I'm 15 and I'm pregnant.. what do I do now??

Hey, I just got back from school. Me and my mom told my principal and he sent me home for a while cuz he wants time to talk it over with the other teachers and stuff. He wasn't very pleased, he was harder on me then my mom was. I told a few of my best friends, they didn't believe me at first and thought I was joking. Then I hauled up my shirt and let them look at my belly, and when they saw I was starting to show their mouths just sorta hung open. They were sorta mad that I didn't tell them, but they understood..Everyone with the exceptions of a few people at my school are behind me. A few kids thought It'd be funny to slip a "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY" card in my locker. On the inside was "you ******* slut, you'll do any guy that you meet. You couldn't wait to get your hands on Andrew, and go down on him. This baby's gonna be just like you, a ******* whore.".. not exactly what I wanted to hear..

Angel

Gawd. People can be unbelievably mean. But you know, that isn't everyone, and these kids are just nasty people. Don't pay them any mind; they don't deserve the time of day from you, let alone more than a passing thought. And, if it gets really bad, tell us, tell your principal, tell your Mom. You have enough on your plate without that kind of nonsense being added on.

And yeah, the being treated like a kid thing - I hear ya. I am over 40 yet I am still the youngest and on occasion am still treated that way. My father, when he writes to me, often uses my maiden name, even though I've been married for - gulp! - over 11 years and he (Dad) loves my husband like his own son. I think parents can just be a lil silly that way. I mean, if you can stay young in their eyes, that means they can't possibly be getting older. :-D

Raoul, fishin'?!??! What about Chewbacca? Or Mookie? :wink:

Angel, now is the time you'll really get to know who your real friends are, believe me.

I'm pretty sure that the kids who slipped that note to you don't know who you really are, but you got to know what kind of people they are pretty fast. And it won't be the last time you'll hear nasty and mean words, I'm sorry to say.

I'll bet ya- you'll never get to hear that from your mom or us!

You are probably the bravest person I've met in a long while, Angel, you go, girl!

Yeah, Chewbacca is good!

Thanks, I'm pretty sure it won't be the last time I hear from them. But I guess I've gotta face the music sometime so i'm going back again tomorrow. I'm worried about Andrew, he hasn't been himself since his parents kicked him out. He's really taking it hard. This morning he got a phone call from them and they said that if he left me, and had nothing more to do with me. And I put the baby up for adoption he could come back home. He hung up on them, He wants to be a part of his family again but he wants to be with me and baby too, it's like he's stuck in the middle.

Angel

Btw, my parents are letting Andrew move in, until he gets sorted out with his parents.

Angel

Omg.. A social worker just called my house because the guidance councilor at my school just told them that I was pregnant. Apparently my birth mom has been keeping tabs on me all these years but never told me, and now she wants to meet me again.. They said she's straightened herself out, went into rehab a few years ago and has been sober ever since. She has a job now.. and I have a 2 year old half brother that I didn't know about.. holy ****.. .

Angel

Umm.. Okies. Breath a little. No hyper-ventelating now.

Nice to hear your parents are at least understanding enough of the situation to extend a helping hand to Andrew.

So what do you think about this whole thing with your birth mom? Have you had a chance to discuss it with your adoptive parents?

I don't know what to think right now, this is a complete shock.. uh..I don't feel well anymore. I don't know what to do.. I can't forgive her for what she did to me all those years ago and I'm scared to meet her. My adoptive parents.. ( I consider them my parents more then my biological mother, they were always there for me) said it's my decision what I want to do.. they won't stop me. .. What do I do know..??

Angel

Angel Eyes666- Honey, calm down, and take a few deep breaths. First, are you legally adopted? If so, your birth mother has no legal rights to meddle in your life.

At this time, it is up to you whether you want to meet her or not. If it is too much for you to handle, leave it alone for the time being. You certainly don't need any more complications in your life.

Does she know about the pregnancy? If yes, how did she find out? It seems to me that if she showed so little interest in you all these years, you don't have to jump just because she wants to meet you now. Do what is good for you, your boyfriend and your baby right now! When things have calmed down, you might change your mind, but you don't need any more emotional trauma at this time.

You have absolutely no obligation to your mother whatsoever. You do whatever is comfortable for you when it is comfortable to you.

You also don't need any more dangerous people in your life, especially not right now. If your mother really is reformed she will understand and respect your decisions.



Watch out for those people who put the card in your locker - they might be dangerous. I'd let the principal know, especially if you think they are dangerous.
It was very good of Andrew to stand up to his parents and good of your parents to take in Andrew.
Try not to let school slide, a diploma and good GPA will help you in the future.

You stop and breath. She can wait. You don't have to do anything immediately. Take your time, talk to your folks about the pros/cons. Mebbe even talk to the school guidance counsler if you have a chance.

The important thing to keep in mind right now is that you don't have to make any decision right away.

It's legal but it's also an open adoption meaning she has the right to see me as long as my adoptive parents ok it. I don't know what to do about it.. She found out about it through a social worker.. that's why she wants to see me. She had me when she was 17.. ..

Angel

Angel Eyes666- I seem to remember something about children over 14 having a say in these matters, meaning that if you are over 14 YOU have the right to make your decision about whether you want to see her.

Any legal beagles out there to confirm this?

I thought it was 16?

Angel

Just tell your folks that you don't want to see her now.

Yeah.. I think that's what I'm gonna do.. I can't handel it right now.

Angel

Angel
Wow!!! Like you didn't already have a full plate. I am furious in thinking that your school principal thought they had any right at all to give you a hard time or to contact Social Services.

As far as your birth mother goes, see her if you want or don't if you don't want too. The choice is yours and I wouldn't sweat over it. If she means nothing to you, then there would be no point unless you want to be a part of you little brothers life. Either way, I think you should atleast wait until after your baby is born so you can prevent having any more stress than you already have.

Whoever put that card on your locker is extremely childish and it sounds as if they are jealous of you and Andrew, so don't let that stuff get to you.

Andrew's parents sound just as childish as the people who put the card on your locker and I'm very happy to hear that your parents are letting Andrew stay with you guys to help him out. Your parents are awesome. Andrew's parents should watch their back because they can be charged with abandoning their child since Andrew is a minor and could also be made to pay child support for your baby until Andrew is an adult. I can't for the life of me understand how any parent could treat their own child that way.
Give your parents lots of hugs Angel as they deserve it.

Thanks Montana, today has been really stressing me out, it's gotten to the point where I just sat down today and started crying. Andrew came up to my room to talk to me and when he saw me, he just sat there with me and got me to calm down. I don't know what i'd do without him.

Angel

Montana--

I agree with you about the gossiping guidance counselor, but I think the principal was sensible about asking for time to consider Angel's (and Andrew's) pregnancy in relationship to the rest of the student body.

The nasty, childish card in Angel's locker shows that she's not just-another-student anymore. Teen pregnancy is an issue that everyone has an opinion on--and "everyone" includes faculty, staff, other students and the parents of other students.

Angel--

Montana is absolutely right about Andrew's parents having financial responsibility for him until he's of legal age--or.....

I have vague memories of throw-away kids being declared emancipated juveniles by the court so that they qualify for a welfare stipend.

Meanwhile, Andrew's parents seem to be rather uninformed bullies. While they can set the rules for Andrew, they can not dictate your behavior, particuarly when they are insisting that Andrew not see you any more.

Your parents are being super about offering Andrew a temporary home. Noddy, woman of unwelcome advice, urges you to urge Andrew to be the best snow-shoveler, lawn-cutter and toter of trash from the house to the curb that ever occupied a spare bedroom.

Perhaps your parents could/should consult a lawyer who specializes in family issues. Not only is there the situation with Andrew, but your birth mother's potential involvement.

Meanwhile, no matter how unfriendly your false friends are at school, remember that you and Andrew both need high school diplomas. Your parents are wonderful people, but down the road you and Andrew must be not only self-supporting, but capable of supporting the baby as well.

Today was hectic. Tomorrow will be more so. Get a good night's sleep--after you do your homework.

OH my... I just read this whole thread and as the memories flood back to being 15 and pregnant, I swear to you I almost got physically sick. I remember going to school, telling my mom.. how I felt "different"... It took me forever to figure out how to tell my mom. Granted, I was pretty undisciplined and could come and go as I pleased... But finally, I was on my way to school one day. I left out the front door, then came back in real quick. She looked at me and I said "I forgot my notebook.. oh yeah, by the way, I'm pregnant, and I really have to go now before I'm late." Then I didn't come home for three days and by that time she had calmed down.

Angel, as far as what I can tell by what I've read.. you have a terrific mom, and everything is going to turn out okay... as far as the biological mother stuff... right now you need to focus on YOU and YOUR BABY... now is not the time to be immersing yourself in other people's drama.

Montana- is that your real name?

My five year old is Montana Rayne.. we call her Tana