Huh?

Bless your heart, soz! I wanted to ask you about it, but I felt funny doing that because I know your hearing is even worse.

No, I didn't know you became deaf as a teenager. May I ask how? What was the cause? Did you have a good support system through it all? I would think that would be a very difficult age for you to have to deal with everything.

I'm going to look up some of the fact sheets on the site you linked. They do look helpful.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! {{{SMOOCH}}}

And thank you, too, BBB!!! That's some good information on tinnitus. I'm going to look up more on the web tomorrow. Hugs & smooches to you, too!

Oh, man... everybody's getting hugs and smooches but me.

Sorry you don't care for KC, SCoates. I love it and have close friends there. But don't worry, and don't get offended. I wasn't planning to invite you.

I'm only nominally offended.

Okay, SCoates, perhaps just one very quick shoulder-to-shoulder hug and I'll blow you a kiss...(poof)...

soz. my hearing is muchh better but I still get an attack of tinnitus once and a while. My ear will just start ringing for a few minutes then itll abate.

As far as the gun, as a gun owner, I think its inexcusable. Not to see that a hammer is already cocked is really damn inexcusable. How was this gun even stored? Wasnt there a case? The cylinder of a 44 comes right out and should be separated from the rest of the gun. Keeping it ready for gators may be ok while the other fella was there but to leave it lay like thhat, in a cabin , after he left, where someone can break in or a kid is playing and sees it. The 2 gun handlers should be outed to the gun club. Thats really a rookie thing to do
I can see why your ear is affected, that kind of a gun is a cannon.

Inexcusable.

Eva, ask away! I am thrilled to be useful to anyone, and this is actually something I know a lot about.

I had an OK-ish support system -- it started when I was 13, was all deaf by 18, so still living with my parents. They were good about the unconditional love part, but really wanted me FIXED. Enough of this can't-hear stuff, get hearing again already!

I'm in a rush so won't be as nuanced as I would like (more tomorrow), but if this is a definite thing, it's gonna be a tough process, and I don't want to minimize that. Get-through-able, of course, especially for a Goddess as mighty as yourself, but tough.

Anyway, no known cause -- docs were clueless at the time, my own fairly recent research has pointed to ototoxic antibiotics as a possible cause, exacerbated by the medicine I was given to "cure" what was originally sporadic periods of deafness between stretches of hearing fine. What actually happened was that my hearing fluctuated wildly with an overall trend downwards, then levelled off when I went off to college, stopped taking the "cure", and stopped thinking about what my db level was that day/hour/minute. Still a lot of frustration and anger until I started learning ASL at age 21.

And gotta get to bed! But more hugs, and happy to talk as much as you want to.

Eva !! Don't worry gorgeous - you will come through this with flying colors I am sure...

Meanwhile, it will give me an excuse to come even more closer to you when I am whispering sweet nothings in yr ear

Eva--

Obviously your hearing is more delicate than the hearing of the common clay (probably because of being attuned to the infinite).

From this day forth, let the common clay do their male bonding without you.

You're in my thoughts.

Oh, Eva, I'm so sorry this has happened to you! How awful. I sincerely hope things improve .... soon!

I cannot tell you how nice it is to be able to come here and know people care. Thank you all so much.

You know, the strange thing is...I always thought hearing loss meant things would be quieter. Hahaha! I hear everything...the hum of the central air conditioner, the buzzing of the refrigerator fan, every little tiny background noise is amplified. But voices (and other important stuff) are all static-y. Like listening to a radio that is close, but not on the station. The world is extremely noisy right now. The problem is that it is all "noise," not meaningful sounds. It can be maddening.

I got back from my big presentation this morning, ate some lunch and went to bed. I was exhausted. But the meeting went well. At least, I didn't hear any complaints! (hahaha) And now I have another big event to work on. A new project is always good.

Eva, yep, I know exactly what you mean about both -- the noisiness and the exhaustion. Little noises, especially low ones, that didn't bother anyone else really bothered me because they stood out.

The high tones are what take all of that formless noise and give it definition, and that's what you are missing right now. :-( Again, depending on a few things, hearing aids should help you really a lot. You're right about in the miracle range for hearing aids -- too much lower db loss and they don't do that well, too much higher and they aren't as necessary, but around there and they can be a lifesaver. I used to kiss my hearing aid before bed every night in gratitude.

The exhaustion is perhaps the main thing I remember from that time. It just takes a lot more work to get by, even if getting by is achievable. I still have things with my husband where I say something and he was half-reading the paper or something and says "What?", and I get irritated because he has that lovely sound going right into his ear, whole, without having to work to decode that sound AT ALL and he still can't put in the tiny bit of effort necessary. I need to remind myself that not everyone has a default mode of expecting to work to communicate.

New projects are good! You're showing a great combination of pragmatism and optimism here -- you seem to be handling this with a great deal of positivity, but without denying that this is just plain tough.

Big hug.

There is one upside to REALLY noticing the low rumbly sounds - you can hear/feel/sense a delivery truck coming from yonks away. It's paid off a couple of times, when I've needed to put the dogs upstairs before a delivery - I can wait until I heard the rumble - then I know I have about 2 minutes. People are sometimes startled by my ability to know when the truck's really close. Gotta search for the upside sometimes.

So THAT's why I'm so tired! I thought I was just using that as an excuse to sleep and get away from the noise, but you're right! That makes me feel much better. Thank you!!!

When it starts getting to me, I remind myself that this is DEFINITELY not the worst thing I've ever been through, and I've always come through. One of the best things about surviving TRULY awful stuff is that it gives you a better perspective. Unfortunately, once you've been through really bad stuff, people often assume that because you're strong, lesser obstacles will be no problem for you. But it doesn't work that way. Several of my best friends have just joked about this, because they know I've handled worse. They don't realize that sometimes...sometimes...laughing doesn't help. Thank you for understanding.

EhBeth -- I haven't noticed any signs of compensation yet, but I am definitely looking for them!!!

Oh, Eva, I just found this thread. You have my heartfelt total involvement, I am so sorry you are going through this.
You must be dealing with anger and fear too, on top of just getting through the day.

Love and big hugs.

Things may well improve a lot with time. I have mixed feelings about waiting much to see a specialist, but of course I am not a expert at all. I might be sending someone else the bill too, another whole subject..

Thank you, osso.

I am compiling a list of questions for the doctor next week, and one of them is: "At what point do you think I would need to see a specialist?" As I've said before, my doctor always recommends the top people to me, and he won't be offended when I ask. I can trust him to bring in the big guns when the time is right.

As far as the bills go...this is what insurance is for. It was an accident, not worth losing long-time friends over. Although you're right, I AM quite angry about it all.

Eva--

I'm not sure about ear drum damage, but I know both bone and tissue heal during sleep.

Life in a blooming, buzzing confusion is very stressful and requires extra rest, but during that rest you're healing.

Hold your dominion.

I've followed this since the inception but haven't commented--mostly because i wanted to see how others responded, and judge of the value of the advice and commentary.

I suffered a severe injury when i was three years old, which irreparably damaged the bones of the middle ear on the left side. I am very nearly deaf on the left side, and because those bones were damaged, i have hearing of a poor quality in only some registers, and none in others. As a result of the injury, which included the dislocation of my jaw, for the following ten or twelve years, i had frequently recurring ear infections. These left scars on the ear drums on both sides which have further reduced my hearing on both right and left sides. But you get used to it, and learn to adjust. Mostly, i think it resulted in my taking more visual clues from people and my environment, because i could often not understand what people were saying and not hear everything everyone else hears in the environment. I eventually learned, unconsciously, to read lips to a limited degree. I am much more likely to understand what one says to me if i can see the face of the speaker.

Having lived with this for fifty years, i would only advise you that there are many ways to cope, and the effect will be less overwhelming to you as time goes by.

Eva, again it sounds like you are doing all the right things -- making a list of questions to ask, etc.

Are you friends with the person who so recklessly left the gun loaded? It is that person who is most at fault, to my mind. If (shudder) someone had been shot, someone would be held responsible, right? Injury was done, and I'm not sure if the person responsible should get off scott-free.

But that's tangential, and of course entirely your decision. At any rate, anger is most understandable. (If you weren't angry, I'd be worried about you.)

Glad you have such a good doctor.

Setanta, yep, there are definitely lots of tricks you learn.