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The Truth About Porn- A Non-Bashing Woman's View

 
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 12:50 pm
Wait...shewolfnm, what do you do for a living???
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Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:00 pm
Couple of comments if I may:

First of all...for guys of a certain age (and I suspect for guys of any age who have been faithful to just one woman)...porn provides a kind of non-intrusive Viagra effect.

Here's something ya gotta live with ladies: No matter how much we love ya...and I love my lady more than you can imagine...variety IS the spice of life. Now..."variety" can be had by running around and poking your dick in places you shouldn't be pokin' it...or it can be of a vicarious nature. (Read that: PORN!)

Secondly...that "lying" and "sneaking around" crap that seems to bother so many of you otherwise enlightened women on this issue....really is a non-starter.

From the remarks in the threads I've read...lying about it and sneaking it are just about the only way some guys can get the porn they crave.

The guys who lie about it...and who sneak it...ARE RIGHT!

They cannot be open about it.

The are, even I will acknowledge, deluding themselves that they are gonna get away with it...but they are right about why they are doing it.

I'll be happy to defend anything I've said to anyone who thinks I am all wet.
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panzade
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:01 pm
Slappy gets with the program...
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:12 pm
Frank, I agree that a lot of these guys can't be open about it but some women have told their man that they don't care and still, the men are lying and sneaking around. That is where the problem is. If I say to my husband that he can whack it whenever he feels like it, I'd expect him to be like "ok!" not say, "I don't do that", and catch him later.
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paulaj
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:14 pm
Moderation and honesty is the key. I would rather have my guy come to me and say I'm going to go check out some porn than be sneaky about it.

And as long as he didn't spend hours on the puter and ignoring my needs to be with him in a physical way I wouldn't have a problem with it.

It seems like the majority of girl's that post about "porn hubbies" are young newlyweds.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:17 pm
That's an interesting point paulaj. I've noticed that as well.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:17 pm
young newlyweds who think that marriage is all roses and sunshine. Shocked


HA! Boy were they misinformed. Laughing
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Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:21 pm
Kristie wrote:
Frank, I agree that a lot of these guys can't be open about it but some women have told their man that they don't care and still, the men are lying and sneaking around.


Not sure if I understand that...unless it comes under the heading of "The guy is notl listening to the words...but to the music."

If that actually is a problem with some guys...they have got serious issues to deal with. But I suspect that truly is not something that happens often.

Quote:
That is where the problem is.


I suspect that is not where the problem is. I suspect that women have as much difficulty identifying with male sexual instincts as men often do with identifying with female maternal instincts.

But...we may have to agree to disagree on this point.


[/quote]If I say to my husband that he can whack it whenever he feels like it, I'd expect him to be like "ok!" not say, "I don't do that", and catch him later.[/quote]

"Porn" is a different problem from "wacking it."

EVERY GUY IS GONNA WACK IT FROM TIME TO TIME.

Not every guy is gonna veiw porn. (Damn near every one...but not every one.)


Any woman who has a problem with her man occasionally mastubating is simply living in a make-believe world. There is no solution for her problem other than trying to get her to wake up.


Or at least, that is my opinion.
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paulaj
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:24 pm
If porn is their biggest problem, boy are they in for a surprise.
I don't post on those porn threads, it's the same thing over and over again, and I'll just end up sounding like a heartless b*tch. I'll let others do the mundane yakking, I just can't read another one.
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:31 pm
Ron shops at Walmart.

http://www.thewb.com/THEWB/Images/Dynamic/i48/SU-RJeremy-A_2x3_240.jpg
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paulaj
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:36 pm
cjhsa
accccccccccccccccccccccck!, get him off the screen!
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:36 pm
Frank, the whacking thing was just an example. I meant that if she says it's ok to watch porn every now and then and he says he'd NEVER watch that filth and she catches him...he's a liar. And that is what I won't tolerate. And neither should anyone else. Guys who lie because their women FORBID them to do anything are still doing wrong, but it is far more understandable. They are just keeping the peace.

But yes, I do agree that a lot of women take male sexuality personally, and not in a good way. Men are wired differently. It's true.

It's very hard to deal with sometimes but if you know that you don't understand it, it is easier to accept it. At least in my opinion.
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eoe
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:40 pm
I grew up with two older brothers who started sneaking Playboy magazine into the house as teenagers. Also the occassional Hustler and Penthouse. I was a little snoop and can't tell you some of the images I found in their room but I learned at an early age that men like to look at nude women and sometimes it gets kinky but that doesn't make them bad people. Or twisted or perverted.
I thought it was common knowledge that most men and some women are into porn to some degree until the rash of complaints on this site started a year or so ago. But as it's been said before, it's not the porn that's the problem, it seems. It's that so many lie about it.
My man has a couple of books and a few choice tapes. Is it a problem? No. About a year ago, I inadvertently discovered a couple of saved sites on his computer but I never bothered to check them out, mention it to him or even think much about it. It's no big deal.
Perhaps growing up with brothers gives one a different perspective.
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panzade
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:45 pm
I would venture to guess that 75% of all women grew up with brothers...but all that knowledge sometimes goes out the window when she marries her knight on the...etc
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:49 pm
panzade wrote:
I would venture to guess that 75% of all women grew up with brothers...but all that knowledge sometimes goes out the window when she marries her knight on the...etc


Her knight on the....couch? With the remote? Laughing

just kidding pan! :wink:
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boomerang
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:49 pm
I've never pursued internet porn. My only experience with it at all is when my friend told me about finding some on her son's computer. My friend is very open minded, a bit of a nasty girl herself, but she was really disturbed by the images -- and not just because it was her son looking at them -- she said they were really, really nasty.

If Mr. B is looking at that stuff I really don't want to know about it. I certainly wouldn't invade his privacy to find out.

As to erotica or magazines like "Playboy" I don't have any problem at all with those. Mr. B subscribed to "Playboy" for years and, as a photographer, I actually got some pretty good shooting ideas from looking at it too.
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panzade
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:51 pm
No Kristie....behind every joke there is a bitter truth...you rascal you...
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:55 pm
Today my roomate was looking at internet porn in his room and shouts out "Hey! You know what's funny about internet porn? There's people out there alot more f#%ked up them me!"
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paulaj
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:56 pm
Pan
I agree.
It might go out the window when are emotions are highly charged, like if we feel our relationship is being threatened/challenged, that will do it.
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paulaj
 
  1  
Fri 19 Nov, 2004 01:57 pm
Slappy
Did you join him or just agree?
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