ASK SANTA CLAUS WHAT YOU WANT, all boys and gerls welcome

I wonts me a shotgun fer skwirrels, a coon dog, a new post fer my confedrit flag, and a big fity fi gallon drum I kin make me a barbeequer with.

I wants Sarah Palin's money.

I would like a pair of warm boots. The rubber kind with the fur on the top. I am sick of wrapping these old socks around my feet for the duration of the winter.

The only gift that I wish is new boots for Gus!

I want a Red Ryder Bee Bee Gun

Santa reaches into his biiiig capacious bag overstuffed with presents ofr good little boiys an gerls.
He pulls out


"Here kid, Its a big juga WD-40" I think its just what you need

Ho ho ho, Yeeeas indeed. Now heres a nice set a steak knives, NOO, dont thank ole Santa.

OHHH HO HO HO HO, WELLLLL , you sure gotta lotta stuff in yer beard there sonny. Heres a big bag a soap and a brush fer yer remaining teeth.

You're not Santa. I think you're Dys' father's ghost.

Well, lets see what ole Santy Clause have for you little fella.
He reaches into his capacious (yatta yatta) pulling out a small box

"Lets see whats in the box here fella. WHy its a set a keys to a Lamborghini Mercialagho. Now thats a real nioce gift for a real nice little fella. Now,
The only thing That troubles me is that Sanat doesnt recall what he did with the damn car!" Hmmm, Well you just take the keys and see if they fit any car (I left it near Shigago{HOLY ****< YOU DONT LIVE IN JAPAN DO YOU?)


WHOOOAAA SANTAY CLAUSE REALLY FUCKED UP HERE.
SO, heres the way we can get this done!

ALL ya gotta do is put the cash together to get a trip to SHIGAGO JAPAN and the cars there"


MEERRY CHRISTMAS HO Ho Ho Ho.

NO problem Missey, Just watch that you dont shoot yourself in the...

I knew Santa would give me something special if I pretended I was only concerned for others.

(you are a sucker, Santa)

YA know boys and girls, ewvery year Santy used to get depressed. REALLY depressed. He used to spend a lotta time givin all the elves and Mrs C a lot of lippy crap and Santy used to get really hammered on holiday meade and hard hot chocolate liquer.
Well , that was a while back, sometime in the 70's. Santy got himself into aprogram and now hes all better. In fact , Santy may run for president in 2012 , and, based on precedent, Santy feels he could pull it off pretty easy. WHOO doesnt not love Santy CLaus Eh/

Santy just wants to bring joy and happiness to all the little boys and girls and is hes gotta do it on line well, hes up for it. And, thats no ****.

OK anymore burning Christmas wishes, (Santy's got some salve for that too)

You got the car yet skippy?

I don't think you've got anything in that bag for my dog.

HOO HEE< Santa and his little helpers were doing a doobie a bit ago and now we are all stoned . Santa can barely move. If you could find some chocolate chip cookies for Santa he would be very helpful.

PS what kind of doggie are we talking about?

A lab-pitbull mix.

OH OK. Lemme see here.

Now heres a real something Im sure he will like, Its a set of SHAMWOWS and some exra strength Oxyclean in a drum.

HO HO HO HO< MEEERRRRRY CHRISTMAS

I want whorled peas, and love amongst all the peoples of the world.




















And a few million bucks.