@izzythepush,
He didn't win edgar, look at whom you are, all the passions you have in life, he lost.
The lonley existance of his last two years will not compensate, but it was 2 years he could not do any more damage either and he saw, how some saw him.
To state what you did to all these people whom know you, what strength you are a man to be admired.
I tried for 3 days to post this or post full stop but the site wouldn't let me...