I'm 15 and I'm pregnant.. what do I do now??

Actually I'm three months.. we let it go for a while before we found the right time to tell our parents.. only us and my older sister knew about it from the beginning.


Angel

The laws about when you can abort vary by state. Three months is pretty far along, but you may still have the option to abort. I would seriously consider it, because you are 15 and that is a hard age to have a baby.

If you go ahead, I hope Andrew has the guts to stick by you, it is equally his fault and his responsibility.

I also hope your parents stand by you, and help you with this.

I still recommend planned parenthood, no matter what you do (have you heard of them?) They provide good care at low/no cost depending on your situation, and have a lot of information on their website. They started out as a government program but are now independent.
Have you been to see a gynocologist yet?

(for the future, they are also a good source on birth control.)

.. I don't believe in abortion, but even if I did, and I wasn't three months. I'd have to drive for about 8 hours to a different town to get it done. I checked it out, they won't do it after 3 months. .. I know Andrew's gonna stick by me.. he just needs time to deal with things..

Yeah I've been to see the doctor, everything's going pretty good so far.

Angel

Angel--

Hindsight is 20/20. You have to deal with Life As Life Is Now. To reapply Yogi Bara, "The future ain't what it used to be."

Having your parents on your side--and the baby's side--means a lot and will mean even more. Unfortunately, Andrew has his parents to deal with and will not be able to focus his energy on the baby--or on you.

Possibly unnecessary advice (I'm talented that way): Let your parents know how much you appreciate their support. They want to love that grandchild, but they know you are young and can be badly hurt. They weren't reckoning on having a grandbaby at the family Labor Day Picnic.

I think "Miranda" is a beautiful name--not too common and not overly off-the-wall. As a name it stands out--but doesn't need spelling directions. There are also any number of nickname possibilities. Finally, you can call "Miranda" from a block away to come in for dinner. Its a name that sounds good even when you're hollering.

Yeah I've liked that name ever since I was little. It's a name that I don't hear around here very often. My name really is Angel, I'm not sure it would of been my first choice for my name but I guess it's pretty cool..

Angel
I adore your name and think it's very beautiful. I figured Andrew was having a tough time considering all that has happened, but I'm happy to hear that he is standing by you. I'm gonna tell you a secret about myself. I never wanted to have children, but because I also didn't believe in abortion, I had my son and I can't imagine having had it any other way. I may have been scared to death when I got pregnant, but once the news settled in, I became very excited about this little being of mine that was growing inside me. I know I wasn't as young as you are, but I assure you that I was just as scared. I wasn't married and even though my son is going on 17 and am still not married, I just want you to know that we all have our imperfections, but that doesn't make us any less than anyone else. My son is my shining star and as hard as it may have been at times, I couldn't have imagined my life without him in it.

Some labor lasts longer than others. One of the peculiar tricks of the female brain is that while you can remember that labor hurt, you can't remember the pain--just that there was pain.

Most dramatic scenes of Women in Labor were written by men. Men have no first-hand experience--but they do love drama.

You are going to be very, very pregnant for two of the hottest months of the year. Your labor will last for 72 hours--tops. Most likely you'll be in labor for less than twenty four hours. Believe me, living through July and most of August will be more uncomfortable (total) than having your baby.

More unasked for advice on the PR/common sense line: Ask your mother about childbirth pains. After all, she had you and your sister--she knows as much as any of your Aunts in Cyberspace.

So your options are:
1. to keep the child (a very very difficult choice at 15 - especially if Andrew doesn't stick around)
2. or to have your parents/relatives take partial responsibility for the child
3. or to give the child up for adoption.

I also think Miranda is a great name.
Now is the time to focus on your health - I'm sure you know not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. Be sure to get your vitamins (they have special vitamins for pregnant people) and eat healthy. Try to take it easy, it'll probably get stressful, and try to plan ahead as best you can for your child (try to think of what would be best for them.)
Good luck!

Oh yeah, I didn't even realize that you will have a summer baby. I had my son on July 23rd, so get ready for a long hot summer with an aching back. I hope you have air conditioning ;-)

Angel
Raising a child is not going to be easy, so you need to prepare yourself for that. As wonderful children are, they are the biggest job you will ever have in your life. When your baby is born, for the first 3 months or so (a year in my case), you will have to get up every few hours in the middle of the night to feed him/her. Then there's the all day diaper changing and so on. There is so much involved in caring for a child and you need to be ready to take on that responsability. This means you won't have the freedom you do now to go out with your friends and have fun. I'm not trying to discourage you in any way Angel, but I wish I knew then what I know now. Right now it's important that you try to keep your stress level down, so take it easy and don't forget to get yourself and Andrew signed up to those classes. You need to get in those classes ASAP.

(((Hug)))

Portal Star
Have you read all the responses in this thread? Everything you've asked and said has been covered already, LOL!

I skimmed over it and saw baby names. Sorry, thought you hadn't. I also wanted to mention abortion because it is kind of controversial, but I think it's a good option for an early unwanted pregnancy. But she is both far along and having the baby so that is clearly not an option at this point. I am sincerely hoping she realizes the implications her choices have on the life of another person - 15 is very young to be having to make decisions about another life. That's having to be responsible for a life before you've even had one.

I've had friends who got pregnant young and were not responsible for their children, who felt they were a burden because they were unexpected and unwanted. As a result, the children didn't get the care or support they needed (one person I knew routinely left her baby in the car.) If someone is not responsible enough to use birth control (properly - I do think it's good that she at least tried*), they should be seriously asking themselves whether they are responsible enough to keep, love, protect, and support a child.
It is a good sign that her parents are willing to help her, and that she is communicating with them.

I have also had a teacher who got pregnant young, toughed it out and went to college while raising kids (with the help of her husband) and also working a factory job. She had two more kids and now she is a Latin teacher. That woman is amazing, and she had to work unbelievably hard to do so. It's not impossible to be young and raise children well, but it is hard.

* I am also suprised, one missed pill makes the birth control less effective for 7 days, but in most circumstances it would still be effective (especially if two were taken the next day to compensate.)

.. I missed like 4/5 days. So by that time you can't take a second pill the next day to make up for the ones missed. I went and got some more pills from my doctor the next day but they take a while to work. Anyway a few days later I went over to Andrew's because his parents weren't home so we were gonna watch a movie and stuff. We just started making out during the movie.. nothing big, but then we got sorta carried away and yeah.. here I am now.

Angel

Well, like Noddy says, 20/20 hindsight.

Miranda is a lovely name - do you know it's mentioned by William Shakespeare? It's in the play, The Tempest. Miranda is also a moon of the planet Uranus. Here's a link to pictures of Miranda: http://www.solarviews.com/eng/miranda.htm

Portal Star
I understand what you're saying and I agree. It's when you mentioned abortion after she had said that she was 3 months pregnant, that had me scratching my head. I also feel that we can express to Angel how difficult her life is going to become, without discouraging her. She needs a truck load of support right now to help her through this rough time. Yes, she has made a huge mistake and she fully acknowledges this, so now she has to start making plans to prepare for her baby. Angel may only be 15, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders and I think with lots of guidance and hard work, she'll be able to be a great mom. One huge thing that Angel has in her favor is her great big heart. She obviously is very caring of the people in her life as it makes her feel terrible if they are hurt by her. That love she has in her heart will surely be a plus for her baby.

Angel, I just read through this thread and I am very impressed by you. I wish you, Andrew and the baby all the best.

Hugs

Ursula

Thanks everyone, I wish some people would quit judging me by my age. I may only be 15 but I've had to grow up a lot this past little while. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't be a good mother at the same time. If everyone treats me like a "kid who's having a kid" then that's not gonna get me anywhere..

Angel

Well Angel, since you're considering names already and like Miranda for a girl I'd seriously urge you to strongly consider "Raoul" should it be a boy.

Angel
Don't take to heart what some people say. A lot of people actually mean well and don't realize that they sound judgemental. You are also going to be judged by many people who see a 15 year old girl as a little child, when in reality, you are a young woman. Hang in there and don't let anyone bring you down.

Angel--

I appreciate that you feel you're getting more concern than respect right now. Willy-nilly you have adult responsibilities now and you want to be treated like an adult.

Remember, respect has to be earned, one day at a time. Your parents are used to you being their little girl. You've had three months to think about your new status--they haven't. You have to show them every day that you are becoming more responsible, more mature, more adult.

Now Andrew's parents are holding you totally and completely responsible for leading their son astray. They think you're an adult whore. I think they are wrong--and unjust. You're growing up, but you aren't there yet. You will be. As for being a whore--nonsense! You and Andrew cooperated on that baby--enthusiastically.

Now, in the Unasked For Advice Department: Are you ready for school tomorrow?

Thanks Montana, it hurts sometimes espically around here, my own family doesn't take me seriously sometimes.. but I guess to them I'll always be their "baby".

Angel