How do i figure out what I want?

Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 09:02 am
Growing up I was told never to think about what I really wanted in life. I just knew I didn't want the life I had. So I would just make it through one day at a time. I didn't even know if i would live to see the next day let alone the future. I gave up on myself a long time ago

I never dreamt of marriage or kids or a career. But now I'm in the navy as a surgical tech. I have a steady job and when people ask a simple question like where would you go in the world if you could go anywhere.

my mind just blanks. Because I never even thought about it. And I keep trying to think of thinks I want but I can't I'm just so numb.

So how do I dream? How do I figure it out when I gave up so long ago
Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 10:25 am
Not everybody pictures marriage and kids, etc. when they think of their future.

And a lot of younger folks (and not so young, I might add) draw blanks when asked where to go, what to do. That's pretty damned normal.

I only, personally, began to see the way in the past decade and a half or so, as technology caught up and gave me a calling. But I grew up at a time when copying and pasting meant real scissors and tape. Things have changed.

So understand that what will really grab you may not be out there yet, or you might not know about it yet.

Best advice I can give you is twofold:
  1. Have as many varied experiences as possible. Be creative. But don't risk your life. E. g. I am not recommending that you shoot heroin; I'm recommending that you go to Europe, and,
  2. Have an open mind. If someone tells you that what interests you is pedestrian, or you won't make any money at it, or it's boring or whatever, well, they are not you. Don't let other people's expectations and prejudgments define you.
Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 10:47 am
Thank you for replying and the advice. It does give me some hope. I appreciate it
Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 11:00 am
My pleasure - 'cause I've been there. It can stink when it seems like everybody's got their **** in gear but you.
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Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 11:11 am
Do you like what you're doing now?
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Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 11:39 am

I don't doubt when you say you draw a blank when asked what you want, but you may be falling into the same trap that many do: They limit themselves to what they think is 'realistic' which is probably what your parents (or whoever) actually meant when they gave you that instruction.

I would recommend that you first get rid of that limitation if it is there in your head. Impose NO limitation on what you think is possible before asking yourself what you want. If after doing that for a reasonable time you still come up empty then you're screwed, but I doubt that will happen.

If you do come up with something that appeals, start moving in that direction. No matter how small the steps, as long as the idea appeals to you, keep moving toward it.

But beware of a secondary trap. I did want all the usual things - wife, kids, house, car, toys of every description, money, freedom from any onerous task, free time, etc. Given my start in life those things seemed unlikely but the formula above worked. I got all that and more but ultimately it was not satisfying. After much pondering I came to know the only thing required for happiness. It is simply this:

All we need to be happy is something to look forward to.

If you really can't come up with anything, **** it, try drugs.
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Reply Fri 13 Nov, 2015 02:21 am
Read books. With patience. Something will resonate one day.
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Reply Fri 13 Nov, 2015 12:28 pm
You are in the navy - well that is a start - I am guessing you travel a bit in the navy? Just experience things - when you travel and get free time - experience the culture, visit, be a tourist.

You will start to figure things out, the more things you experience. What do you enjoy doing, for fun, for work, etc. Spend time doing things you enjoy - research what sorts of careers fall within what you enjoy and also where your strengths are. And if looking for a career - does the navy offer any career consultants? How did you happen to fall into the position you have at the navy? Maybe a result of your talents/interests?

Like jespah said - don't worry too much of not knowing what you what out of life -- part of learning that is to experience different things - that way you find out what interests you and what talents you have. Be open to various experiences and opportunities and you never know where it will take you.

And remember even those people who have their life planned out on what they want at young age, rarely does it pan out to what they planned....life has a funny way of leading you in different directions.
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Reply Thu 30 Jun, 2016 04:03 pm
FInd Jesus and it will come clear. IT WILL.

Why? Because you will have the same problem later. You will have found the interstate but you won't be able to recognize the exit. -
cicerone imposter
Reply Thu 30 Jun, 2016 05:14 pm
If you're really interested in god(s), here's a good starting point.
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