Yesterday, I am in front of my computer immersed in photo shop working on the wedding photos I just took the day before.
Jillian comes out of no where... squealing.. almost scared.. but REALLY happy about something. So she stands next to me waiting for me to finish almost bouncing out of her skin. I look over at her and I ask her what is going on.
She says 'Mama pweease see something"
-Sure . What is it?
- Is in dere..
-Whats in there?
-Inna toilet
- What did you put in the toilet? ( im worried now.. already a step ahead thinking of getting the plunger)
- Commaa seee! COME see! Its inna toilet.
-Well, what is it?
- issa POOP!!!!
- Well, poop goes in the toilet. That is its place. I dont feel like seeing poop right now. No poop is this monumental.
-You gottta see it mama. issa cool poop. <-- her words.
ok. at this point Im thinking there is no way out of seeing this childs poop and if Im going to be able to get back to work , I better see this monumentally COOL poop. She walks in front of me with this devilish laugh I only hear when she is really up to something awful and Im re-thinking getting that plunger! But I am going to trust her. After all she didnt mention any toys, JUST poop.
We arrive at the toilet , and she is so proud of herself, she has shut the lid to help with a dramatic presentation. Happily trying to get me to close my eyes first "beeeecause mama, isssa sthuprise. " I just stare at her and ask her to open the toilet wondering why I even got up in the first place.
So.......... she opens it. SLOWLY.
And - staring back at me is the most hideous, blue blob - just ... sitting there.
The water is blue.
that THING is blue
even some of the toilet bowl itself is BLUE.
I mean, this thing should have had a collar and a leash on it. Giving it a name might have been appropriate too..
So I stare.
She giggles.
I stare some more.
She giggles harder.
I finally ask her " Are you ........sick? .............whats........whats wrong here?" (Im just.. stunned.)
My mind is racing because I have never ever in my life seen blue poop before and I dont know what to think . I mean.. even the poop itself looks like a huge chunk of a crayola factory. And that quick mommy scan gives me nothing.
No hot forehead. She DOESNT have the runs. She ate all day, drank a butt load of water because she was swimming the day before and...................
OHHHHHHHH YEAH.
Blue.
I remember now. I had one too and it tasted like **** and I threw mine out.. ............ Im staring at the second life of the snow cone.
Its even shaped like a snow cone.
Now how did she do that?
I cant help it anymore.
Her and I start laughing uncontrollably. .........and ya know what?
That really WAS a monumental poop.
Im not sure how she got that out of there.. but MAN.. she was proud ........
she asked me to take a picture. I almost DIED at that point. I was laughing so hard I think I broke a rib.
No pictures little miss
No matter how much you beg. But thanks for sharing.
Im scared to think what poor Veola our friend who was with us, went through.. ........ she ate 5 of those things.. ... all different colors too
( starts singing.. some WHERE over the rainbowwwwwwwww. )
