Calling all mistresses (and men too)

I am the Other Woman and have been for years with a married man.

He is married with one child and one on the way. I am 27 he is 30. We have been doing this on and off for 9 years but always seemed to be not talking when we were single and we got bak in touch when he was with his then girlfriend - she got pregnant and he felt like he had to marry her as she was religious

He tells me he does not love her he loves me - to be fair although I do love him I dont quite buy it but he assures me that he totally plans on leaving her for me and wants nothing more than for us to be together -(but again im not sure if I buy it - its not like I went into this situation blindly)

Ive been in a bit of a quandry as to what to do on the one hand love him on the other this seems like a lot of hassle for no reward

Wow, that's really familiar. Mine started in college, there were a few times when we were both single, but for some reason, didn't want to commit. Then he was married, went back and divorced his wife, but we lost track of each other for awhile.

The kids complicates things, would you want to be a stepmother?

I'm lucky to make it barefoot out of the kitchen or the laundry, to say nothing of the quandry.

I wish all come to the end as you wish.
Best of all.
You are lucky no one yet ganged up on you! I think people here are getting tired of writing clichés...LOL

Let them! Bring it on. No one's perfect!

Wrong! We have some 'saints' here who are without sin.
You will meet them...LOL

oh I have! Their loss, to see life so narrowly. I'll go for reality every time!

The thing about affairs is that there's just so much lying, deceit, betrayal, unhappiness, pain, hurt, shame, guilt, and so on and so forth.

Apart from the sex and the way the person makes you feel, there's nothing left but an empty barrel of regret.

If people feel entitled to have an affair, they should be willing to take whatever it brings. You must take the good with the bad as you can't have it all, that's the reality.

Affairs are always good...until they're not.

I never married, and sometimes married women have fluttered their eyelashes at me but I've never taken up with them because I'm simply not interested in other mens wives, boy am I weird..

See, this kind of blanket statement is the king of thing I don't buy in to. I will never be left with "an empty barrel of regret". Every situation is different and not all end badly.

And I do accept whatever will happen. Its called life.

good for you. why are you even posting here?

@Tiger81

You don't have to buy it but it's the truth,

You accept whatever will happen in life? Good! I hope that acceptance comes when your guy starts cheating on you too right? You can't complain if he steps out on you because it's life.

You can't just say everyone will react the same way. That's ridiculous.

If he does, then he does. And that will be on him, not me.

Good luck with your perfect world. Its people like you that make others not want to post.

@Tiger81
No, what i am trying to say (and believe me when i say that i am not saying this to attack you). If you say life is not black and white, i agree with you. What i am also saying is that you can't change your tune when your guy stabs the knife in your back and cheats on you...and he will because almost all of them always do.

You can dress it up however way you like, but the fact still remains that affairs are a destruction to everyone involved. No one escapes the pain and the lifelong and almost irreparable damage they cause.

All this because you want to fall or be in love? Is that the price you're willing to pay to get it? If it is, kudos to you...it's your life.

There are just some of us who wouldn't go that route because we're aware that affairs are not worth the excruciating pain they inflict on those involved.

Darling! How about our pain, those who are waiting for years and hurt as well?
Arent we people too? Do we want this love to be? Don't we wish it was poof and gone one day so we can wake up free of heart ache?
HOW do we achieve that if we unable to breathe without?
There is always way? I am looking for this way for years.
Tiger is looking for this way for decades...
What is yur story and if you had achieved freedom once in your life - please teach. Share. We are listening with most attention.

There are just some of us who wouldn't go that route because we're aware that affairs are not worth the excruciating pain they inflict on those involved?

If you can reason with yourself to do so - not to go this route - I am afraid you had not loved. You though you did but you didn't. Sorry but it is my sure opinion. Prove me wrong please.

'The thing about affairs is that there's just so much lying, deceit, betrayal, unhappiness, pain, hurt, shame, guilt, and so on and so forth.'

No there isn't. There is someone on the other end who makes person to be unhappy, neglected and thus looking for someone else. Those people are all for status 'I am married' and nothing else. They don't give back. But in case of divorce they want it all. Yes, they are wonderful partners. NOT!
Men (most) wouldn't look for an affair if they are happy at home.
Too much trouble.
And A LOT of them don't until some eyes meet and firework explodes!

How old are you and what have you lived trough?

Do the have 'married' stamp on their forehead?
I have no ring. So how would you know?
And we aren't talking **** and run here. We are talking years of loving.
I am sure you have NO idea...

I m sorry but you are so cliché as they exists.
Her guy will not be cheating on her because it is not case here.
They had been since college and she is 50 now.
He is loving her. All these years. She does as well. there are some
reason they can't be yet.
Not everyone cheats because they are serial cheaters.
I never did and not planning on because for 23 years I had never laid an eye on
another man and I had 200 of men around me. I saw this one and died. And if I wont have him I wont have anyone. he is the same. We are just playing waiting game. But no, you just want to be miss perfect?
Hope that brick will never fall on your head. But there is no guarantee. Trust me. I wasn't looking for it.