28
   

This is the really GOOD Jokes Thread...

 
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Jun, 2018 06:44 pm

https://i.imgur.com/ZKjplwn.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  4  
Reply Fri 17 Aug, 2018 08:32 am

A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer
who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.

So the guy goes out to his car. He looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't
have one, but he sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk.

In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable-looking knot,
and lets the ends dangle free.

He goes back to the restaurant. The bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then
says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in... just don't start anything."

***
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  4  
Reply Tue 9 Oct, 2018 07:39 am

An old physician, Doctor Geezer, became bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put up a sign that said: "Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this
would be a great opportunity to make a fast $1,000, and went to Dr. Geezer's clinic...

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: ''Aaagh! -- This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money...

Dr. Young: "Doc, I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that's Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young, after having lost $1000, leaves angrily and comes back after several more days...

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 bill).

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

***
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  5  
Reply Wed 10 Oct, 2018 06:06 pm
Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the
dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out
into a torrential down pour. The wind was blowing 50 mph.

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad
throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my
wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 20 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped fishing.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Sun 14 Oct, 2018 07:19 am

http://i65.tinypic.com/262wqd2.jpg
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Oct, 2018 05:31 pm
@Region Philbis,
It's already been seen. Ho Chi Minh and Mao are visible through glass. Have seen both of them.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Oct, 2018 05:37 pm
@cicerone imposter,
For most of us, that remains to be seen. We need to see the remains.
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Sun 4 Nov, 2018 03:45 pm

https://i.imgur.com/YkRnbOp.jpg
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 4 Nov, 2018 04:39 pm
@roger,
You have a good point. They look waxy. I'm not the only person who thinks so. https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g293924-d311064-r156036868-Ho_Chi_Minh_Mausoleum-Hanoi.html. I did a little research and found that the Russians found a way to improve embalming to make the dead look younger. When I'm gone from this world, I instructed my wife to have me cremated and tossed into the Pacific Ocean. In that way, I will continue to travel on this planet.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  5  
Reply Wed 28 Nov, 2018 01:09 pm

https://i.imgur.com/GkKk4eD.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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