24
   

Useless Superpowers

 
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 06:58 am
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:

nobody seen Cool Hand Luke?

I have. I'm just not a fan.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 07:18 am
I can eat fifty M&Ms.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 08:24 am
@edgarblythe,
I can watch people eating 50 M&Ms. I prefer Reese Pieces (though I haven't eaten either candy for years).
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 09:28 am
@Seizan,
Seizan wrote:

I can leave without slamming the door behind me...


I can leave without letting the door hit me in the the ass on the way out.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 09:29 am
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:

nobody seen Cool Hand Luke?


Seen it here Boss!
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 02:39 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

farmerman wrote:

I can eat 50 hardboiled eggs.


While singing the Plastic Jesus song?




0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 02:39 pm
@tsarstepan,
I can think chocolate.

And I can hindcast the weather with 100% accuracy.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Feb, 2017 08:08 pm
Just discovered...

I can walk right through thin air and vanish completely in pitch-black darkness.

My photo can kill flies (when it's taped to a flyswatter), and I know secret fish stuff...
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Feb, 2017 08:32 pm
I can slow down the growth of my fingernails.
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Feb, 2017 08:38 pm
Hell, I can cause the best tasting food in the world to turn into the most foul smelling stuff imaginable . . . though sometimes not without great effort.
Krumple
 
  0  
Reply Tue 28 Feb, 2017 01:13 am
@Glennn,
I was reminded this morning of a super power I had forgotten about. Maybe taking it for granted.

My feet, toes usually can always seem to catch corners of table or chair legs. Shoes seem to be kryptonite though for this ability.
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Feb, 2017 02:45 am
@Krumple,
Deadly Delayed Head Pain: I can make your head hurt the morning after you drink a simple magic fluid...
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Mar, 2017 06:22 pm
I have Super Teaching Power. I once taught a brick how to play the piano. That's right -- a brick! I taught it to play "Mary has a Little Lamb".

Well ... it got all the notes right, anyway. Not in order mind you, but all the notes were played.

Smart brick.

OK, they all got played at once. But they got played...

OK, OK! I dropped the brick on the piano and it hit all the keys required at the same time. OK, happy?

If it was your 1-year-old grandson, you'd be crooning "Oh, Look! He's PLAYING the piano!" But a brick...? NOOooo...! You wouldn't be proud of a brick, WOULD you...?

So -- my brick is as smart as an average 1-year-old kid at playing the piano. And I taught it.

How's THAT for a Super Teaching Power?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Mar, 2017 07:31 pm
@Seizan,
I can temporarily keep from throwing up due to motion sickness while watching Cloverfield by closing my eyes for a minute or two. Also includes the side power of regret that I also ate too much of chicken and rice from the local gyro takeout place 4 minutes away from my apartment.
Krumple
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Mar, 2017 08:38 pm
@tsarstepan,
tsarstepan wrote:

I can temporarily keep from throwing up due to motion sickness while watching Cloverfield by closing my eyes for a minute or two. Also includes the side power of regret that I also ate too much of chicken and rice from the local gyro takeout place 4 minutes away from my apartment.


Rollercoasters must be your rival.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 12:22 am
My granddaughter told me she can count to potato.

I can hear in color. I understand the Poobah once sat facing a stone wall for 7 years listening to the brown screaming...
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 10:18 am
@Seizan,
Quote:
I once taught a brick to play the piano!


That's nothing. I taught a brick perfect manners and it sits silently during important speeches.

I also taught it to hold its breath under water...it can stay submerged for days, even weeks at a time and come out unscathed.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 10:30 am
@Sturgis,
I can ignore video ads on one browser tab by switching to another browser tab and fudging around over there while the ads play on until the video I'm watching starts back up again.
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 06:09 pm
@tsarstepan,
I can make cannolis magically disappear
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 06:23 pm
I have X-ray vision, but it only works on watermelons, and only to see rifles or army tanks. That's right, I can see if there is a rifle or a tank hidden inside a watermelon.

It has been known to work on butternut squash occasionally.

I am trying to get the DC movie scriptwriters to work that into the next Superman movie, but so far no response. I think maybe it's just too awesome and they are sitting in shock over the idea...
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Oddities and Humor - Discussion by edgarblythe
Let's play "Caption the Photo" II - Discussion by gustavratzenhofer
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
Funny Pictures ***Slow Loading*** - Discussion by JerryR
Caption The Cartoon - Discussion by panzade
Geek and Nerd Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Caption The Cartoon Part Deux - Discussion by panzade
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
2008 Election: Political Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
 
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.08 seconds on 12/01/2024 at 12:14:40