@Eliusa,
Quote:Trust me, talked more than I should had and sometimes still talking, but more keeping silent because I am dead inside waiting for something to happen and will resolve itself.
Maybe he will tell you to go ahead...
@Olivier5,
No, he wouldn't tell me to go ahead, but he would be ok not knowing.
@sally27 ,
I'm sorry but I agree with GermIat.
I've been cheated on and I've been hurt. I know how much damage it does. The fact that you're a repeat offender irks me. How could you marry such a good man knowing in your heart that you're just going to find someone else and leave?
You, are a bad person.
@Tv123,
Well, I don't think she knew he wasn't the one at that point...but once she did she continued and proceeded to cheat. And now--the semester has ended and she still hasn't told him....see it's about convenience for herself and when it's best for her. He has lost all his rights in that relationship.
@sally27 ,
So the person you're seeing now knows your married but is seeing you anyways? He sounds like another **** head to me.
You're afraid to leave because you've got "mutual friends "? I'll let you know now that almost all of them will leave you when they hear the story. I can tell you from personal experience that being unfaithful to a good man is frowned upon even by your closest friends.
@Tv123,
Yep, lets put labels on everybody.
Have you ever thought why were you cheated on? Just curious to know if you
have ever found your fault in this?
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
The marriage ceremony is the situation with the vows.
Getting engaged can be exciting. There is room in between that and the vows.
Personally, we had a tiny cheap wedding after living in our mutually owned house for a few years; after it, the few of us went out for Chinese food, and the next day we threw a party.
Me, I think some people get trapped in early enthusiasm plus some fair level of financial ceremony debt.
I love how she gets to decide what's best for both of them. He has no rights to be a participant anymore? She decides what's best for them both? Sorry--- as uncomfortable as it may be...they are BOTH in that relationship.
@Eliusa,
It's outrageous that you're defending and excusing this behavior.
@Tv123,
Tv123 wrote:
It's outrageous that you're defending and excusing this behavior.
I think he/she is an adolescent catfishing.
@Germlat,
I do agree with that, that they are both in the marriage relationship, and therefore he has a legitimate interest in knowing about it and dealing with it.
I'm mixed on the ways of the world and don't think spouses (never mind daters/lovers) own each other.
A tricky mix, since I am for information at some point.
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
I do agree with that, that they are both in the marriage relationship, and therefore he has a legitimate interest in knowing about it and dealing with it.
I'm mixed on the ways of the world and don't think spouses (never mind daters/lovers) own each other.
A tricky mix, since I am for information at some point.
I don't think anyone owns anyone....but it is necessary to be honest as to where one is. Doesn't everyone deserve to know where one is?
@Germlat,
I think there is a time variant, while the one with the new love works it out, as results may vary. Resolution can happen without a confessional. Or, not.
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
I think there is a time variant, while the one with the new love works it out, as results may vary. Resolution can happen without a confessional. Or, not.
Who decides where he time variant is?
@Germlat,
How do I know? People vary all over the place.
If you are talking about our poster, it seems overly long for them to talk, but it's not really my business.
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
How do I know? People vary all over the place.
If you are talking about our poster, it seems overly long for them to talk, but it's not really my business.
Doesn't it make it your business if it's public ? It's not like one is interfering with a process. Someone made it public...so they are welcoming the attention.
@Germlat,
Arguably it does, as do a zillion online posts from everyone typing, but there is this oddness - we know about this but the husband either doesn't or ignores it.
I've no plan to invade that, even with my opinion, whatever it is (I probably did already) - it's their thing to deal with.
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
Arguably it does, as do a zillion online posts from everyone typing, but there is this oddness - we know about this but the husband either doesn't or ignores it.
I've no plan to invade that, even with my opinion, whatever it is (I probably did already) - it's their thing to deal with.
I'm sure the husband hasn't a clue he's being cheated on or otherwise... Not your fault or mine....no plan to invade? I'm sure all the dude cares about is if she's faithful....not about us really is it?
At least there are no children involved, and getting out of a marriage at 27 is much better than the mess that's left after a marriage of 35 years. My husband's cousin was informed by her husband he didn't love her anymore, needed a trial separation, but had already set himself up in a townhouse about 30 miles away. For 2 years she worked on improving her appearance, going on 'dates' with hubby. Her daughter is married and will not speak to her father, and her son finished college , is working in banking, doesn't talk to Dad either. I think Dad is OK, he got her to file and the marriage is now kaput. I'm talking about a couple in their 60's wasting time pretending to salvage the marriage.
Just get it cleaned up, do the right thing for your husband and your boyfriend. Start getting ready for some blowback from his family, he needs advice just as you do, so please don't ask him to keep this between you and him, you already have a boyfriend and pitching your case here. Give your husband the same consideration. He will need his friends and family. You said he's a great guy, let him find comfort the way he needs to be comforted.
@Germlat,
No.
It isn't about us. Maybe the thread has turned there, as it can seem so.
I do throw out my opinions, but I'm not judging, mostly..
@Germlat,
You are? You know the guy? He might be just trying to survive. I might even bet that.
