch that?
Hope all is well.
That makes me feel a bit uneasy too, but I'm keeping in mind what she was saying about her not being afraid of him.
I've thought about her a lot this weekend too. Her first post was on Tuesday, early in the am. Maybe she doesn't work Sunday nights.
HI everyone, I'm sorry I couldn't respond on Monday. I was only at my desk for and hour, then was in meetings the whole day.
Well, On Friday afternoon after I logged off, my husband picked me up from work. Then instead of going home he took me to a out to dinner.
He apologised for what he did and asked me to forgive him.... I told him that he was never going to hurt me like that again. I asked him why he hurt me and he said he didn't realise he was hurting me so bad until it was too late. I told him that the only way that I was going to stay with him is if he goes for counselling, and that he was an abuser. He said that he would do anything thing it takes to save our marraige and that he didn't want to loose me.
I asked him why he told me that it was my fault, and he said that he did that because he didn't want to admit to himself that he abused me. He told me that the past 7 days had been the longest of his life and he never wanted to go through that again. He said he could see that I was upset and that what he did really HURT me.
I stressed the fact that I will not tolerate any abuse from him ever again, and I told him that if he didn't apologise to me today I would have left him that night.
He made an appointed to see a counsellor this week. I asked him to admit that he abused me and he did, he said "I abused you and I hurt you, you have every right to hate me because I hate myself even more."
I decided to give him another chance... and I know that many of you are thinking that I'm really STUPID for doing it, but at this moment, it feel like the right thing to do. I think he deserves a second chance, and the mere fact that he admited to the abuse, and that he is going for couselling is a sign that he really regrets what happened and that he wants to save what we have.
I would like to thank everyone who replied Especially ((((Bill, material_girl, Eva, Brook, and J_B)))) for all their Support, encouragement and STRAIGHT talk, I really do not know what I would have done if you guys weren't there for me last week.
WISH ME LUCK......
Charms, I was really on the fence about this, and finally switched over to the majority after hearing about his going through your wallet, and some other little incident that didn't mean much to most people.
Well, when most of us know we're wrong, it's easiest to put the blame on someone else. All the best.
Im soooo glad he admitted he was wrong and apologised to you and you have decided to work at your marriage.So nice of him to take you out to dinner to talk about it.
You both are making all the right moves, him going to counselling and you not backing down.
But remember he only gets 1 more chance.
I really think his silly cousin needs sorting out now and I hope you can be a shoulder to lean on for his wife.
Good luckXXXXXX
Thanks (((material_girl))) you were there for me from the start!
I'm just so relieved that he finally admited that what he did to me was wrong. He realises that he was the one at fault. And, believe me, he knows that if there's gonna be a next time, then I'm done with him!
I agree with about the cousin, and my heart always bleeds for his wife. I will always be there for her.
In control of your own destiny
Charms wrote:I decided to give him another chance... and I know that many of you are thinking that I'm really STUPID for doing it, but at this moment, it feel like the right thing to do. I think he deserves a second chance, and the mere fact that he admited to the abuse, and that he is going for couselling is a sign that he really regrets what happened and that he wants to save what we have.
Charms:
The people here care about your welfare and no one here is going to beat you up about your choices. It was wrong for your husband to try to control you through verbal and physical abuse; it would be equally wrong for any of us to try and control you by insulting your decision. There is cause for us to worry about you, but we know you have been informed and educated concerning abusive relationships.
Right now, you are in control of your own destiny. Never relinquish that control. Take care.
:wink:
