Useless Superpowers

You know those potato chips of which they said "No one can eat just one"?

I can eat just one.

If my wife lets me.

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I have super memory. I can remember things that no one else can remember happening. No one else in the whole world. That's special...

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@Seizan,

Yes, but I am proof that it is not unique.

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@roger,

Maybe it isn't unique. I don't remember...

;-)

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@Seizan,

How odd. I remember things you never thought about saying.

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@roger,

Ha! I can remember things BEFORE they happen -- then when they don't happen I can STILL remember them.

Uhh... what was the question...?

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@Seizan,

I can make Roxanne turn off her red light just by walking down her block.

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@tsarstepan,

I can clear a huge stadium just by singing

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@Sturgis,

I know how to empty an elevator really fast...

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@Seizan,

I know how to sing terribly as the only person in the choir that showed up for the funeral mass. I think the organist jumped up the organ, good idea.
Those poor mourners.
This was a long time ago, but I'm still sorry.

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@ossobucotemp,

ossobucotemp wrote:

I know how to sing terribly as the only person in the choir that showed up for the funeral mass. I think the organist jumped up the organ, good idea.
Those poor mourners.
This was a long time ago, but I'm still sorry.

If it makes you feel any better, you can sing at my funeral, I won't mind.

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@Krumple,

Ok, me too, but this is all unlikely.. plus I forget the words, even though I was snappy at latin, miserable voice.

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Here's something I never told anyone before...

I see live people.

They're everywhere. And most of them don't even know they're alive...

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@Seizan,

Seizan wrote:

Here's something I never told anyone before...

I see live people.

They're everywhere. And most of them don't even know they're alive...

That sounds creepy and scary, how do you handle it?

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I can stand at a bus stop and get one bus after another to drive on by...as long as I am looking in the opposite direction.

Strange thing is they never seem to respond to me waving frantically once they've passed. I guess I can alter their visual abilities too.

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My Mom could put whole rooms full of people to sleep simply by opening the Magic Book of Baby Photos...

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I've been known to make it rain buckets of rain when people are planning an outdoor event.

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I once had the honor of holding the seat of the Presidency of the United States -- for about ten seconds, then I had to put it back at the desk when the tour guide called two big burly guards over to haul me away...

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I can lip-read any language in the world. I just don't understand a single word of it.

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I can't hear my wife telling me to vacuum the floor, wash the dishes, or do the laundry -- but I can hear a lost kitten several sugar cane fields away.

And I always manage to rescue it. Even at 3AM.

This is real...

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Useless Superpowers

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