WELL little girl ,have you been good this year? He HE He He He, Tell Santy all the details , he gets off. ...uh Santy likes to hear stories form baaaad little girls.
HO HO HO HO , heres a nice Prizerware Sauree pan that Im sure you can find some use for.
HAve we been caught at the border too often there little boy? Heres a nice stair climber to help when you are doing your Pilates when they finally catch you .
I would love to travel this Christmas holiday. To somewhere really interesting, like Java, or India, or to Antarctica .... whatever you can manage at this late stage.
I haven't traveled for a few years now & I really miss it
Well you want to travel eh, well heres a nice mah jong gam,e to while away your time on board th trains and ships that Im sure youll have to book for your travels.
OH HO HO HO HO HO.
No. Santy only has red cards, trimmed in white.
Beat it kid, if you dont want anything fer Christmas Santy can oblige ya little punk.
You're a mean Santy . . . just like that old drunk down at Macy's . . . you even look like that old drunk down at Macy's . . . hey, wait a minute . . .
Ooh, what a nice, big, soft lap you have, Santa baby!
OH yeh, your getting Santy all qwarm and feeling really fine. Djever see an old fat man naked?
I'd really like a live-in maid. Or a full-time cook. Well, both really.
Well, since youve been a fine little girl SANTY will havve one of his helpers come on down and do some cooking for you . Santy already knows where we live so we can just sit and watch when we come down yer chimney on Christmas eve.
Do you have any grass for old SAnty? He always likes to roll a fat one every now an again.
you appear to be well and truly in the bag so who'll be having you?
SAnty is reaaaly hungry. DO you have anything fudgy and crisp for him? Your Christmas could be in jeopardy if not.
I got a whole bag of double fudge chocolate chip soft cookies, always thinking of the dentures, I am...
SAnty really likes to eat anything with crunchy caramel and lots of double dutch, doobie doobeie dooooo, be doobie wah wahh , choobie dooobie doooo de dooobie doooh daahh.
Whoa, where did that come from? Santy is having trouble with his train of thought here.
What was Santy Saying?
OH yeh, Santy thinks you are a very good little girl too and we will reach into our bag and see what we have for you.
Wow, heres a little watch on a carribiner that Im sure you will like and find really useful for whenever you need to know the time while youre dangling off a rock face.
Please give me cash. I have been a good girl (mostly, kinda).
Youve been a reaaally good girl I see, SO heres a nice set of split oak Longabereger baskets for you. Santy's still a little wasted so hes not really paying attention here.
The logs on Santys wall all have eyes and theyre looking at him and Santy's getting scared . What th hell are all those monsters? wheoaaooo. Holy **** who left all the reindeer in?
You're a mean Santy . . . just like that old drunk down at Macy's . . . you even look like that old drunk down at Macy's . . . hey, wait a minute .
YEh and youre some snotty nosed little punk who smells like tapioca pudding. Santy remembers all you little pricks. HE remembers when you fed the Ex LAx to santys reindeerwhen we stopped on yer roof. Little basterd
Geeeeaaaat! I'm scared of heights and I kill watches, hows about I offer you some premium b.c. bud, will I finally get my wish????
Santa is only human and can be convinced really easily when hes all warm and stoned.
Santra doesnt like anything hard . He cant handle some of that **** any more. Santys had one too many bad trips and flashbacks of **** he never even was involved in. Hes really sure that hes often twisted his life wires with some chick from Des Moines
I guess ...
I guess you've gotta cut down on gift costs & overheads?
These being tough economic times & all ...
I would never
dream of accusing you of being a cheap skate!
I guess ...
You are questioning the wisdom of Santy CLaus little gerl? Maybe Santy Claus will think about some lesser gift for you. Now make SAnty CLaus really smile
Now make SAnty CLaus really smile
You are questioning the wisdom of Santy CLaus little gerl? Maybe Santy Claus will think about some lesser gift for you.
No, no, I thought my gift was lovely, Santa!
Really, truly & honestly!
& um ... is a lesser gift actually possible
Santa? Uh, I don't normally do this and all, being Jewish, but you see, I'm not askin' for myself, but my friend, Marge? She's, uh, she's been in detention all week and told me that since she's been naughty and all, that you might not be, uh, receptive to her requests? So, tell me, what can I do to, er, get her -- or me, into your good, erm, graces?
My friend Vinny Z said to tell you he can get you that same deal on iPods
this year. He's a got a box that fell off a truck in Revere.