Someone sent me this. I thought it was a particularly heart-warming message, perhaps a little too spirited for your tastes, perhaps not.
Quote:
"My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.
You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement..
I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind... Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.
In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency too to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails. We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?...
Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.
One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.
There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours: They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.
This comes with much love and a prayer that you remember who you came from, and why you came to this beautiful, needful Earth."
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D - author of Women Who Run with the Wolves
Thank you lash!! I don't think anybody realizes how much it hurts to be that "gay guy sitting beside you". Its like the entire universe is against your existance... and now you are going to be afraid of becoming close to those people because you know they are apposed to a big part of you...
Well I am almost positive that I am a lesbian... and some of my friends are gay also. So whenever I am sitting in class with some of them or by myself and a disscussion arises about gay rights or gay marriage... they seem to be all against me...
and no matter how loud I yell or how good a point I have, noone can hear me.. or maybe noone wants to listen...
You're welcomed, sweetheart.
I know your "yelling" may have been figuratively-- but try to calmly pose questions that will make them think. Angry confrontation rarely changes one's mind.
I'm on your side.
In protecting the sanctity of marriage, George Bush has wisely opted for changing our nation's Constitution, rather than making awkward calls to his adulterous father or brother.
After all, it's been far too long a time since we told colored people that they are only 3/5 of a person, resourcefully using the Constitution as a weapon to denigrate an uppity minority. However, there is so much more President Mandate could do in his zeal to appeal to pious Christians so enthusiastic about the idea of marriage that they think it ungrateful to stop at one.
Since the dissolution of a marriage tends to more effectively undermine its alleged sanctity, shouldn't we promote other of Jesus' Words by passing the "Whatsoever God hath joined together, let no man cast asunder" Amendment based on Matthew 19:6? Granted, this is a rather inconvenient proscription, but it was underscored by that killjoy, the Son of God. While the suspiciously unmarried Jesus never mentioned homosexuals, married or otherwise, He expressly pointed out to His ostensible followers that if they married more than once (one time), they would be committing adultery. (Matthew 5:32 and, for good measure, Matthew 19:9)
But, you know, on second thought, that sure would be inconvenient. So let's just forget what Jesus actually said and concentrate on what Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and our President write in their solicitations for donations instead.
Deal? Good! I feel better already. Don't you?
I do rather like that, pdiddie.
Get married once. Stay married.
No divorce, or if divorced, no remarriage, because that's against the teachings of Christ.
Works for me.
Worked for my wide family..
Piffka, that was lovely. Thanks
I'm glad you liked it, Ceili.
I am bemused, this whole question seems like so... twenty five years ago, if not centuries before.
On another subject, but somewhat related, I remember one of my first serious divergences with my exhub, and it wasn't all that divergent at that.. was when
he signed up for some course in screenwriting, perhaps on psychology in screenwriting... anyway, he came home one day after class with a clear bead that the most important motivator in all human encounters is Fear.
I begged to differ. But, y'know, the teacher said...
the teacher wasn't all that wrong, but was at least not completely right. I distrust easy answers to things. Still, fear of other, and possibly of self, seems to obtain as a motivator for a lot of action.
I have another stupid question. Some of the people that I work with were married to opposite sex people at one time but now are with same sex partners. I am not close enough with any of them to pose this question to them, but here goes. Were they always gay and were just trying to live a "normal" life or did something change?
Anyone that I know that was in this situation stated they had homosexual feelings as far as they remember. The opposite sex marriage was a result of them trying to fit into society and be "normal". They may have even loved their partner, but really was attracted to people of the same sex. The person I know best in this regard is actually the daughter of a lesbian. Her mom and dad were married, but her mom was always a lesbian. She tried to hide it by marrying, but it eventually ruined their marriage. They did divorce and now the mom and her partner live together as a couple and she is happy now.
From a personal standpoint:
My girlfriend was married for 21 years and had 3 boys with a pretty "decent"guy who took a lover and came out of the closet. The damage he did to this woman and the 3 boys is unfathomable.
I believe he was "always " gay and was trying to deny his true self. If only our society would allow gays to find themselves before others are damaged.
BTW, the same holds true for the flip side. A good friend of my parents came out of the lesbian closet back in the 70's and the entire family became dysfunctional.
I had a boyfriend many years ago who was, I see in retrospect, one of the best lovers I ever had. He came out as a gay man a number of years later and established a long time relationship with another man. He certainly was hiding, when he was with me, as to be known as gay back then was quite a big deal - but he also had sexual attraction to some women. (Trust me on this, ours was a relationship of attraction for both of us.)
Thanks for the replies. Keep 'em coming. This is very informative.
One of my best friends, her husband came out of the closet when their daughter was 4. Never a great time, but he went into a really wonderful relationship with another man fairly quickly, and littleE benefitted from having happy parents with happy partners. It had been a pretty miserable experience for everyone in the house before. Tensions that my friend and her daughter didn't understand. Distress on the part of littleE's father.
After time and counselling it came out that the dad had been interested in men since his early teens, but his religious and military upbringing didn't allow him to accept it in himself. Over twenty years of repression created a lot of pressure which made his life, his wife's life, and their daughter's life very difficult.
Some of his preferences in his relationship with my friend made a lot more sense once the truth about his sexuality was revealed.
I had a conversation with a guy in one of my classes today who brought up a good point. 1st of all he is gay in his 40's and has had the same partner for 10 years. He said that when people die and get to the gates how many will feel funny because the real test on earth is tolerance? Now that being said he also made it a point that this tolerance needs to come from both sides, tolerance for anyone that is different from you. If you are gay then tolerance for straight people, white tolerance for african americans etc. I thought that this was a very interesting point and one that all humans need to work on.
He said that all humans have a tendency to distrust what they don't understand and that always leads to hate if you don't educate yourself on that persons issues and ways of life.
When I told him that I was a christian republican he almost freaked out telling me that there was no way. But then after we talked more he said that he needed to educate himself more on the feelings of people like myself. So to end this long story we will be exchanging e-mails and nothing is too sacred to ask each other. I'll keep you informed.
cannistershot, one of my best friends (male) was happily married to a woman who left him suddenly after 12 years of marriage. He soon met and fell in love with a man. They've been together for 10 years now, and they have a much better relationship than my friend ever had with his ex-wife.
I asked him the question you asked. Was he always gay and hiding it, or did he change? He said he had been attracted to both men and women since he was a teenager. He thought if his wife hadn't left him, he would have remained happily married for the rest of his life. He considers himself a bisexual in a gay relationship.
So, I suppose there are not always clear-cut answers.
I just know that I've never had any control over who I was (or wasn't) attracted to. My life would have been much easier if I could have decided who I wanted to be attracted to. I imagine we could all say the same thing.
So, if I can't control it, why would I think anyone else can? Sexual orientation is hardwired into our brains, I think. (And recent scientific data seems to back that up.) And if you believe in a God, as I do, then God must have made us that way. I prefer not to believe that God made mistakes...that some are gay by design.
Thank you Eva! Interesting about the bi-man in the gay relationship. I've never heard that before.
