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Useless Superpowers

 
 
Seizan
 
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 06:06 pm
This is a thread for all of us who have totally useless superpowers.

Mine are:

1. I can hold meaningful conversations with Schrodinger's Cat. Or not.

2. I am completely invisible but only when nobody is looking.
 
nacredambition
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 06:16 pm
@Seizan,
I can read minds here.
Sturgis
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 06:23 pm
I can divide any whole number by 1.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 07:04 pm
@Sturgis,
That's nuthin'.

I can multiple any whole number by zero.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 08:08 pm
Ooh! I just discovered that in my super-costume, I can hide and be perfectly camouflaged as long as it's rocks and they're purple with large yellow dots.

I can also fly -- that's right, be completely airborne -- as long as it's downwards. It's landing that I have to work on...
0 Replies
 
Skeleton
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 08:11 pm
I can make anyone mad just by mentioning gender
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 08:13 pm
@Skeleton ,
I am 13% invulnerable.

Also, I can smell the future.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 08:18 pm
@nacredambition,
I have developed the amazing ability to read my own mind. Anytime, anywhere. Even now, I am reading my own mind...

Incredible...
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 08:34 pm
My wife can move through time -- at the speed of time.
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 08:50 pm
@Seizan,
Seizan wrote:

This is a thread for all of us who have totally useless superpowers.


Wake up a few minutes before alarm goes off. It happens far more often than id like and when it goes off a few minutes later it just becomes a nag.
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 09:15 pm
@Krumple,
Ah -- for that matter...

Over time and with much exhausting practice, I have developed powerful muscles that allow me to lie perfectly still and keep my eyes shut for long periods of time without tiring...
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 09:21 pm
In addition to my "normal" hearing ability, I have the power to hear a monkey sneezing in Africa, even if I am on the other side of the planet.

I also have the power to feel someone else's shoes on my feet, even though they are in the Ukraine...

And as a bonus -- I am in possession of the arcane knowledge that no tree EVER falls in the woods out of hearing range. If they can't be heard, they just quietly lie down.

You can call me Doctor Strange. Or even just "strange" will do...

;-)
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 09:26 pm
@Seizan,
Oh yeah?

Well I can consistently show up one minute late to catch the train, even if I attempt to leave early, I still have to wait the full time till next train.
Kolyo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 09:48 pm
I have a 100% success rate at predicting the result of uncontested races for political office.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 09:50 pm
@Krumple,
Wow -- the ability to be warped by time...
0 Replies
 
TomTomBinks
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 10:31 pm
@Seizan,
I have the uncanny ability to predict which numbers will not be picked in the lottery drawing! I can do this consistently, without fail.
farmerman
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 11:21 pm
@TomTomBinks,
I have perfect penmanship.
0 Replies
 
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 11:21 pm
I have the power to fully recite the pledge Green Lantern makes when he charges his ring and I haven't read it ONCE since I was 16 years old.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 01:15 am
I have the power to read minds - anyone's mind. I'm unemployed because my assignment is to read Donald Trump's mind. There's nothing to read.
0 Replies
 
Timaeuslee
 
  0  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 02:19 am
@Seizan,
Are you telling a joke? haha
 

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