A friend of ours hit our child - what should we do?

@odessitka,

I agree sometimes a certain thing really touches you. This has happened to me even in TV shows and not real news. For example, I was watching a show and they found a young child in the dumpster dead; the child had his thumb in his mouth. That one scene affected me so strongly I was in tears and had a hard time sleeping - see my youngest is a thumb sucker and it just seems so upsetting.

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The reason that the victim has not called the police remains a mystery.

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@OmSigDAVID,

Ya know, I'm wondering if the lack of apology could be due to fears of prosecution. Would that constitute an admission of guilt?

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@DrewDad,

That's interesting. Could be.

Like, maybe in the moment he was just too mad/ hot state to get around to the apology. Then, separately, later he realized that he could actually get in trouble for this and wants to cover his butt.

Odessitka, have you had any communication with the wife/mom?

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@DrewDad,

I'm not even sure that is the issue.

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1 - The way I see it the mother should be the one giving a few slaps in the kid not the man...causing a dangerous situation and needing to be told 2 times to step out of the way is a very serious mistake...

...the one thing I agree on is that the man should n´t ever have pushed the child, although I can see why he did it...

...and frankly this mass world wide hysteria against a few innocent slaps are the main reason why kiddos these days act the way these one did...

2 - I don´t know the age of these Kid but I think if he is 16 already a case could be made against him just as well...

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@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

Ya know, I'm wondering if the lack of apology could be due to fears of prosecution.
Would that constitute an admission of guilt?

Maybe, depending on what he SAYS.

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@Fil Albuquerque,

OK I re-checked the original post...given is age, an 11 year old is probably not fully aware on the dangerous situation that he created...all the more reason for a few "Pavlovian slaps" to be applied...since reasoning is not is strong point...

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@Fil Albuquerque,

To where I stand the ultimate judge of what fits or not fits is Nature...I guess in the past 20 thousand years a few slaps while you are under age brought up humanity to where it is today...the arrogant miss fitted pretension in the past 20 years to change a natural spontaneous rule in education makes present Psychology the stocking laugh of anyone with brains...I could bring up a million reasonable reasons on why a, lets call it "Pavlovian slap" (arms and legs only), is of essence to educate specially when your brain is not developed enough to understand why or what it was wrong in your actions...

it is actually scary to me the sheer dumbness of not getting why it is so...

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@Fil Albuquerque,

I could go further and conclude that such theory´s are the result of men´s being presently pushed away from the educational process of their children as simultaneously most psychology formal degrees being entrusted to women in University´s all around the world...the expected result are brats that later on in life turn into criminals...

I agree that men´s are educational hazards in between 0 to 8 years old first and second childhood periods...equally I believe in the subsequent phase woman are equally disastrous on their expected educational role concerning the "teens" period ...they just don´t have a clue...

...traditionally around this age men would be the driving example and engine on how education should be conducted...that role is presently absent...the consequences for western society's are off the scale to be measured in the long run...I am certain it all will end up being a study case in History on the decline and extinction of Western Civilization...Education is no joke !

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@Fil Albuquerque,

Fil Albuquerque wrote:

OK I re-checked the original post...given is age,
an 11 year old is probably not fully aware on the dangerous situation that he created...all the more reason for a few "Pavlovian slaps"
to be applied...since reasoning is not is strong point...

If that is the applicable criterion,
then we 'll be surrounded by much slapping n counterslapping.
(This guy wants to live in a 3 Stooges Movie.)

David

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@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

This is posturing.

Most of us learn to put away tv news stuff (certainly me, as I don't watch because I don't have a tv now), but we still connect to real people, and odess is gathering that some of us are real..

You, in the meantime, are being somehow instructive in a fairly shockjocking way re internet brutality.

I didnt understand this post. Mainly these 3 parts:

"This is posturing": What is the meaning of "posturing" here?

shockjocking: I dont know the meaning of this expression and havent been able to find it.

"re internet brutality": I dont understand whats the connection that "re" makes between the rest of the phrase and "internet brutality"

odessitka wrote:

There are different kinds of murder. When members of street gangs are shooting each other, I won't even bother to read. When an 8-year-old boy goes home from a day camp in one of the safest neighborhoods, takes a wrong turn, asks a stranger for directions, and ends up dissected in that stranger's freezer, yes I lose sleep. I'm either having nightmares about my own kids all night long, or lying there thinking about human brutality.

That kind of thing happens all the time though, and gets noticiated all the time. Hence my strangement.

OmSigDAVID wrote:

The victim woud be avenged
and the "massive . . . grief" woud be limited to the perpetrator.

What would be the point of avenging it? It would not undo whatever harm it caused and would give birth to new ones. To seek revenge is to hate, and nothing good ever comes out of hatred.

And no, the massive grief would not be limited to the perpetrator. I like how Dlowan put it:

dlowan wrote:

If you release a legal genie from the bottle, though, you lose control of what the genie does.

It could backfire in all sorts of nasty ways.

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@ehBeth,

He knows I'm not " a liberal ." He seems to have thought that might bother me.

It doesn't - but thinking he'd let someone push his kid down and yell at him does.

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@manored,

I read a news article circa 1992 about a little boy who wet the bed - his father reacted by bashing his face in the toilet bowl until it killed him. I cried as i read it - and had nightmares about it intermittently for about a decade. Linkat, you aren't alone.

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@ehBeth,

Quote:

I always thought you thought you were a liberal

I was until about ten years ago, but I could not stomach it any longer. Now I consider myself to to be a libertarian radical leftist, who wants to get the individual released from state control so that we can institute collectivist action. To me doing something because the boss demands it and will punish us if we dont do it is completely different than doing something because we think it is the right thing to do. It is all about who decides, about who is in charge of us. I believe in Liberty, that we are in charge of ourselves, so therefor I can not go along with the BIG government police state utopia that the liberals are trying to put together. The liberals turned against the individual and individual rights when they decided to try to use the law to re-form human nature into their desires, and from that point on Liberalism became a cancer that must be excised.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

The liberals turned against the individual and individual rights when they decided to try to use the law to re-form human nature into their desires, and from that point on Liberalism became a cancer that must be excised.

This is being extremely charitable, because what I really believe is that Liberals decided to institute a program of oppression against all those who insist upon acting according to their nature, against those who act along the lines of human nature. There exists the right to not like human nature and to work to argue for a change and to change ourselves, but there was never a right to oppress others except when others exercising their rights grossly interferes with our rights and only if those same others over a period of time refuse to respect our rights....there never was a right to institute oppression on the basis of not liking what others do. The Liberals, and Government, have overstepped their authority, and they must be forced back into their box, by violence if necessary, as it most certainly will be necessary.

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@odessitka,

Quote:

A friend of ours hit our child - what should we do?

Have u asked the victim
what he WANTS u to do ??

David

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@Lash,

Lash wrote:

I read a news article circa 1992 about a little boy who wet the bed - his father reacted by bashing his face in the toilet bowl until it killed him. I cried as i read it - and had nightmares about it intermittently for about a decade. Linkat, you aren't alone.

Well, that isnt normal nor healthy.

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@Lash,

Lash wrote:

I read a news article circa 1992 about a little boy who wet the bed - his father reacted by bashing his face in the toilet bowl until it killed him. I cried as i read it - and had nightmares about it intermittently for about a decade. Linkat, you aren't alone.

What became of the perp ?

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@Linkat,

Quote:

Anyone - sometimes what seems like minor stuff on a friend is minor until something doesn't go their way. In my case, my one time not being available really showed her true colors - not that it wasn't there before just much smaller. Perhaps in this case, the one time your son really pissed him off, showed his true violent streak. The other stuff were more minor things that just got him a little upset thus the yelling.

I see your point and I agree. It's just when you've been friends with someone for a million years, you can't imagine something will ever happen between you. In fact, you don't think about it at all. Until it happens.

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A friend of ours hit our child - what should we do?

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