1. if she is counselling him, she should not be speaking to you about it at all
2. if your husband wasn't happy with how things were before - and that's obvious, regardless of what they are doing - you have blown it by going into his phone records and approaching the pastor
bottom line. things were messed up and you have made them much much worse.
I was not informed of this by either party.
Why is this all so secretive.
because that's how counselling works. What happens in a counselling session is supposed to be 100% private unless the person receiving the counselling allows the counsellor to say something.
your husband's counselling is for him, not you. it is his business, not yours.
try to stand back from this.
your husband is going to have to decide whether he wants to have you work to rebuild trust in the relationship or whether he wants out now.
if it was him posting the other side of this (especially stuff like
husband litterally lies until i shove truth down his throat.
, my advice to him would be to get counselling and consider whether he wanted to be in a relationship. i'd probably also suggest he get a lawyer to prepare for a separation
long story short on that, the church found out knww upset about them talking and her licences could be revoked if i told them i think she was having an affair with him
stand far back
you have already made a big mess here