Huh?

Well, that is very kind of you, but I think you're giving me a bit too much credit. You didn't hear what I screamed at my husband a few times after we got home. I have never liked this guy, but his wife is a saint. A Truly Good Person. (She'd have to be, to put up with him for 25+ years.) Anyway, they're really hubby's friends, not mine. So feel free to insult them. :wink:

THANK YOU! I WILL!!!!

mutter mutter mutter
i was just downstairs flinging laundry from the dryer to the folded pile, and from the washer to the dryer
mutter mutter mutter
i plot well when i'm laundering
mutter mutter mutter

So have hubby and pal figured out that they're going to be footing your bill for a nice little spa vacation?



If you said to hubby and to pal's wife that the one thing you would like is him to apologize to you - face to face - would they tell him, explain it's the very least he needs to do?

You know, he probably would have faced criminal charges here for what he did. He'd be gettin' off easy being asked to apologize.



Eva, what does your son think about all of this?

Hmmm. I think you're taking this harder than I am, ehBeth! Damn, I like you!!!

Yes, I will be taking a little vacation when this is over. Our money will pay for it. Hubby will just have to manage things around here and son's schedule while I am gone. It is the very least I deserve.

As for friend...a forced apology is no apology at all. It would mean less than nothing to me. If he's not a big enough man to apologize on his own, then he's not worth worrying about. F*ck him.

As for son...he's sorry I got hurt, but he knows it was an accident...no one meant for it to happen. 10-yr.olds have lots of accidents, you know, it's a big part of their world. And he did have a terrific time down there. He got to drive a boat for the very first time, shoot a .22 (small rifle) for the first time (skeet shooting), caught lots of fish, and all sorts of stuff he'd only heard about in Scouts. I think all of that actually made a bigger impression on him than one gun accidentally going off.

I think the original situation needs to be rectified so it doesn't happen to others, and that the failure to appreciated Eva's hearing loss is a blotch on those who don't, at the least. Even as temporary, it is a tremendous blow, physically and psychologically. If it is more than temporary, it is life changing. But I understand Eva's need for not hating a friend, and stepping back from going there, into contention, at least right now.

But, document, document.

I would like to be a fly on the wall in the mind of the friend who picked up the loaded ready gun, whether he should have noticed, whether he resents the person who left it, etc. Or a fly on the wall in the mind of the owner.

Eva--

Acquiring some stamina is a very good sign. One of life's few meaningful tautologies is that "Fatigue is Fatiguing." Fatigue also plays hell with inner serenity. This is bad for the ego.

You are in my thoughts. Hold your dominion.

Thanks for the update, Eva. You're in my thoughts every day. Do let us know what you learn from the ENT.

What's the word, bird?

I'll try not to get mad again. Promise.

Yeah, how's it going?

Remember that while we are of course relieved for you when there is good news, bad, so-so and the rest are welcomed, too. Or venting, venting is fine.

I remember that one feature of when I lost my hearing was I felt like people only wanted to know the good news, and grew weary of bad news. Not so here.

It's going about the same. I can't tell that there's been any change in the last coupla weeks, but who knows...will report back after seeing the audiologist on Tuesday.

Yeah, soz, some of my good friends have been asking about it regularly and are getting tired of me telling them nothing has changed. Thank you for understanding about that. And ehBeth...go right ahead and get mad all you want. It is cathartic for me when I read it. I get tired of being nice, too.

Went to church this morning for the first time since this all happened. I was sad that the usually wonderful music was just a chaotic mish-mash of sounds and static. And I couldn't sing along (which I normally LOVE to do.) What a waste. At least I could understand about 3/4 of the sermon. Enough to follow along, I think. That was better than I anticipated. Then I got out of there quickly as soon as it was over, as the sounds of everyone in the crowd talking at once made it really awful for me. All in all, NOT a great experience.

Right now my husband is at the zoo with our son and a friend of his. I declined to go because I can't keep up with what anyone's saying when they all talk at once. (And they do.) Then they're going to play laser tag at a very loud place. (I've been warned to stay away from such places.)

This is probably the hardest part of this. I often feel very isolated...left out of the fun that everyone else seems to be having. Know what I mean?

Oh yeah.

I still have a sign I made for myself when I was maybe 16 -- very fancy watercolors -- that said something like, "GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM!" It was a message to force myself to be in those frustrating, isolating experiences. They are legion.

Anyway, I know exactly what you mean. Though taking time to recharge is vitally important, too -- as a 16-year-old I had the luxury of staying in my room 18 hours out of 24 that you don't as someone with a career, husband, and child. Definitely be gentle with yourself.

Eva - you know we're here to vent to/at/about. One of the joys here - not too many of us are posting with other A2K'rs in the same room/block - you can be annoyed/peeved/furious/depressed and no one expects you to do anything else for them. (this is an interesting challenge Setanta and I face, when we are visiting each other)

I can testify to the difficulty of too many voices and sounds making things confusing. Yesterday, we had a little A2K get-together here in Toronto - and I've got to say it was the best one (for me) in a restaurant I've been to. The other restaurant meets I've been to - Salem, Tucson, Madison, the first Toronto one - had too much background noise for me. While it's lovely to meet people and smile back and forth - it is easier when you can actually understand them. I can remember getting back from the first Toronto get-together and wondering if anyone had understood anything anyone else said. It was lovely to be able to hear Wenchilina's voice - I'd already known her 'A2K voice', but her real, Texas-accented voice was wonderful.

So, my little inner-annoyed voice is annoyed that people don't appreciate what's been taken from you. Yes, the blast was annoying, and yes there was pain, but it's so much more. And whether it's been stolen from you for a number of weeks or months or longer - you've been ripped off - and that makes me mad.

God, I love you guys! Thank you SO MUCH!

Okay. Saw the audiologist today. They ran a full hearing screen, but didn't discuss the results with me (grrrrr....I WILL find out more!)

This doctor recommended "The Hearing Pill" which you suggested, sozobe! (I swear, you should be making money for this kind of advice. Really. Wait! No! I didn't mean from ME!!! What am I saying?!?!) However, he did say they don't know what the "window of rescue" is, and since it has been five or six weeks since the injury, it may be too late to gain any benefit, but he thinks it's still definitely worth trying. The only way to get it is to order it online. I have asked them to expedite the order (it normally takes 2-3 wks.) This is actually a dietary supplement that doctors have been recommending for other things for years, but it doesn't yet have FDA approval for this application. Clinical trials have just begun.

He also suggested a low salt diet for the next few months, to minimize fluid build-up in the ear, and 50 mg. of niacin 3x/day to increase blood flow to the ears to aid in healing. And he wants to see me back in six weeks. He is hopeful we may see some improvement by then.

I don't know about the low salt diet, though. That's asking a LOT from me.

I think I will check with my regular doctor tomorrow and see what he says. This new guy wasn't the doctor he referred me to...he's just the audiologist in that doctor's office. Apparently you don't get to see the "big guy" unless the audiologist thinks it's warranted. Hmph. Well, we'll just SEE about THAT.

Oh, that's not right. The audiologist-not-ENT thing. At least he knew about the hearing pill.

The not discussing results with you is stinky, too. WTF? It's a graph. It's not that complicated. Decibels on one axis, frequency on the other. For example, I say I have a 120 db loss, but I hear more low tones than high tones, so it's not a flat line across 120 db. The line starts higher on the left (low frequencies) and then dips lower and lower on the left (high frequencies.)

Hmmm. If you want any girl-gang-type moral support (or more specific than that -- I do have a master's degree in the field in addition to my personal experience), let us know. I'm sure you can take 'em on, though. What makes me uneasy is the time delay you mention.

I've done the low-salt diet thing, sucked. Mrs. Dash's was my friend. I was on 1,000 mg a day. Low sodium bread, yadda yadda. Sucked. (No idea if it helped or not, definitely don't want to discount it in your case.)

Diuretics, too? If so, avoid Diamox if you can.

I found out about the hearing pill here, great resource (I get a weekly newsletter):

http://www.hearinglossweb.com/

Good luck! Hugs!

Eva. I think you have every right and need to see the MD. Even sans insurance paying only if you are screened by an audiologist.
That would piss me off. I'd be a little persistent. I would want a specialist consultation at the least, and he could overview what the audiologist was outlining.

Signed,
One of the Girl Group.


Soz, I liked the link, sent for a newletter.

Actually, osso, the "audiologist" was an MD. Just lower on the office totem pole than the guy I was originally referred to. He may be very competent for all I know, but my regular doctor has spoiled me with great specialists through the years. I am accustomed to dealing with the best.

Don't worry about my persistence. I am one of those patients who doesn't give up until I get the answers I need. My regular doctor knows me quite well and never walks into the examining room to give me a diagnosis without bringing literature.

Yeah, soz, I've done the low-salt thing before. You're right, it sucks. Not sure I wanna put myself through that again unless I just have to. I'll see what my regular doctor says. No diuretics were prescribed. (Hmm. If fluid is a problem, why not? Another question to ask...thanks.) A masters degree in this?! Why am I not surprised? :wink:

Well, my master's is in Deaf Education -- we had to learn all of the medical side of it too, audiograms and speech bananas and such. (Not that I didn't already know, having gone through most of it.)

That's encouraging that your audiologist is an M.D., anyway. Still, I've never NOT talked to an ENT about an audiogram.

Definitely trust your persistence. :-) Go for it, ask any questions that occur, if I can't answer I might be able to get a resource for ya that does.

The diuretic thing might have had something to do with my eventual hearing loss, at least the diuretic that was used (Diamox), so it may be a good thing that it wasn't perscribed. (All of this is very uncertain, though... nobody has ever figured out why I became deaf, some recent research of mine has indicated that I might have taken ototoxic antibiotics which caused the inital problems, and then some of the treatments -- including Diamox -- may have been ototoxic themselves. But all conjecture at this point.)

Hey there...good news! I saw my regular doctor today. He says I've improved from 3 weeks ago. I thought maybe I had, but now I know for sure.

He said the low salt diet was a waste of time in my case (it's one of those "can't hurt" kinda things; he doesn't believe I have fluid build-up by now). He said the niacin is probably what will help most. I took a bottle of "the hearing pills" and info to see what he thought. He said it is a dietary supplement that has been used for a long time to increase absorbency of vitamins, so it may amplify the effect of the niacin. He is very encouraged by the progress since he tested me three weeks ago. He said I should be able to fly by August, so that means I will get a summer vacation after all.

It's a good day.