@mismi,
mismi wrote:
Quote:If I was in debt, I'd rather have the money a guy would spend on me for a dinner, and buy a whole weeks worth of food. Not romantic maybe, but the money would be out of his pocket either way, so what difference does it make?
Don't you think the guy's feelings would be hurt? I mean - if you are going to prostitute yourself - just put it out there honest like. Set up a shop like the lady in Hong Kong. I think a guy is prepared for it to be impersonal when he goes that route. I think his ego would be wounded if the gal he liked enough to spend money on going out for the evening said, "Look - you are okay - this is going nowhere though - so why don't you give me the money and I will hook up with you."
I know my feelings would be hurt if someone did that to me. But I think I am much too much of a romantic to ever go out with a guy I knew I didn't want to spend time with. If I wasn't interested in him enough to date him - I probably just wouldn't waste his or my time.
Nah...It is just not in me. I did the whole scenario in my head and I was horrified.
Again, I'm not talking about this as a career, and I'm definately not talking about it involving someone you feel there could be a relationship in the offing.
Maybe you've never had this happen to you, but people do have sex with each other, and don't really have that much in common otherwise. They just like what the other person is like in bed.
I'd have to think about it to remember if I've had that happen to me, I'm sure I have to one extent or another. I can say that there was one man I'd lived with, loved, he loved me, but in the end it didn't work out. We weren't good for each other, which is another story. However, we were extremely comfortable with each other, and after the initial getting over not being a couple anymore, would get together basically for sex. We were good together that way, we had nothing the other didn't already know about, sexually and otherwise. It was, quite simply, just easy. There was no "oh why am I doing this?" Neither one of us were cheated on someone else. We didn't have to make a big deal about it, we could spend time together before and/or after, or not. It was just an easy thing.
We didn't need the romance part of it. We liked and respected each other.
What I'm (again) saying is that if 2 people are in Agreement about this...maybe the guy is relieved he doesn't have to prep himself for an evening out. I don't myself particularly get off, and never have, on having to put on makeup, dress, figure out what to do, where to go...too much work.
If the 2 of us figured out early on that he wanted sex with someone he didn't have to try to, to put it bluntly, listen to all her girl talking and relationship building, and I said "yeah, I like you in bed, but I'm not into you either as a boyfriend, AND he had been willing to go through the rigamarole of spending money on an evening, and put up with all the girl stuff guys have to listen to all night on a date, and he's confident enough that he doesn't hurt his feelings , why not?
If 2 people are ok with it, then they're ok with it.
Me?
My love is more of the "we've been through hell and high water together, and I'll continue to stand by you" variety, and not the "oooooo....what pretty earrings that I'll never wear, but you're giving them to me, so I have to act happy" type.
Nah, I'm not much sentimental.
Sometimes I am, meaning once in a great while, but it really doesn't count for much for me.
My husband is quite sentimental, and I know that's a big part of who he is. I would never want to hurt his feelings over this, but quite honestly, I can't remember what one card, or lovey dovey something or other that he's given me is/was.
It doesn't really register in my brain, but I thank him because it's something that gives me pleasure.
The thing I'm talking about wouldn't work between me and him per say, because we both desired more than sex when we met.
But, if it were some other person, for either of us, who's to say it wouldn't work?
BTW, how do you know you'd like to spend further time with someone unless you date them?
I mean of course you might meet someone and think, what a jerk. But what if you met someone, hadn't been able to formulate an opinion, and a date was suggested. Would you go to determine if this was someone worthy?
I thought that's what dates were about.
