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Married, long distance, paying for sex?

 
 
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 06:04 pm
Hi - I'm a married man. I love my wife whole heartedly and care about her very much. We are in a long distance relationship. I would never cheat on her and have told her this. However its been a long time since I have had sex I must admit Ive been tempted to pay for sex as an interim solution to being alone. I said Id never cheat, but cheating to me isnt just sex its emotional involvement, there is no emotion in a deal with a prostitute to me, its like masturbating but with another person. imho. However Ive ultimately decided against this, although I could keep it secret, she'd never know, etc, I doubt my wife would share my feelings on the subject. Please - What are your thoughts on paying for sex whilst married, but alone?
 
View best answer, chosen by Rudpolph
Rudpolph
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 06:07 pm
@Rudpolph,
admin - sorry if this is in the wrong place, I hoped to put it in relationships forum\section but was unable to work out how to do it.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 07:25 pm
@Rudpolph,
Having sex with anyone other than your spouse is infidelity.
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 07:46 pm
@chai2,
Agreed!!
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 07:46 pm
@glitterbag,
Yes
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 11:22 pm
@roger,
Great Minds and all that!!!!
0 Replies
 
cherrie
  Selected Answer
 
  3  
Reply Fri 10 May, 2019 12:54 am
@Rudpolph,
Would you also think it was okay if your wife was having sex with someone else?
Rudpolph
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 May, 2019 05:28 am
@cherrie,
Ya know Cherrie, being as its a long distance relationship, I realise ultimately we are animals we certain...needs and I would like to think as long as she was honest with me and didn't get emotionally involved I could deal with it but I'm not sure I could. I'm not sure how Id feel though. I DID consider it, cos us men (and women) after extended periods of time with no sex, do get........needs that are very much hard wired into us. I feel guilty that at one time I considered it, but I'm glad that I choose to put doing the right thing by my wife before my own desires. I do love her ever so much and wish I wouldn't have even had those thoughts. Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it and thanks everyone else.
0 Replies
 
Rudpolph
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 May, 2019 05:29 am
@chai2,
I agree chai - * feels bad for it having past through my head * but glad I didnt act on it. TY
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 May, 2019 07:54 am
@cherrie,
cherrie wrote:

Would you also think it was okay if your wife was having sex with someone else?


This would be Ok with me, if she was bring paid enough.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 May, 2019 01:33 pm
Quote:
However Ive ultimately decided against this, although I could keep it secret, she'd never know, etc, I doubt my wife would share my feelings on the subject.


She might never know, but YOU would. I believe that you made the right decision.
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glitterbag
 
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Reply Sat 11 May, 2019 09:28 pm
@Rudpolph,
Here’s something to think about when you’re feeling neglected......if your wife back home starts feeling lonely, I bet she won’t have to pay for it. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Sun 12 May, 2019 07:42 am
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:

Here’s something to think about when you’re feeling neglected......if your wife back home starts feeling lonely, I bet she won’t have to pay for it. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.


This is one of the most sexist things I have read here.
0 Replies
 
Rudpolph
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 22 May, 2019 11:14 pm
@glitterbag,
LOL did my post upset you Ms Glitterbag.
glitterbag
 
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Reply Wed 22 May, 2019 11:25 pm
@Rudpolph,
No, I'm not upset at all, it's just amusing when people start making excuses for their behavior by proclaiming 'needs'. I'm sure your wife has needs (seems Max thinks that's sexist) but honestly, she won't need to spend a dime. Frankly, she won't have to spend any money intended for family expenses on adultery. Even if she isn't so inclined I can guarantee there have been plenty of candidates offering her a special kind of comfort.
Rudpolph
 
  1  
Reply Thu 23 May, 2019 02:11 am
@glitterbag,
Well ty for your replies - Im not sure what the relevance is of you telling me that my wife.....(any woman, Im guessing is what youre getting at), would not have to pay for sex, whereas I, a man would...the only relevance I can see would be to have a little dig at me. The truth of it is, it crossed my mind as an option, I regretted thinking it and choose to respect the wishes of my wife, as I perceived them, regardless of the fact that she would never know. A lot of guys wouldnt even give a **** if they thought they could get away with it theyd do it. Im glad I choose not to do it and I regret thinking it, but I dont think Im the worst guy in the world cos it crossed my mind. Have a good day. Smile
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Thu 23 May, 2019 02:25 am
@Rudpolph,
I'm not saying you're the worst guy in the world, not even close. Sometimes when people get a little lonely they don't always act wisely............people who want to cheat will find a way to cheat.....I don't think you really want to cheat, I think you are just a little lonely while you're working away from home. Before I retired and had to travel every so often, I loved getting home and back with my husband and family. Can your wife travel to your location every so often? That might actually be a shot in the arm for your relationship, break up the monotony when you can. I'm assuming you are working in an area that has nice restaurants and sites you could visit, if I'm wrong, maybe you could get to your home for a weekend and just plan some leisure activity.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Thu 23 May, 2019 07:40 am
@glitterbag,
Glitterbag is using one of the oldest sexist tropes that women are objects of sexual desire. She is assuming that your wife can find a lover simply because as a women she is sexually attractive (in a way that presumably a man isn't.) Of course this isn't true. It is easy to find women complaining that men don't find them attractive.

There is an old saying ... People don't pay a prostitute for sex, they pay them to go away afterwards. Prostitution is honest, you pay, you get what you want. There is no need to play games, or worrry about emotional consequences.

I don't recommend it. But I don't condemn it either.

I do think it is cheating... which was the question in the first place.
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buenavides1
 
  0  
Reply Thu 23 May, 2019 06:19 pm
@Rudpolph,
If you really love her you won't do it.
0 Replies
 
 

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