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Oprah talks to child molesters.....

 
 
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2010 09:33 pm
Did you watch Oprah today?

I saw a blurb about today's show in the paper so I TiVoed it. It was a very good show. You can watch it at: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Oprahs-Conversation-with-Child-Molesters . The site has an extra hour of interviews that I haven't watched yet but I intend to. Even Mr. B sat down and watched it and he hates talk/chat shows.

The thing that really struck me about the interviews was how similar it was to some things I've read on A2K before..... about how "if the person enjoyed it and they weren't (physically) hurt by it" that it wasn't abuse.

I've always thought that was a strange argument.... and now I understand why I always got such a big "ick" when I read it here.

Anyway. I thought it was worthwile viewing and you might too.

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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 5,880 • Replies: 49

 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2010 09:58 pm
I had seen the promo and intended to watch. Then got busy and forgot.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  5  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 12:49 am
@boomerang,
Just watching the second part.

I usually get the heeby jeebies from Oprah...but I think this is great.

A chance for people to see that child molesters look normal, and learn about the signs and, crucially, too look at the distorted thoughts that these people use...(not that they are that different from lots of societal myths about sex, anyway.)

It's fascinating to see how hard it is for these guys not to minimise and excuse themselves, use evasive language and often avoid responsibility.

The guy with the long hair convinces me most.

But good on them for doing this.

I greatly admire their courage.
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 01:09 am
@dlowan,
Quote:
I greatly admire their courage


kinda depends upon what the motivation was. Was it
1) to convince people that they are right?

2) attempt to win brownie points with what ever judge they deal with?

3) confess their sins in front of as many people as possible?

A big difference between the possibilities
dlowan
 
  5  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 01:25 am
@hawkeye10,
People have all sorts of weird subterranean motives for doing many things...I still think this took real guts, and the information is useful for kids and parents and people who have been abused.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 05:17 am
@boomerang,
The ICK factor prove too great for me and I did not watch it for more then a few minutes.
0 Replies
 
Seed
 
  2  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 05:26 am
@boomerang,
I did not watch more then 10 minutes of the show. The part I did watch though I thought was very important. Where they stated that "stranger danger", although still a great thing to teach your kids, is no longer what should worry a parent, as most incidents are perpetrated by someone the victims knows and is often comfortable with.
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 06:45 am
@Seed,
Quote:
is no longer what should worry a parent, as most incidents are perpetrated by someone the victims knows and is often comfortable with.


True and it would seem that family members are the one most likely to offend, however as children also have a great need to feel safe and security in their own families it is one hell of a balancing act for parents.

They need to balance the fairly low odds that there is someone who would harm their child in their own inner trusted family with the harm of warming them not to trust their own families members completely might do.

One thing I would not trust any male and to a lesser degree female child to be alone around a Catholic Priest! At least unless I knew the Priest was carrying on an affair with a growth woman.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 07:26 am
@Seed,
What made you stop?
Seed
 
  2  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 07:35 am
@dlowan,
I remembered I had Lost recorded and needed to watch it before tonight
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 08:03 am
@dlowan,
dlowan wrote:
the distorted thoughts that these people use...

Yep. The constant refrain was that they weren't responsible... the victims could have stopped them just by saying "no". In the next breath they talk about how they groomed the kids.

The one guy said something about "she's making a good, er..., better person of herself." He doesn't view her as good, even when he talked about "killing the person she was".

Very creepy. Very compartmentalized thinking.

Makes me glad we talk about these things with our girls, so that they know how wrong it is if someone tries to make them do something they don't want to do.
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 08:06 am
I agree.
The long haired guy is the only one that I really believe has stopped his behavior and has really come to grips with what he did and is no longer in that space to do so anymore.

I believe, with all fiber of my being, that first man is still an offender.

Im watching it now..


VERY interesting.
Thank you for posting this boom..
dlowan
 
  3  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 09:00 am
@shewolfnm,
The good thing with guy No. 1, though (WHY is he wearing that creepy wig) is that you could see him reflecting and learning as he went along.

I think he is of low intelligence, and that he is a true result of child abuse and neglect, and hence does not have the same cognitive capacities as the others, hence I think it has been very hard for him to learn to think differently.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 09:01 am
@DrewDad,
I think you have missed a key.....these kids can be groomed into not necessarily seeing this stuff as something they don't want to do.
boomerang
 
  4  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 09:32 am
@dlowan,
Quote:
these kids can be groomed into not necessarily seeing this stuff as something they don't want to do.


Yeah! That's it exactly. That's what was so surprising to me.

I thought kids that were being molested would always be afraid and confused -- that they didn't tell because they were threatened. The fact that they all said it was a "seduction", that they didn't want to hurt or scare the kid.

Pay attention to your kid so that they don't become vulnerable to flattering attention from other grown ups was great advice. So simple.

I don't really care what their motivation was, and I don't see how it makes any difference in the way we should think about what they said -- it was good information.

0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 09:47 am
@dlowan,
dlowan wrote:

I think you have missed a key.....these kids can be groomed into not necessarily seeing this stuff as something they don't want to do.

No, I understand that completely. That's why I'm saying there's a disconnect. In one breath, they say they groomed the kids so that they wouldn't say "no." In the next breath they say, "but I would have stopped if only they said 'no'!"

It appears to me that they still have trouble really understanding that they did something wrong. They've just learned the right words to say.
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 09:49 am
@DrewDad,
Also, it appeared to me that in several places the long-haired guy was bragging.
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 10:24 am
@DrewDad,
I didn't get a "bragging" thing from that guy, DrewDad, but I haven't watched the unedited internet interview yet. From what they showed on TV he seemed to recognize what a terrible thing he had done.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 10:25 am
Funny, I think the long haired guy is not sincere at all. The way he looks at
the camera and the way he agrees to all the questions makes me think he's
playing along, pretending to be the "good guy" now and understanding his
crime. I would trust him and the last one (with the dark wig) the least.

0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Feb, 2010 10:29 am
@boomerang,
I took the whole, "the first time I orally copulated her and brought her to orgasm" line to be a complete in-your-face moment.
0 Replies
 
 

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