@FenderJackson,
Well you are clearly upset about this whole situation and id love to offer some advice that would solve your problem but unfortunately i am sure there is a lot more to your problem than what you wrote! its always complicated!
first off you are kind of beating yourself up too much about having multiple partners and thats not really the problem... if a monogamous relationship doesnt work for you then maybe you should have chose to be with a partner who would accept an open marriage, having more than one partner is ok as long as you are upfront and honest about it! but we don't choose who we fall in love with and even if we did at this point its all hindsight that isnt going to help you with anything.
So forget about what you did and focus on what you are going to do, dont get me wrong guys like you give us all a bad name and i dont think what you did and are continuing to do is ok im just saying dont think about the problem but search for a solution for the problem! random strangers on the internet can give you ideas or advice but in the end you need to make a decision or you may lose both of them.
as for advice you said you love them both equally. Ok so lets go with that and assume that is true.
there are other factors to consider rather than how much you love them... im sure you thought about how much you love your kids! also there is the factor of fairness, you say you love your wife as much as your girlfriend but you arent being fair to your wife just so that you could accommodate your girlfriend
you are also being unfair to your kids for her as well!! I'm assuming you were already married when you started this affair so your girlfriend knew what she is getting into and she made the bad decision of continuing with this affair so if you leave her although it may hurt her but u are being fair to your wife and kids without being unfair to your girlfriend, she made the bad decision of dating a married man so she should pay the consciences rather than your wife and kids.
really the only way out of this that i can think of is to first admit to your wife, it might break her heart but she deserves to hear it from you rather than finding out from somewhere else.
now after u admit to your wife you have two options which you need to decide between:
1- you tell your wife that you can't stop seeing the other woman and you want an open relationship, now i highly doubt she would accept that but i dont know your wife or all the details about your situation so thats all up to you two.
but what i am pretty sure about is you will almost certainly lose your kids respect and you are definitely making the wrong decision by hurting the mother of your children who already took you back once just so that you could stay with a person who ruined your home and is keeping you using threats and blackmail i mean you were saying your scum but she is far worse! IMO
2- the obvious solution which im sure you already know that its the only right thing to do is after you come clean with your wife you never speak or even think of this woman again! she cant threaten to tell your wife because you already told her and you can easily take legal actions against her to keep her from harassing you and i highly recommend you do go through with the legal action and get a restraining order because not only would that help solve your problem but if your wife sees your commitment it would be easier for her to get over this and forgive you. idk but she might be so forgiving she doesnt tell the kids... so at least you have a chance to keep that relationship undamaged
as for your girlfriend if you really do love her the second option is the option to take, it would hurt her yes but it would give her a chance to eventually start a healthy relationship with someone else and move on with her life
so really after thinking about it, option 2 is the only fair option for all of you and you will all benefit from it in the long run after some rough time
bite the bullet you really don't have a choice at this point
