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The Truth About Porn- A Non-Bashing Woman's View

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Montana
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 01:45 pm
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
Montana wrote:
Someone here did compare romance novels to porn and I do have to say that this statement blows me away. I don't know what kind of romance novels you're talking about, but the ones I read don't even come close to comparing to porn.


I think Frank did earlier, and I mirrored the same in my porn thread.

I don't mean romance novels are pornographic. What I meant, is women and men are turned on by different things. This is part of what I wrote on my thread:

"guys are turned on my big boobs, nice hair, whatever. Women are turned on by looks as well, but there are other factors that give them the gut "wow, that guy's hot" affect. This is why women read romance novels and watch romantic movies for stimulation, and guys look at Penthouse."

Men are turned on by visual stimuli(porn), and women are turned on by things that grab their emotions, such as romance novels, stories in Cosmo, romantic movies. I know they're different things, but kind of serve the same purpose.


I hear what you're saying Slappy, but if I was with a guy that need porn to turn him on, he's not the guy for me. The way I see it is that I'm the one who's suppose to be turning him on. Anyway, to each their own.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 03:11 pm
kickycan wrote:
Check this out.

The Associated Press
Updated: 9:57 a.m. ET Nov. 19, 2004

...Mary Anne Layden, co-director of a sexual trauma program at the University of Pennsylvania, said pornography's effect on the brain mirrors addiction to heroin or crack cocaine.


DAMN! Really? I'm gonna hafta get me some crack cocaine! Idea
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 03:20 pm
Montana, read my thread on this. Your guy IS still turned on by you, but no matter what, a male is going to check out other women, and is going to be turned on by other women. There's no way around it.

Of course there's different degrees, some guys buy porn, some don't, but we all notice all you hot chicks walking around.
0 Replies
 
Lady J
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 03:24 pm
Slappy, for some reason, I just love your posts. Smile
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 03:33 pm
I know the reason: I'm wicked awesome.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:15 pm
Montana - if you're reading any romance novels, you're reading Harlequin. They control the industry - have bought out all the competitors. Romance = porn. Some of is minimally different from what you find in Penthouse Forum.

There's also quite a bit of visual porn being developed with women in mind. Apparently, men and women aren't that different in terms of what arouses them (several of us have posted the research on this in other threads) - but women don't like to admit it. Interesting studies of blood flow, brain activity and the like. We're aroused, but most of us aren't talking about it.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:20 pm
ehBeth wrote:
Montana - if you're reading any romance novels, you're reading Harlequin. They control the industry - have bought out all the competitors. Romance = porn. Some of is minimally different from what you find in Penthouse Forum.
Quote:



Very true. The diffrence...
Harlequin says " swelled member'
Penthouse says ' big co*k'
0 Replies
 
willow tl
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:23 pm
Quote:
Very true. The diffrence...
Harlequin says " swelled member'
Penthouse says ' big co*k'



I believe in calling a spade a spade :wink: but i can masturbate to either. Shocked
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:24 pm
paulaj wrote:
Frank
I see and understand your point. The only thing is, would you want to be maried to someone your not attracted to? I was married for 13 years and yes sex can become predictable, uneventful for stretches.

But if a spouse is so turned off by the other to the point of cheating, that couple is living in a false relationship.
In your first scenario, it seems like the wife is getting ripped off. The foreplay is with the porn and not with her. I can see the porn as a 'jump start', but if my spouse just used me to "drop his load in" (your description sounds a bit like that) I would rather be divorced.


I understand.

But as I said earlier...women sometimes are as lacking in understanding of the sexual predicament of men...as men are lackking in understanding about the maternal instinct in women.

Not sure how to end this...except to acknowledge that there are two sides to the issue...and I can appreciate both sides.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:27 pm
By the way...the porn industry is experiencing quite a shift from almost exclusively male dominated...to a considerable influx of women producers and directors.

And the reason I've seen given for the change is...

...that the women are able to give porn a direction that appeals to the women viewers.

Viewing of porn seems to be getting to be more a coed undertaking these days.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:32 pm
willow_tl wrote:



I believe in calling a spade a spade :wink: but i can masturbate to either. Shocked



You masturbate with a spade????

wow.... you really ARE tuff..... Shocked




Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
willow tl
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 04:40 pm
shewolfnm wrote:
willow_tl wrote:



I believe in calling a spade a spade :wink: but i can masturbate to either. Shocked



You masturbate with a spade????

wow.... you really ARE tuff..... Shocked




Laughing Laughing



like i said...one persons pain is another persons pleasure... :wink: Shocked :wink: Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 05:47 pm
Montana wrote:
Someone here did compare romance novels to porn and I do have to say that this statement blows me away. I don't know what kind of romance novels you're talking about, but the ones I read don't even come close to comparing to porn.

I did in the other thread a long while ago, and I think shewolf quoted me on it here (?).

Like Slappy says, the point isn't that romance novels are like porn in style or whatever. My point was that many women turn to romance novels for much of the same kind of reasons many men turn to porn. They find it arousing. It might serve as fodder for masturbation fantasies. Men and women both masturbate - just while some men do it after they looked at some pictures, some women do it after they dreamed away with some romance novel thing. (Not saying that every time you read a romance novel ... etc ... but come on, it's one of the things they're used for).

Also, in both cases, and this was really why I made the comparison in the first place back then, the guy and the girl are both temporarily fleeting from day-to-day reality and fantasising about some fictitious persons who dont exist in their real marriage, and, well, get off on that one way or another. This was relevant because as you'll have seen, there's a lot of the "if he thinks about someone else while he's masturbating he's in fact cheating on me" kind of logic in those porn threads. This I truly found hard to wrap my mind around. I mean, when you masturbate (not necessarily you, Montana, but just, you, women), do you always just fantasise about your own man every single time? Kidding, right? Sometimes you might fantasize about some movie star or rock singer - or the guy just described in that romance novel you just read. So whats the difference? Man closes himself off from the whole daily household-marriage-responsibilities thing for a sec, looks at some pictures, fantasises about what he sees, gets off. Woman closes herself off from the whole daily household-marriage-responsibilities thing for a sec, reads some trashy novel or watches some sappy movie, fantasises about what she sees, gets off. Why would one be cheating when the other isn't? They're doing the same kind of thing, they just get off on different things.

That was kinda the context I put the comparison in, when I made it ... does that make sense?
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 05:56 pm
Eva wrote:
kickycan wrote:
Check this out.

The Associated Press
Updated: 9:57 a.m. ET Nov. 19, 2004

...Mary Anne Layden, co-director of a sexual trauma program at the University of Pennsylvania, said pornography's effect on the brain mirrors addiction to heroin or crack cocaine.


DAMN! Really? I'm gonna hafta get me some crack cocaine! Idea


I'm ready to party...
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 05:57 pm
ehBeth wrote:
Montana - if you're reading any romance novels, you're reading Harlequin. They control the industry - have bought out all the competitors. Romance = porn. Some of is minimally different from what you find in Penthouse Forum.

There's also quite a bit of visual porn being developed with women in mind. Apparently, men and women aren't that different in terms of what arouses them (several of us have posted the research on this in other threads) - but women don't like to admit it. Interesting studies of blood flow, brain activity and the like. We're aroused, but most of us aren't talking about it.


I don't know exactly when I contracted it, but I have suffered from Harlequin Romance disease for many years....it's main symptom? Burning loins.......
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 05:59 pm
Although watching porn can be enjoyable....I prefer appearing in it....
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:03 pm
Oh, not that I buy the "men just go for A and women will never understand cause they go for B" stuff, by the way ... it's all up to the person, innit?

Playboy doesnt do nothing for me, for example - all those bland, plastic women with all the same faces, fake expressions and fake boobs - nothing. And the sex movie stuff they show on TV on late hours is mostly just dreadful, with inane settings and full of mindbogglingly ugly men (and rarely a beautiful woman too, in fact).

Then again there's what Beth just posted, about those researches that showed most women did get aroused just as much by porn, just, more of 'em refused to acknowledge it ... I guess there's simply just all sorts. Most men do more go for the visual and most women more for the narrative, I guess, on average and in general and so on ... but sooo many exceptions ...
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:18 pm
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
Although watching porn can be enjoyable....I prefer appearing in it....


Bear, I don't know if these people want to hear about you, 15 year old Japanese school girls, and bukkake. But I do!

This whole thread thing is a big reason I just can't see myself marrying anyone...instead of fantasizing, I'd rather just go and sleep with different women. Who knows, maybe someone will find me that can keep my interests for an extended period.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:28 pm
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
Although watching porn can be enjoyable....I prefer appearing in it....


Bear, I don't know if these people want to hear about you, 15 year old Japanese school girls, and bukkake. But I do!

This whole thread thing is a big reason I just can't see myself marrying anyone...instead of fantasizing, I'd rather just go and sleep with different women. Who knows, maybe someone will find me that can keep my interests for an extended period.


the pay is good and usually the set is well catered.....always a great salad bar... :wink:
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:49 pm
nimh wrote:
Montana wrote:
Someone here did compare romance novels to porn and I do have to say that this statement blows me away. I don't know what kind of romance novels you're talking about, but the ones I read don't even come close to comparing to porn.

I did in the other thread a long while ago, and I think shewolf quoted me on it here (?).

Like Slappy says, the point isn't that romance novels are like porn in style or whatever. My point was that many women turn to romance novels for much of the same kind of reasons many men turn to porn. They find it arousing. It might serve as fodder for masturbation fantasies. Men and women both masturbate - just while some men do it after they looked at some pictures, some women do it after they dreamed away with some romance novel thing. (Not saying that every time you read a romance novel ... etc ... but come on, it's one of the things they're used for).

Also, in both cases, and this was really why I made the comparison in the first place back then, the guy and the girl are both temporarily fleeting from day-to-day reality and fantasising about some fictitious persons who dont exist in their real marriage, and, well, get off on that one way or another. This was relevant because as you'll have seen, there's a lot of the "if he thinks about someone else while he's masturbating he's in fact cheating on me" kind of logic in those porn threads. This I truly found hard to wrap my mind around. I mean, when you masturbate (not necessarily you, Montana, but just, you, women), do you always just fantasise about your own man every single time? Kidding, right? Sometimes you might fantasize about some movie star or rock singer - or the guy just described in that romance novel you just read. So whats the difference? Man closes himself off from the whole daily household-marriage-responsibilities thing for a sec, looks at some pictures, fantasises about what he sees, gets off. Woman closes herself off from the whole daily household-marriage-responsibilities thing for a sec, reads some trashy novel or watches some sappy movie, fantasises about what she sees, gets off. Why would one be cheating when the other isn't? They're doing the same kind of thing, they just get off on different things.

That was kinda the context I put the comparison in, when I made it ... does that make sense?


Heehee - I have only read one romance novel in my life - and that was when we were fantasising of riches from writing Mills and Boon novels - but I think the guys have a good point here.

BTW, I HAVE read scholarly sociological treatises on how the changes in stuff like Mills and Boon reflects changes in the societal status and activities of women! So I know a bit about the content of the books....kinda like only reading Playboy for the articles, eh?

Laughing Laughing Laughing :wink:
0 Replies
 
 

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