A friend of ours hit our child - what should we do?

@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Women especially would be fucked if we truly expected brains and reason to be in control all of the time.

In other words, don't expect (hawkeye) to take responsibility for anything because he's not always in control. Flimsy excuse for a lack of self-control. If you cannot keep yourself from abusing a child, anyone's child, YOU NEED HELP. Rolling Eyes

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

Quote:

wandeljw wrote:
Most people would be concerned about losing their balance if standing on a fallen tree.
Concerned, yes. You're moving the goalposts, though, when you change his emotional state from "frightened" to "concerned."

Then dammit you don't stand on a fallen tree! How dumb is that you stand on a fallen tree even though you are concerned about your capability about being balanced? I'd hope a grown adult would then have enough sense not to stand on a fallen tree.

1 Reply

@wandeljw,

Quote:

You are missing that I am NOT talking about the man's response

You are trying to understand what happened, which is out of line with this crowd of moralistic hard liners which populates the majority of this thread who are fixated on their belief that kids should never be touched, to the exclusion of all other aspects of this event.

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@hawkeye10,

There are impulses, and then there are impulses.

If he can't control his impulse to be violent, then he doesn't belong around other people.

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@wandeljw,

Then I guess I don't understand why you're discussing his mental state. What's your point?

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@Arella Mae,

Quote:

If you cannot keep yourself from abusing a child,

I dont know enough about what happened to conclude that the kid was abused, though it is highly unlikely that he was. If he was thrown to the ground WWE style then he was abused, but I doubt that he was.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

Quote:

If he can't control his impulse to be violent

We know that he put his hands on the kid, we dont know that he was violent. By the OP own admission this guy was attempting to look out for the welfare of the kid while up on the tree (dont come up, too dangerous), what makes you think that seconds later he was a violent abuser?

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Well, I'm discussing the incident as it was described to me, by an eyewitness.

I see no point in discussing the incident that you imagine happened.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
If you cannot keep yourself from abusing a child,
I dont know enough about what happened to conclude that the kid was abused, though it is highly unlikely that he was. If he was thrown to the ground WWE style then he was abused, but I doubt that he was.

Considering it's you I am not surprised. You have made it pretty clear you don't know what abuse is though you think you do. Don't bother answering hawkeye, I'm not going there with you again. You just have to face it, your views are definitely not the MAJORITY and I seriously thank God for that.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

Quote:

Well, I'm discussing the incident as it was described to me, by an eyewitness.

I you want to be of any help in threads like this then you need to bring to bear an understanding of humanity, you need to see when the story that you are given rings false and need to have some sense of what has been left out. I find you consistently to be a juvenile opinion, find you to be gullibly biased towards stories that conform to your rigid and apparently uniformed understanding of life.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
Only if that person apologizes. Otherwise the message is they did what they intended.
You are demanding a spontaneous apology, which is unreasonable.

Actually, that is the most reasonable thing. The amount of time between when you strike out and when you realize you shouldn't have is usually seconds.

hawkeye10 wrote:

What was needed was a pow-wow where both the guy and the kid were given the opportunity to understand each other and apologize for their mistakes.

And maybe get Dr. Phil and Oprah to moderate. Laughing

This is the last thing I would expect from you given your feelings toward being politically correct.

You step on someone's toe (completely your fault) and before you can say anything he punches you in the face. "Let's all sit down and talk about our feelings!" The two events described here, a child not promptly listening to an adult until his parent directs him and a grown man pushing down a child are not similar enough to grant them equality. The guy should just admit he was WAY out of bounds.

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@Arella Mae,

Quote:

You just have to face it, your views are definitely not the MAJORITY

How do you know?

Quote:

Sixty-five percent of Americans approve of spanking children, a rate that has been steady since 1990. But just 26 percent say grade-school teachers should be allowed to spank kids at school; 72 percent say it shouldn't be permitted, including eight in 10 parents of grade-schoolers.

Indeed, even among adults who spank their own child, 67 percent say grade-school teachers should not be permitted to spank children at school.

At Home

Among parents with minor children at home, 50 percent report that they sometimes spank their child, while 45 percent do not. That's about the same as it was in a Gallup poll a decade ago.

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/dailynews/spanking_poll021108.html

But you are going to tell me that I am whack for supporting spanking arn't you.....you have your warped version of reality and you are not interested in upgrading it.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

Then I guess I don't understand why you're discussing his mental state. What's your point?

Hitting a child is always wrong. Examining contributing factors may help prevent situations like this from happening in the future.

1 Reply

@wandeljw,

Quote:

Hitting a child is always wrong.

This kid was not hit.

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@hawkeye10,

Parents spaking a child in the home and an unrelated adult male assaulting a minor child are not comparable events. As usual, you warp the significance of a source, which is in fact not related to the issue.

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@hawkeye10,

You've been implying that I'm lying all along (although I've already explained that it wouldn't make any sense to come here and lie) - so why you even bother to reply? Do you have so much free time that you can waste it on reading the useless posts of liars and hypocrites?

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I remember a Bill Cosby show many, many, years ago where he said, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!" He was a good father figure, too!

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@Linkat,

Exactly, which is why he said it was "stupidity" that motivated him to climb up onto the tree to begin with.

1 Reply

@odessitka,

odessitka wrote:

You've been implying that I'm lying all along (although I've already explained that it wouldn't make any sense to come here and lie) - so why you even bother to reply? Do you have so much free time that you can waste it on reading the useless posts of liars and hypocrites?

Just a word......but do as you will....responding to people like Hawkeye just keeps them going, and they often increase the nastiness and accusations as they get more excited that someone is paying them attention.

The option a number of people here use is simply not to respond, or if you like, you can stop seeing their posts by clicking on their names at the top of each post, then clicking ignore under their avatar.

1 Reply

@wandeljw,

This reminds me of an occasion when my niece and her father were visiting me in Humboldt County and I took them to our local city park, Sequoia Park - my favorite city park and I know lots of them from my studies, some from being in them. I see it online as primarily described as a zoo with a park, but next to the zoo and playground is a very nice nature walk, with older growth trees, though I'm not so sure about the timing on those, re the virginity of any of the remaining forest stand. My own house was sited on original redwood land, I found out some time after I bought it, built in c. 1920. Anyway, there was a longish fallen redwood log and my bro in law and my niece, then maybe twelve, both jumped up on it. In memory. I'm guessing 42" high or a little more. I wouldn't do that, not being so sure of foot or eye, but it was like playground time for them. I took a photo, but can't find it just now.

This thread situation perplexes me. I can see myself chickenshitting at approaching 4 ft. high and wide, but I am well known by associates to be weird in space. The one time in my life that I had a panic attack, it was on a (to me) cliff edge of what I'd say was a fat car wide dirt road with no barrier cliff side, on a curve, when I couldn't even imagine backing up my car, and was worried about even a small truck approaching.. I stopped. I breathed. I crawled the car forward. I would not have pushed another car off, or smacked the driver some time later.

On the other hand, I thought I read the neighbor pushed the boy off. But then Odessi said they (one of the parents) said get down and he got off.

So I'm off to reread the first post.

Reread that and see the son had obeyed, gotten down, and the guy hit/propelled/pushed him afterwards.

This guy was way out of line. Waaay out.

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A friend of ours hit our child - what should we do?

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