24
   

Useless Superpowers

 
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 06:26 pm
You know those potato chips of which they said "No one can eat just one"?

I can eat just one.

If my wife lets me.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 12:44 am
I have super memory. I can remember things that no one else can remember happening. No one else in the whole world. That's special...
roger
 
  2  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 01:15 am
@Seizan,
Yes, but I am proof that it is not unique.
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 03:11 am
@roger,
Maybe it isn't unique. I don't remember...

;-)
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 03:16 am
@Seizan,
How odd. I remember things you never thought about saying.
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 06:06 am
@roger,
Ha! I can remember things BEFORE they happen -- then when they don't happen I can STILL remember them.

Uhh... what was the question...?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 10:08 am
@Seizan,
I can make Roxanne turn off her red light just by walking down her block.
Sturgis
 
  2  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 02:49 pm
@tsarstepan,
I can clear a huge stadium just by singing
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 06:27 pm
@Sturgis,
I know how to empty an elevator really fast...
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 07:20 pm
@Seizan,
I know how to sing terribly as the only person in the choir that showed up for the funeral mass. I think the organist jumped up the organ, good idea.
Those poor mourners.
This was a long time ago, but I'm still sorry.
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 08:12 pm
@ossobucotemp,
ossobucotemp wrote:

I know how to sing terribly as the only person in the choir that showed up for the funeral mass. I think the organist jumped up the organ, good idea.
Those poor mourners.
This was a long time ago, but I'm still sorry.


If it makes you feel any better, you can sing at my funeral, I won't mind.
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 10:56 pm
@Krumple,
Ok, me too, but this is all unlikely.. plus I forget the words, even though I was snappy at latin, miserable voice.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2017 07:03 pm
Here's something I never told anyone before...

I see live people.

They're everywhere. And most of them don't even know they're alive...
Krumple
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2017 07:43 pm
@Seizan,
Seizan wrote:

Here's something I never told anyone before...

I see live people.

They're everywhere. And most of them don't even know they're alive...


That sounds creepy and scary, how do you handle it?
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2017 09:48 pm
I can stand at a bus stop and get one bus after another to drive on by...as long as I am looking in the opposite direction.

Strange thing is they never seem to respond to me waving frantically once they've passed. I guess I can alter their visual abilities too.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 29 Mar, 2017 03:32 am
My Mom could put whole rooms full of people to sleep simply by opening the Magic Book of Baby Photos...
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Mar, 2017 01:30 pm
I've been known to make it rain buckets of rain when people are planning an outdoor event.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Apr, 2017 06:53 am
I once had the honor of holding the seat of the Presidency of the United States -- for about ten seconds, then I had to put it back at the desk when the tour guide called two big burly guards over to haul me away...
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Apr, 2017 06:54 am
I can lip-read any language in the world. I just don't understand a single word of it.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 23 May, 2017 12:35 am
I can't hear my wife telling me to vacuum the floor, wash the dishes, or do the laundry -- but I can hear a lost kitten several sugar cane fields away.

And I always manage to rescue it. Even at 3AM.

This is real...
 

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