Happiness within

I don't care if anything from me remains after I'm gone. In fact, it's probably a good thing in my case.

If you're one of those people who feels everyone has a purpose, then it's just as important to be one of those people whose life serves as a warning to others.

Sorry I couldn't say anything to cheer you up luis. I'm one of those people who isn't bothered by the fact we come into this world alone, and go out the same way.

Where else are you going to look for happiness if not within?

Those spake the contented, happy introvert.

Just letting you know that I am listening. Eventually I'll be back to comment some more. I'm sure there'll be others to come along and comment.

Right now what means a lot to me is to watch Robin Williams funniest interviews and routines on Youtube...'cause I miss him like a brother. Doing this helps snaps me out of my own stuff (some serious medical issues even though I look outwardly healthy...etc.).

Hello, Luis.

I like you, you know that, many of us do, while we are all different in many ways, which is no news to you.

Your moral values are not mine (I'm no longer anywhere near catholic), but I agree re basic morality and having your children get that, and I'd say that not by battering lessons but by adult practice.

On the other hand, I was raised with very heavy handed morality stuff on occasion (just right in elementary school from varied schools and of course my parents) and rather frightening in retrospect inculcation at a school with batshit nuns, an order I almost joined. Thank god or the moon or my own brain for getting out of that and getting a crush on some guy (not a bad guy, older, funny, kind, opened up my mind that I might not need to be a saint, nothing bad, just the news that I could be interested a lot. He opened things up just by talking, I was such an isolated kid.) One day I may post who he was, great film editor, but then, just a guy in the car. Saved my life actually.

I'm all for happiness in looking around and finding joy but also complication.
A kind of steadiness, and feeling part of it.

My own view is teach your children to look.
I could go on about that.

Feeling low is a natural outcome of our biology just as long as it's temporary.
Trying to make sense of what our lives should be is a daunting exercise in mental manipulation. It's a very strange and inexplicable phenomenon we humans go through with a few of us who really didn't have any goals while attending grade school. All my siblings knew what they wanted to do early in their lives, but I had no goals or motivation to do well in school.

But, it's really an irony in how life can turn out.

I drifted after graduation from high school, and after a couple of years drifting and struggling to make a living, I volunteered into the USAF because my future looked so bleak. At least I'll have a place to sleep and three squares a day. Lo and behold, they got me assigned to work with nuclear weapons, and made the rank of E4 after 18 months. I was made a team leader of a weapons team, and the officers treated me very well. I even made Airman for Six Months at Walker AFB for detecting and correcting the nuclear weapons tech manuals, and received an award by the Base Commander.

I met another buddhahead at Walker AFB, and we became close buddies. When he got his discharge, he said I should move to Chicago if I didn't have other plans, so that's what I did. He sorta adopted me as a brother, and treated me to play golf three-four times a week, went on double dates that he paid for, and I worked as an assistant matre 'd at his parent's night club on the weekends.

One summer, I drove home to California to visit family and friends, and saw my contemporaries attending college, so I decided that's what I needed to do.

To make a long story short, graduated with a BS in Business Administration with a concentration in Accounting. I worked 88% of my working career in management, married a wonderful woman (graduated high school, nursing school, and college with honors), and we raised to sons - both graduated college with honors.

I was fortunate, blessed, and lucky with most things that happened after I left the USAF in 1959. I have friends all over the world, and even met some interesting people during my travels. Lindsay Hamilton is a professional singer in London, and she's performed in several Lloyd Weber shows, and I met her on a trans-Atlantic cruise some years ago, and we still keep in touch by email. I also met Bob Brodsky, the scientist who designed the aerodynamics on the nuclear bombs I worked with in the air force. Bob also started Astronautics at USC and Iowa State Universities. I met Bob and his wife on a Mexican Riviera cruise in 2008, and we still keep in touch - about three times year. He and his wife lives in Southern California. I have friends in Dar es Salaam, Singapore, Moscow, Cuba, England, Germany, Australia, Italy, France, Canada, Mexico, and all across the US.

Happy? Yes, and I'm still traveling the world six or seven times a year.

I really care about what happens when i am gone. I think that one will end living on the memories that we left. I wil be happy to go if my chindren had learn something about me. Maybe because i am victim because of my catholic back frame.

I really do not think that everyone has a porpouse. I belive in uncertainty, but also i belive in the power of will. One is the arquitect of our own destiny. I think we give ourselves our own purpose.

Thanks for answering, thanks to everyone.

I had been also very sad about Robin Williams the whole week!!!

This afternoon i saw Death Poet Society for the 4th time this week. I miss him like that uncle that i always wished to have.

I think that moral values are universal. Of course religion teaches its particular ones, like faith, and the seek for redemption, but every other value teached by religion is universal. Humbleness, care for others, help those in need, care for your parents. That is why i see that is useless to fight about which religion is true. Also that is why i belive that someone can grow to be a good person without religion.



This is true, life is always struggle. I think that in this struggle is were we feel more alive.

and, what is fitting for me ...is...that topic of happiness from within...is the theme since his untimely death..which triggers my thinking of Robin Williams and his multiple mega-talents and his dark internal battles....with the id.

That is a real kick*ss story!!!

I had been waiting to long to begin my postgraduate studies. I think it is time to begin. Maybe i will end having an incredible life like yours. I want to make a residency in Internal medicine, and from there maybe cardiology.

I always wanted to travel far away to study. i have US close by. I had a plan to make my studies on the US, i actually already passed the first USMLE exam. i still have to pass two more. I planned before to study in Texas, but why have only this limit. I should go to where ever the match send me. I had always wanted to study in the Boston area. Also in Chicago.

I think is time to change completely of direction and of expectation.

Nobody had cause for depression more than I. I lived with sadness and rejection more years of my life than not. Instead of giving in to despair, I knew I would eventually come out on top and I have. I have health issues, but at nearly 72, I don't worry as much about that as before. I have learned to fight it off and to live with some of it and if I make it another ten or twenty years, it will not matter if it takes me. I knew my self worth was much more than the people who were contemptuous of me could ever know. I work still and I have friends that care about me. I have produced a couple of stories that I am proud of. My kids are grown and self sufficient. My wife is the companion I always needed. And my dog keeps me active when no one else is around.

My nephew is a doctor who works at Queens Hospital in Honolulu, and he loves to volunteer in third world countries to train other doctors. He was in Bhutan for three months this year to train doctors in Thimphu. He's also an adjunct professor at the University of Hawaii. He loves it!

His death remind me of one quote, that has been trending in tweeter around his death.

“Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”

I think is of Alan Moore, from his graphic novel Watchmen.

I admire you for everything you've become, and proud to call you a friend.

Having gone through some suffering in our early life makes our success even that much more sweeter.

That was worth a good laugh for today, and I thank you!

It's mutual, CI. You are one of the most successful persons I have ever known.

I had read many of your post and i also admire you. You seem to be someone to look up to. And even when we talk no so often i am glad to had met you here.

Thanks for answering. All of you have no idea how all this is helping me right now.

Thank you for the compliment. I sometimes seem standoffish to people before I get to know them.

There apparently are categories of depression. Some depression is chemical modes and extremely difficult to balance week to week, day to day, especially if tied to other disorders.

This is different, sometimes, re people being down by life.

I only came to know in later life that I had grown up with Asperger's Syndrome. It was undiagnosed and I spent much of my life blaming my failures on an abused childhood. I have had to do much rearranging of my thoughts re the past and present in the past several years. You can't know the depths one can sink to when one cannot hold a conversation or bond with another person.