@Roberta,
Roberta wrote:
Is this the GOOD jokes thread? Confused. Or maybe it's just a matter of taste.
Well...some of them are.....
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked them.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then," said the lawyer.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children," the second man answered.
"Bring them as well."
They all climbed into the limousine - no easy task - and one of the poor fellows said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
"No problem," said the lawyer, "The grass in my yard is about two feet tall."
Man: "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice. How can I help her to get it back?
Doc: "Try coming home at three in the morning."
Job Interviewer: "What is your greatest weakness?"
Old Man: "Honesty."
Job Interviewer: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
Old Man: "I don't really give a shite what you think..."
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The
only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all
the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he
couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West
Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight
into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the
coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his
mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won
the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of
my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your
two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I
have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The
old lady pauses, and then tearfully says..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!
***
What Roberta said on page one. How is this thread in any way different from the Really Bad Jokes thread. Maybe I just don't get it.
@Region Philbis,
Region Philbis wrote:
Job Interviewer: "What is your greatest weakness?"
Old Man: "Honesty."
Job Interviewer: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
Old Man: "I don't really give a shite what you think..."
I believe I posted that joke on the Really Bad Jokes thread already, some weeks back.
@Lustig Andrei,
Lustig Andrei wrote:
Region Philbis wrote:
Job Interviewer: "What is your greatest weakness?"
Old Man: "Honesty."
Job Interviewer: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
Old Man: "I don't really give a shite what you think..."
I believe I posted that joke on the Really Bad Jokes thread already, some weeks back.
If you did...it was great there also.
I laughed my ass off.
Can't wait to tell it to my boss.
@Lustig Andrei,
hopefully less groans, more chuckles here...
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
I’m excited to see you too!
Which trigonometric functions do farmers like?
Swine and cowswine.
@vonny,
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange juice.
Orange juice who?
Orange juice gonna laugh?
