23
   

Calling all mistresses (and men too)

 
 
Leadfoot
 
  2  
Reply Tue 23 May, 2017 06:28 am
@Lulubelle65,
Quote:
that there's a vacancy for her previous position isn't without foundation.
That's always true whether you know or like it.

No one single person can be everything , to you or anyone
Lulubelle65
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 May, 2017 01:55 am
@Leadfoot,
Quite...
chirchri
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 May, 2017 09:43 pm
Just gotta be yourself , life is so short .
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 May, 2017 01:46 pm
@Lulubelle65,
Quote:
Quite...

You and Tiger don't actually like men do you..

I don't blame you much, if I had to believe in the socially acceptable roles for men, women, families, etc. I'd probably hate women
Lulubelle65
 
  2  
Reply Tue 30 May, 2017 11:15 am
@Leadfoot,
Leadfoot, some of my closest friends are male. I actually think they make better chums because the element of feminine competitive envy is removed. Admittedly, a few of my male chums are gay, but generally my missive is not gender specific, more about plain old fashioned common decency.
Tiger81
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 May, 2017 12:01 pm
@Lulubelle65,
Mine too, I am most definitely not a man hater. I
0 Replies
 
Decipher
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 06:07 am
@Tiger81,
@tiger81
I just ended an affair with a married man around a month back. He’s 37, married with a kid and I’m 32 single. I am currently quite confused as I don’t know how should I deal with this. Part of me wants to leave but part of me still love him. I don’t understand why would he want to do this since he seems to be in a loving relationship with his wife.
0 Replies
 
ruflol
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 May, 2018 05:11 pm
Hi , Im an ex other woman
this is my story from the now

I got a shocking call from my ex married man yesterday. He broke it off after christmas 2016 after claiming he was born again ( we dated for 2years and 2 months). This was 3months before i had enough, i was emotionally and psychologically drained by his poor treatment of me and broke up with him, he came back begging & some way we ended up bk together. So when he broke up in 2016 , i finally told his wife physically and not by telephone to keep it final and apologized sincerely for all the pain i had caused because i had been feeling so guilty all the while and it was my mantra never to date a married man before then(went against my values because i was weak when i met him, i had just come out from an abusive relatonship) and was so wrong for having anything to do with her man. It was a messy day and i told him never to contact me again and blocked all hs lines on my phone. (Its a really long and complicated story but this is just the brief)

Well yesterday after about 1 year and 4 months, i get a phone call, turned out to be him, he called to apologize for all the horrible way he treated me. Quite frankly, the apology was not sincere and you could sense the arrogance in his voice. He started off by saying could i remember i had called to apologize to him after dday and he didnt listen which i said i never did and would do no such thing, he then said it was not easy for him to call me but he just had to and that he was sorry. I said its ok but i have moved on with my life and dropped the call. I have since blocked his number again and plan on having nothing whatsoever to do with him or any other married guy. When i realised it was him, i had a quick rush of anger in my head, i almost wanted to be so rude and tell him off but i felt that would be too much power to give to someone who did not matter anymore so i kept my cool, heard the nonsense he had to say, cut the call and block the number he called with.

I have grown from extremely loving this guy back then to hating everything he did to me including him.My brain is much more clear now as to what i want and need in my life and it is certainly not him. I was there for him financially which included making funds available to pay tuition fee for hs kids and for maintaining his business activities, emotionally, gave business ideas, physically etc. I was his go to girl when he needed someone to help, i was always there (which when i think of it now he was just using me).

My life is so much better ever since i told his wife to ensure it was final , when we broke up i went through hell emotionally and psychologically and i am not about to do myself a disservice by allowing him back in. Im doing well, passing all my professional exams (which i never did while with him), discovering myself and accepting myself with so much love. why call after a year and 4 months when i have moved on? It reminds me of the fact that this guy has no respect for his wife or would he for any lady. So no, i do not miss him or anything he has to say. He was horrible to me.

Maybe he has started having issues in his marriage again and is looking for an escape knowing i was always there, maybe he is bored with his life again, maybe he was trying to make a point to his friends or perhaps is looking for friendship. who knows and who cares? But i am definitely not going to wait to find out.

I wonder why they never go away..... but this girl aint missing no one or giving chances.
0 Replies
 
purone
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 May, 2018 01:13 pm
I just posted a new topic from my A that just ended Friday. I am very upset and frazzled as to what actually transpired. Out of the blue, I received an email from him ending it. I am besides myself right now!
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 May, 2018 09:52 am
@Leadfoot,
Quote:
@Lulubelle65,
Lulubelle65 said:
Quite...

Leadfoot replied:
You and Tiger don't actually like men do you..

I don't blame you much, if I had to believe in the socially acceptable roles for men, women, families, etc. I'd probably hate women


Funny, I just noticed this.

Belatedly I must apologize to Lulubelle, I mistakenly read your response to me as 'Quiet' instead of 'Quite'. I thought you were trying to shut me up.
0 Replies
 
Petervon
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jun, 2018 10:29 pm
@Tiger81,
Hi

My second name is Peter, my first name is too unique. I have quite a story.

Pert 1.

I had an emotional affair for 2 years, sexual at the beginning and near the end but then it all stopped. How did it stop? She made it clear that we were only friends, but then said things like she loved me and wanted to marry me but then contradicted herself by saying she wanted to marry someone else. Yes, I was confused too. I then ended it thinking I'd rather not hear about that someone else. We then became distant friends.

Part 2

Months later, I have a new lover and she still has hers. Me thinking we were just friends I asked for some womanly advice about my new lover, she then flies into a jealous rage. WTF? But she said we were just friends, I thought she'd be ok. Isn't that what friends are for? I then offer to reacquaint our affair, she says no.

Part 3

We are both married to others, she is 46, me 47. My new lover is 42, she is also married. Her man has decided he is gay so she wants me because he gets no satisfaction from her despite her being near the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Part 4

I love my wife and do not want to hurt her as she has given me 3 beautiful children. I have always taken care of her and the kids and have provided her a stable home. The thing is, we are so different. I married her in the church but now I've been an atheist for 10 years we are so apart. We are married 22 years, at 20 years I started my first affair, now just started the second.
I was a novice the first time so the wife found out, I'm more confident this time but of course I'm still concerned. I asked my wife for permission to have an affair, she strongly disagreed. I later said I did mean to ask.
I cannot leave her because my youngest is 12, he needs Daddy. My 20 year old boy and him will always be on Mum's side if we were to part, where my 18 year old daughter will be on mine.
I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, yet my emotional and sexual needs are not being met. I have tried counselling, etc, but I know we are so different. As I said, I cannot leave her but also for the fact she still wants me.

Holy hell, what a **** situation I'm in.

Pull me apart or advise me, please.

Thank you

Peter
arealtruefeeling
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Jan, 2019 10:33 am
This whole affair situation is unique for everyone, but has a lot of obvious similarities - it's a shared attraction that can't be fully acted on for various reasons. I've read several posts about how complicated an affair is and I'm in an understanding position because I currently desire to have an affair, and have made some mistakes in the effort. But, also because my current marriage resulted from an affair. The marriage is good, but uninspiring and rote.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Feb, 2019 09:41 am
@Petervon,
Long after you asked, but you need to stop thinking about divorce as a forbidden solution. I was caught in that trap myself for only a little less time than you have.

And have you discussed your change in theistic beliefs with your wife? I give you credit for being honest with her about needing someone else. I would only advise you not to just transfer your need onto another. My own take on what is wrong with society is that it does not face the reality that one relationship does not fill anyone's need for emotional intimacy. We want more, and I don't mean just more sex; that is the really fucked up thing here. Intimacy is not equivalent to sex and this society thinks it is.
0 Replies
 
NACHOFUNNYMAN
 
  0  
Reply Mon 11 Mar, 2019 01:12 pm
@Tiger81,
The only life lesson I ever remember my dad giving me was "you are going to get married and you are going to cheat, only cheat with someone who has as much to lose as you do." I have been on both sides, I married 2 serial cheaters. I have been with married women. When I was younger I used to think if they are going to cheat it might as well be me. As I got older I actually turned down married women. Actually told one who came on to me pretty hard to call her husband. I think people are only as unfaithful as their best options. If the right option is given most people will take it. For a typical guy it will be a woman who has more sexual appeal than his wife, or who shows the promise of doing something his wife will not or does not do, limited risk factors. There are variables. After my first wife cheated on me I stayed for the kids and our sex life was never great. I was the other guy with I think 4 or 5 married women a couple of separated and a couple of single women. It was only about the sex. It was usually passionate, exciting sex that you only get in the beginning of a relationship. I was addicted to it. My second wife was a different story. She was perfect. Then she had an emotional affair. See what happens.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Mar, 2019 07:35 am
Hmm.. There really are different approaches to life
0 Replies
 
FlyingZephyr
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Mar, 2019 12:40 pm
@NACHOFUNNYMAN,
What happened? Are you and the 2nd wife still together?

My affair continues, it works for me. And until it doesn't work for one of us, it will continue on.
0 Replies
 
 

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