How to handle this sex situation

So get it on with Mary, and don't worry about Rhoda.



[size=7](though you seem a bit too nice to be that brusque about it. but that's yer problem) [/size]

KICKYCAN;

Sooner or latter not only you but Rhoda and Mary will become weary of the entire situation, so before that happens ,its better to be truthful with Rhoda for hell who knows maybe Mary might be like a bowl of cold jello...Ossobuco is right....the situation right now could be ...Trouble Postponed.
Joe Harris

JOE;

I know that one or all of us will eventually grow weary of the situation, but so what? When it ends, it ends. Why should I prematurely push it off the cliff, when it's gonna get there just fine on it's own?

And for the last time, I am being truthful!!!

Kicky, I'm finally here, buddy. Don't listen to the women, they'll always tell you sleeping around is wrong...they just hate the thought of it happening to them! (I'm half joking)

The first good thing you did was tell Rhonda you're not going to have a relationship with her. Now, no matter what happens, she can't blame you if things don't work out for her in her favor.

It's none of Mary's business if you're sleeping with another girl, as long as you told her you're seeing someone else, and you didn't tell her you're committed to her. So don't feel yucky about it. And....there is NOTHING wrong with sleeping with multiple women, as long as you're comfortable with it, and you're not flat out deceiving a girl, like if you told Rhonda you wanted to have her as a girlfriend just to get her in the sack.

My advice is, because I kind of went through the same thing a couple times, is don't put all your eggs in one basket...yet. Keep banging Rhonda until you know for sure Mary and you can commit to each other, you know she's really into you, and you know for SURE you really like her...not you "think" you do.

About a year and a half ago, I was dating a really fun, cute girl, who I liked, but wasn't head over heels for. I then met a girl I started to REALLY like. At the time I was thinking like you...I wasn't too comfortable with banging two girls, so I broke it off with the first one, hoping it would work out with the second. She ended up dumping me a few months later. I should have just kept sleeping with the first one. She told me as I was breaking it off with her she was fine not being my "girlfriend."

I finally did it right last year when I met my current girlfriend. I was seeing someone else when I started dating my current girlfriend, but didn't really break it off with the first one until I knew I wanted it to go somewhere with the GF. That way I didn't get too emotionally involved with anyone, until *I* decided it was worth the time and emotional investment for one girl.

Wow, you mins really are a self-centered lot aren't ya?

The one thing that just astounds me about all of this is diseases. Aren't any of you afraid of catching something with all the casual sex? Condoms are not 100% protection. I saw something on t.v. a while back about a woman whose boyfriend at the time had herpes (or was it hepatitis? something viral anyhow) and she felt they were safe because they always used a condom. But she contracted the disease from him.

That's just one reason why I'd never get into casual sex.

Slappy, thank god! Finally someone who hears what I'm saying here!

And Caprice, condoms are not 100% protection, it's true, but the chances of getting a disease using them are pretty damn miniscule. Worrying about that is like being one of those people who wear those masks like Michael Jackson because they're paranoid about germs. You gotta take some chances in life! Now get out there and enjoy yourself!

Ah, a break in the wimmins' corps, as I am not appalled at casual sex, even fer wimmins. Dumb a lot of the time, but I am not appalled.

I was going to say to slappy, who here said sleeping around was bad?

I don't promote it as a lifetime endeavor but I have done it myself from year x to year y and didn't turn into vile filth, in my own opinion. There are plenty of practical things against it, as I could elucidate, but I don't have scorn for it.

The thing is, people are sooo hurtable. Watch out not to do that for needing to always be getting it on.

Good grief, it is pretty important to learn to survive by yourself, and not have to use someone around to feel whole.
Not that this is what you are doing now, kicky, but you imply a certain horror of time without sex. Uh, with others.

Joe Harris, I enjoy your comments here.

For anyone who doesn't know Joe H., he is a very experienced human, age-wise. Otherwise, I dunno.

lyrics Led Zep - When the Levee Breaks

I love that song. I guess it sort of fits this situation. Especially that "goin' down now . . . goin' down now" part. He he he.

Yeah to what Osso said, casual sex, cool, whatever, but there have been all of these danger signals in what Kicky has said -- the jealous part, the crazy part, the looking for a husband and father to her kids part. It seems like it's too possible that HE thinks he's a sex buddy while SHE thinks something else.

You're right, Slappy, that as long as it's all on the up-and-up -- Kicky hasn't lied to her about committing to her, etc. -- it's not that bad. He doesn't have to feel too yucky. But he said, he DOES.

So, he feels yucky, she has these jealousy issues and crazy and weird history, just seems like it's a better idea to get this stuff hashed out rather than waiting for disaster.

Sozobe, I see what you are saying. BUT, obviously I was wrong about all that jealousy stuff, judging by her response to my telling her I wanted it to be an early night. I was judging her by the way she used to be when we were together. If she would have shown any sign of that jealous craziness when I told her that, believe me, I would have handled it completely differently. But she's fine with it, so why rock the boat?

As for the yuckiness, that is a small problem, but I don't feel that it's a big enough problem that I have to do anything drastic yet.

Kicky, did you tell her why you wanted it to be an early night?

No?

Why not?

(And if "yes", sorry for misunderstanding.)

Well, I just told her that I had to work early the next day and didn't want to make it a late night. If she would have asked me though, I would have told her about my plans with Mary.

I didn't tell her because I figured, why go into all that stuff about Mary if I don't have to? Why start trouble unnecessarily? Do you think I should have said, "hey, Rhoda, I am thinking that I might end up sleeping with Mary on Friday and I want that to be great, so I need to get home early on thursday."? I don't know that I will sleep with Mary, so why tell her about something that might not even happen?

Well, you said that she talked to you about guys... why aren't you talking to her about girls? (Not saying you should or shouldn't, just asking pointed questions.)

Oh and I forgot the other thing; if she didn't know why you want to make it an early night, her lack of jealousy doesn't really mean anything one way or another, does it?

I do talk to her about girls, when she asks. I don't come out and start blabbing about other women for no reason though. I think that would be kind of tacky. Don't you agree? If you were in this situation with a guy, and you knew he was seeing this other girl, wouldn't you ask if you were curious?

Soz and I are on the same page again, minny yrs apart. As was ehBeth, I think, trying to remember. Chickens are approaching your door.

Is that clucking I hear outside my window? I can't hear it, I've got some girl's tongue in my ear!

As to not asking if I was curious, maybe not, maybe I would be busy busy hoping hoping. We as a female groupette here seemed to have coalesced to say don't string someone along, but women are also not perfect...

As I said already, disease is just one reason. I also know myself well enough to know that being casual with something as intimate as sex is not something I'm well equipped to handle on an emotional level. And there are more reasons. I'm certain I am not the only person to feel this way about it.

So enjoy myself? Heck ya! But when it comes to sex...only within a love relationship.

Kickycan;

Your answer makes alot of sense....I must admit it ..I am just jealous of your situation.

Joe Harris