My husband of 9 months bruised my arm

What is Domestic Violence?
The conduct which constitutes domestic violence may be divided into different categories which include
physical
emotional
psychological
sexual
and economic abuse between persons who are in a domestic relationship with one another.

In addition to the above, conduct between persons who are in such a relationship which, according to the Act, also qualifies as domestic violence include -
intimidation
harassment
stalking
damaging of property
entry into the residence of the victim without consent, where the parties do not share the same residence or, any other controlling or abusive behaviour towards a victim, where such conduct harms, or may cause imminent harm to the safety, health or well-being or the victim.

Duties of Police Officers
The new Act sets out duties for the police official at the scene of domestic violence or when a domestic violence case is reported.
The member must first of all determine whether the complainant is in any danger and take all reasonable steps to secure the scene and to protect the complainant from any further harm.
Once the scene has been secured, the member must -
(a) render such assistance to the complainant as may reasonably be required in the circumstances,
(b) if it is reasonably possible to do so, hand a written Notice to the complainant and explain the contents of the Notice to the complainant, e.g.
(i) the right to lay a criminal charge
(ii) the right to apply for a protection order
(iii) the right to lay a criminal charge as well as apply for a protection order. It is important to inform the complainant that laying a criminal charge is not a prerequisite for applying for a protection order.

The Notice must be provided to the complainant in the official language of his or her choice.
A member must assist the complainant to find suitable shelter or make arrangements for the complainant to find suitable shelter.
A member must assist the complainant to obtain medical treatment or make arrangements for the complainant to obtain medical treatment.

Specific Powers and Duties of Members in Terms of the Domestic Violence Act
The court may, in terms of section 7(2)(a) of the Domestic Violence Act, order a member to seize any arm or dangerous weapon in the possession or under the control of a respondent.
(a) A member may arrest a respondent who has contravened any prohibition, condition, obligation or order contained in a protection order . A complainant may hand the warrant of arrest together with an affidavit, wherein it is stated that the respondent contravened such protection order, to any member.
(b) If the member is of the opinion that there are insufficient grounds to arrest the respondent, her/she must immediately hand a written notice to the respondent (Form 11), and must hand the certificate, provided for in the notice, to the respondent. The member must forward a duplicate original of this notice to the clerk of the court.
(c) Whenever a warrant of arrest is handed to a member of the Service as contemplated in par (b), the member must inform the complainant of his or her right to simultaneously lay a criminal charge against the respondent, if applicable, and explain to the complainant how to lay such a charge. 3. A member may be ordered by the court to serve an interim or final protection order. 4. A court may order a peace officer (which include any member) in a protection order, to accompany the complainant to a specified place to assist with the arrangements regarding the collection of the personal property specified in the order. Such member must take reasonable steps to ensure the safety of the complainant during the collection of the property.

Record Keeping of Domestic Violence Cases
All domestic violence incidents which are reported to the police station must be recorded in the Domestic Violence Register. (At present no figures exist regarding the number of domestic violence cases reported to the Service because there is no such crime as "domestic violence". Incidents of domestic violence are included amongst figures relating to assault gbh, assault common, rape, attempted murder, pointing of a firearm, etc. The introduction of this register will ensure that this situation changes.) 2. Regardless of whether or not a criminal offence has been committed, a member must fully document every incident of domestic violence on the form entitled Report of Domestic Violence Incident. 3. Where no arrest is made or any charge laid, the member must document the reasons for not doing so in his/her Pocket Book.

agreed, but would an abuser wait SEVEN YEARS to show the signs?

Some facts about domestic violence:

“The family, with the exception of the military in times of war and the police, is society’s most violent institution.” (Gelles p. 35) Domestic violence is widespread. In US studies approximately 25% of all couples surveyed reported an incident or incidents of domestic violence. A minimum of 2,000,000 women in the US are severely assaulted each year, and between 21% and 34% of all women will be assaulted by an intimate male during their adulthood. (APA) Statistics Canada estimates that 29% of women over the age of 16 have been sexually or physically assaulted by a marital partner. Assault usually recurs, once one incident has taken place. . . .

Although there is abuse during courtship – 32% of college women in a US study reported some form of aggression from dates or partners - abuse tends to occur more frequently after the partners have been committed to the relationship, and early in the marriage or common-law union. In the US, 73% to 85% of abused wives reported that their husbands were not abusive until after the marriage took place.

Violent episodes begin with confrontational arguments. The arguments have a content. The leading issues in the episodes studied were (1) sexual jealousy (2) money (wife’s wish for housekeeping money, or their complaints about husband’s wasting money on drink or gambling.) (3) wife’s performing her domestic duties.

The content is less important than the central issue in the confrontation, which is “the relationship between husband and wife.” The relationship involves a pattern of domination and subordination, to which the wife is expected to adhere. “Women were re-quired to agree with their husbands and accept their position of authority regardless of its merit.” (p. 502)

Men expect that their interests come first, because they are men. They believe that their rights come ahead of those of women. They do not focus on the needs and concerns of others, particularly when the others are women. Violent men do not feel that women have the right to make claims on them, and they believe that claims made by women should be quieted by force.

Thank you (((( Brooklyn )))) for the pm. Sorry I couldn't answer it. I'm still unable to do pm's.

I would say that you should demad that he get therapy. If he refuses, don't argue with him, just move out when you can without a big blowup, and refuse to see him. You might have to get therapy yourself to learn why you were attracted to such a man.