Question to married men who have anothe woman

Yeah...I see why your husband can't get a hard-on.

How can you SEE anything?

I have to charge you and Beth for entertainment.
What would you do right at the moment if I wasn't here? )

We'd probably trying to help another idiot figure out they're throwing away a good life.

By saying that...I am always wondering all of you happily in relationships people here - why instead of wasting HOURS here wouldn't you go and do something happy with your loved spouses?

Because I don't need someone to worship me 24/7. I can amuse myself independently. He's by my side now...reading while I play around on this thread.

Your flame is probably giving his wife an orgasm.

LOL, you better go and give your reader an orgasm, but somehow I am sensing you don't want to.

I get what I need...I don't need to take it simply because it's available....what about your flame? I bet his wife is moaning.

I got it. You so want to be ME! You are jealous because you forgot what it is - burn with love and being ALIVE!!!!!!!!
And yes, as sexy as he is you would be moaning by just looking at him...LOL
so I suppose she IS.

I never was in that situation, having been by and large faithful. I would venture that such a man (or woman, some do that too) doesn't want to upset something he holds dear to in his legit family--kids more often than not. The desire to not upset his kids' life by a divorce I mean.

Yeah ...you're happy and so is your flame. He has a wife and a mistress...and you're happy to play second banana. Sounds to me like he found a desperate enough, mouth breathing idiot to be content at that proposition.

I think it is the first valid point I see here for a while or ever.
We both do not want to hurt anybody. This is why we are taking day at the time and staying good friends and figuring out what to do.

Eliusa.



You "think" your husband is happy. Go back to what we read.

"You talk like a baby, eweee, I don't want sex with you, you are not a man", Yes that is pretty much what you have told him.

"Well I will have to have an affair" Yes, that is pretty much what you have told him.

So tell me how your husband is happy?: How there is no harm to him?

If two people are committed and state the same, you have no rights to have any affair. You are committed.

You are being very childish, down right childish, in a fictitious dream and fantasy. Seriously.. How can your husband be happy? From finances? Cooking? He has his child living with him? But he knows his wife wants to cheats and talks down to him about his sexuality?

Stop defending and be real for once, you can see that we talk to real people that aren't in a self centred world of their own.

How can I explain it to you?
My husband is a very happy with himself as a person. It is not easy to let him down. Even if I tell him I do not like what you doing - he is pretty much thinks it is my problem, not his. Though he is a very soft and gentle man. He is not cocky at all. But when it comes to critisizm of his anything - he is just dismissing it like if I say I told you 100 times I don't like it. He would say - never heard that before.
So I do not think he is even giving a thought to my 'I will have an affair'. Mostly maybe because I was always honest and never hid anything from him and we are good friends.
Yes, he is happy because he doesn't think much about things. He needs his comfort zone where he is now and he is happy.
I am bouncing off the walls and he has no idea.
I am sleeping on a couch for days and he is not showing any signs of curiousity why? In the morning we talk and he says 'have you fell asleep on a couch?' and I go 'yeahh' and we go ahead with routine.
And when you said
But he knows his wife wants to cheats and talks down to him about his sexuality?
my responce is - it had happened 10 then 5 years ago. It is all flew by and forgotten.
I am pretty sure if I had an affair but kept him in his comfort zone he wouldn't give a damn. Unless he finds out. Then it is going to hurt his pride. Mostly that he was cheated on, not that I had cheated.

I am sure you are very experienced and knowleadgeable person but you have to step back and think that even you don't know everything. No one does. And when you 'quoting' me like
You talk like a baby, eweee, I don't want sex with you, you are
is a mis-quoting because I had never said that. I was respectfully telling him I do not like it. In return in a few months he would say 'never heard that'.
But thanks for your input anyway.

You've been with him a long time, you can judge his character. But, can you know deep down inside, "really" how he may feel. Perhaps as a man, he shrugs things off on the outside, perhaps he pretends to know that you "fell asleep on the lounge" but inside he knows that you didn't want to sleep in the same bed.

Perhaps when he finds out, all the things he is hiding inside because "people do that", will come to the surface of his mind and he will think back and know all those "thoughts" he dissed were real and then what?

See if you feel he shrugs things off, then tell him you are in your prime, not happy, but this stud of a guy wants to give it to you, at least you told him right?

You say you are climbing the walls, sleeping on a couch, "think" that as he's a gentle soul if he found out he will only be upset as he was cheated on, not that you cheated. But gentle souls tend to have even more feelings when they come to the surface. I'm not sure Eliusa, if he would not be upset that you cheated you are playing with a full deck of cards and only one needs to fall out of place. You are assuming that he would remain with you, be hurt and feel cheated on but that won't matter because you don't sleep with him anyway you are just friends.

What if he doesn't remain with you? The whole entire family find out, your children.

What if you hurt him so much in his heart and you never realised, you "thought" he'd get over it like everything else?

What if he wants sex, love and not just a friend after all he's how old 50 as well? Plenty of time to find a beautiful love, not just a friendship.

You're a dreamer. You sleep at night on the couch as if you are doing the right thing by this man, not sleeping with your husband. Your husband is sleeping in a bed, waking up and thinking, my wife doesn't love me anymore. You are pretending you just fell asleep you can't keep doing that. People are not stupid, they really aren't especially a "good friend" a good friend can tell in the eyes, the way you dress when you go out, walk.

I think you may be under estimating the emotions of your husband, now and later. I really do.

It's evident you wear the pants here. But kind souls, gentle souls, well they will feel the pain just like a manly man will/does... Yet, if you just walked even for a few months, got this out of your system or realised it was in-deed love, then either way, you were separated, you walked to clear your head and mind and other from all of this, I don't quite see that as cheating but it will give you both the chance to see what you really want in life, love and friendship or sex and friendship because your husband obviously loves you.

Eliusa, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for illustrating how everyone treats me, as you treat them.

Taste of their own medicine. Keep on being envious and impervious to criticism. See where that takes you, because it's certainly aiding me.

Sorry but I didn't get a bit of what you just said. If you care to elaborate I will care to read.

Oh, my! Thanks for this. I am going to re-read it and see if it makes me feel different. but why ta heck he wouldn't take Cialis if he wants to be sexual with me? I am tired of begging. I am just tired.
Which man wouldn't understand that if wife told him its time to start it anew and gave him all the hints and medicine wouldn't even try???
It pisses me off so much that I am feeling free to go do what I want. Darn!

Do you have a personal email I could contact you at? Forums are great but I'd prefer not to publish all my trash!

See...the problem is you don't like your options. Lack of sex in a good reliable loving friendship, cheating ( which you've already done...or ending your marriage and giving everyone a chance for happiness...So, you remain stagnant and unable to make a decision (5 years) You want the right set of circumstances, but they're not appearing . Would you rather live out your life like this?