This is sad marysan that it has effected you so much that you became ill and are still searching the Internet for situations that women put themselves into, with married men. Yet, you have compassion. But making that last statement.
Your life is important so I'm pleased that you realised that. Life is un-fair but then sometimes, we play the "model" person and the other person takes advantage of it. Perhaps you married the wrong man but you don't have to be on your own, not every "person" is the same in this World.
We learn to love ourselves and trust our future judgement. Don't spend your life on your own and scrawl the Internet over your past situation, it's time to live isn't it?