ok. as a new user here i am shocked and stunned by the anti male bias some people have
Hi theanonymouse and welcome to the forum.
Now, tell me........why would you say you are shocked by something that is simply NOT there. If you see anti male bias when people on this forum are speaking with women that have been abused...you are simply not seeing straight. If it "seems" like male bashing to you, perhaps you need to understand we are addressing a "situation" ....that's all.
Not the whole male population.
i have been hit and hurt in a similar way to charms, but did i leave no.. one incident does not make an abuser
One incident is indeed abuse. One incident can even kill. It only takes one incident to send someone to jail. Men by nature are stronger than women. When someone is abused for the first time, a seperation of sorts can sometimes be a very good thing. Why? Because it tells the "abuser" that it is NOT OK to hit! It provides a cooling off period.
and brooke.. do you also deal with female violence on men at the centre, (it does happen at the same rates as women on men, but men dont report it.. and if they did they would be ridiculed and told men deserved it..)
We certainly do deal with men at the shelter. If a man comes on this forum I would give him the same advice as I give a woman.
its a symptom of being part of a abusive culture, one incident, and thats it marriage should be over.. some men are gentle men, somtimes men dont know their own strength.. but that just means they are all abusers eh..
No one is saying the marriage should be over with one incident. I will say that the marriage is in danger. The marriage needs counseling to say the least. Seperation can be a good thing.
yes there are abusive husbands, but there is also a possibility it was an accident..
An accident? How so?
If someone is in a heated argument with me and he causes harm to my body......it is no accident. For whatever it was that he did to me, was of his own free will. If he hurt me because he is stonger than even he realizes...that is STILL no excuse. For the pain to my body never would have happened, had he not rough housed me anyways. Get it?
In Charms case......the abuse to her was followed up by denial. Her husband blamed HER for what HE did. That is a classic sign that there could be more to come. Will there? Maybe not....but she does well to educate herself. And she does well....to know the signs.
Simply put........... There are no simple answers for victims. Each case can be a little different than someone elses. Abuse in this society is where it is at today.....because too many victims allow it to go on. And that means.......nip it in the bud from the get go.
Sorry you don't understand that.