Hi, 2 months ago I met a nice woman, 3 years younger than me, in a chat.
we are both married but started chatting about simple things and word after word we felt more and more interested into talking to each other...We exchanged few nice messages and found we had for each other sympathy and attraction. Then I had to leave for the holidays with my wife for nearly 3 weeks. The woman of the chat said she would wait for my return. I was sure this would not happen and instead when I was back we started chatting again and after one day I proposed to meet for a date. We felt so natural sitting on a bench in the woods next to each other as if we were friends since several years. A really nice afternoon. The next day she asked me to meet again, this time we went to a lake and could not resist but passionately kissed each other and then had sex, wild, passionate, beautiful... as after the first date she wrote me nice messages to tell me how nice it was with me and that she already missed me after few hours and that she looked forward to our next date. I replied to these messages in the same passionate and sincere way. I was also feeling that it was all just running like in a dream. She said textually " I am addicted to you, I like it so much to touch your skin".
we agreed to only communicate via email to avoid to be cought on our whatsapp/messenger/faceboo/sms etc
We met again the third time in the same week, this time she proposed to take an hotel room. We spent over 2 hours together, teasing each other, making love and then cuddling. She even started kissing my xxx and when I was about to come instead of pulling away she stayed over it and took it all in her mouth. In only felt that intimate with someone another time in my life...
again the same evening she sent me the sweetest messages. I just felt so happy to have met her... we spent the nicest 10 days in a long time. messaging frequently, meeting at every occasion....
after the second time we made love, since I couldn't send her flowers at home, I bought flowers, placed in my kitchen and sent her a photo of those
the day after she wrote me a message where she said that she wanted to continue our relationship but being more careful, because she didn't want to make suffer anyone (including our respective partners). She had weird feedback from her husband as if he could have suspected something but she herself recognized this must have been only her impression because it was clearly impossible he could have known anything about us.
the last words of her email were textually "...at the same time I have already a strong desire of you and I want to see you again. It is fantastic with you. Let´s wait a bit. Warm kisses."
after that message I haven t heard a single more message from her... in nearly 2 weeks.
I wrote to her a first time to ask her if it was all ok, to reassure her that it was a fine and also my wife had no idea of us.
then i wrote a second time after 2 days, to ask if she was ok.
then a third after another 3 days.
I don´t want to insist in writing to her, if she needs her time I can cope with is, if I know... 3 weeks ? one month? ok I miss her but I am ok because I know is "normal and agreed".
What makes me suffer is that she left me hanging. I don´t know what happened, how come she can change from needing to see me and having sex 3 times in the same week, to not even writing to me "it is all fine I just need a little more time for myself" for the last 2 weeks...
weird, right ?
does anyone have an idea of why a women would behave in this way ?
if it was about the sex not being nice why would she have asked for more two more times ?
if it was because she didn't want to hurt her husband, why couldn't she just write it to me. "i understand it was a mistake, my place is next to him"... and bla bla bla...
for anything... a short message would do....
I only know her first name and the street where she lives (not the house number) and know she works as an assistant doctor in town ( but not in which hospital)....
I am lost, how can I communicate with her again ? at least to know if it is over and why ?
Why don't you ask your wife if she would please text this woman to find out why she does not respond to you? I'm sure your wife would love to help you out. While this would help you out, it would also help her to understand what a lying cheating bastard you are and give her the chance to go out and meet someone for some "sex, wild, passionate, beautiful..." You would be ok with that, right?
"Yangki’s Answer: Yes, it is possible to truly care about one person and be happy in and with the relationship, but have love or have strong feelings of love for someone else.
Of course this is not how most people in mainstream North America are programmed/conditioned to think when it comes to love. And unless it happens to them, most people can’t even imagine it possible to be torn between two people you truly love and are in love with at the same time. People who have never stood in these particular “pair of shoes” will tell you that you are being selfish, that the feelings you have are just infatuation or a phase (mizd-life crisis), and will even accuse you of being immature or something worse. But until it happens to them, they really don’t know. They’re simply reacting to something they have no clue about or have a programmed/conditioned aversion to."
Thanks for another post full of hurt and self pity, pride and hypocrite like most of the " god feared" chaps out there.
I suggest you read a little around to understand the world is not the way you are ( or you wish it would be).
Thanks for the fair answer Punkey.
I know her name, not her family name though.
Yes this is what I think as well, may have happened.
But if I were in her shoes I would have at least wrote her a farewell line...
I know every one is different, nevertheless she said she didn't want to hurt ... still by not writing she did... it is more difficult to turn the page and forget...
Thanks again for your words. At least someone understands and shows some human sympathy for something that just happened like an earthquake was not planned, not searched, not thought of...
Thu 17 Aug, 2017 11:57 am
sounds like you have been on the other side... many times.
Maybe you should feel sorry for your wife rather than for me. She's the one who married a putz like you. (Not that it matters, but in order to keep you from feeling too sorry for me, my wife and I have been married for 35 fantastic years. We believe in honoring the vows we took and have never regretted doing so.)
not knowing what this feeling is,
What feeling are you talking about? Love? Lust? Passion? Honesty? Loyalty? Trust? Oh wait, I'm sorry. Those last couple should not have been included since you don't know the meaning of those words. Ask your wife about them. Right after you ask her to help by texting your lover. She'll probably have a lot to say about those last few.
Dear Rat, I don't want to waste my time with you. Still what puzzles me is how come are you wanking around on the web on forums about betrayal if you really believe that your wife is so faithful to you ? Anyone reading your hungry posts can understand what you have inside....
No you will never understand these feelings and probably you will also never know what your wife spared you to know. Just like the one who swallowed my cum, surely she didn't go back and told her husband... in 7 years they will also be married since 35... I wonder how many liters she will have had until then.
Fri 25 Aug, 2017 07:50 am
wrote to me again at the beginning of the week. 😃😍
She had to leave for Hamburg because her mother was seriously sick and quite understandably her focus was completely on different matters + she was most of the time in presence of her mother, her husband or her sister and didn't want to create additional worries to any of them.
We met again this week, she was so sweet and needing of care and attentions.
We only had sex one more time ( so far) but it was even more intense than last time.
It is so good that she is back.
Thanks all for your support.
Sun 17 Sep, 2017 09:50 am
You are on a slippery slope to hurt and pain.....please get out before you cause more damage. You are in what I call the chemical haze stage and already addicted so it will be hard to stop. If you value your marriage then you must end contact with this woman and start looking at your own relationship to see how to fix it.
My affair caused pain to a mother and her children, and to my husband. Seeing my husband breakdown in tears when he found out was gut wrenching. I've never felt so bad. It was years later it came out and all in all a few quickies in a hotel caused so much hurt that I just wish I could undo it all.
My husband has forgiven me, and our relationship is actually stronger but I wouldn't wish the hurt of an affair on anyone. I still think of the guy's wife and it is just horrible.
It took me about 9 months to 'come down' from my affair. It sucks you in so bad, it's more addictive than nicotine. But it is just a bad addiction, the sooner you give up the better.