Fortunately financial were compete 18 months ago - legally - monday i sign to my freedom.... FREEDOM... FREEEDOM.... breaks into song... lalallla
Funny 'ole thing, how in a heartbeat things can change. I kept my end of the bargain, I signed the divorce papers like I was asked - I got my confidence up and became big and brave, have started feeling incredibly good
the financial settlement was completed June 2008 when we sold the house and I moved here... it's been a working agreement since then
he bought a big barn in the country with his girlfriend and built some stables, 2 cats, a dog, couple horses.....blah blah blah
the actual settlement papers have to be signed by the court as there are children involved, one who has difficulties
my ex was sent the papers on Jan 19th. He rang me at 10pm tonight to say
he is being "financially raped"
among some very other nice things like...
"R-boy will never come back to you and you will never have to look after him so the financial payments for him stop at 18 (the agreement was at 25, for various reason)"
I nearly, nearly lost my temper, but you know that little voice you have inside of you that grits your teeth and seeth out the words (how effing dare you).... well, that was me.
he said "his situation has changed, big mortgage, horses and stables etc and he can't afford to pay me what he agreed, because he has too big a mortgage and "its not fair", he can't afford holidays and won't take S-boy for any of the 14 weeks that Sboy is out of school, because, I work at a school so therefore it's my responsibility to look after Sean.
My exes 5 weeks holidays are for his things... his time with girlfriend, golf and weekend away. etc.
Something wrong with this scenario. Hmmmmmmmmm
legally, he may not have a leg to stand on because this agreement has been in practice for nearly 20 months - however, I've lost the will to fight him and another any longer.
I wonder if that makes me weak. Or strong. Noddy called in Zen one day - she could be right.
I don't need his money (£100 month) and he's right, I don't have my eldest son - and I may never have him in my life...
so... I guess what he's saying is true
it just fucks me beyond belief that he would do this now.
He wo't get the divorce until he signs something... so I've emailed my lawyer and we'll see what's what.
I already know I'll give in some things - I don't want his stupid pension anyway....
Really - should I be surprised. Well, yep, I really am.
He can reduce me to zero, just like out, from out of nowhere - he can beat down me again. I can't argue it, coz he's probably right about R-boy never seeing me or accepting anything from me again. R-boy does not know I have been supporting him over the years - but that's OK. Child benefit stopped and now all payments for R will stop.
I'm just so angry right now... it's 22.51 and I have work in the morning.
His words are just resounding in my head.
He came back from flying off to Scotland for a friends wedding on Sunday...
we had a meeting a S-boys school yesterday
and he phones me at 10pm tonite to tell me he won't sign...
then said "I'll sign the damn document........... how do you look at yourself in the morning knowing I will struggle with the mortgage payments (on his nice new barn conversion, paddocks and stables)"
Sorry Mame - just didn't quite know where else to put this so I could talk out loud - can it be the "tosser stabbed you in the back thread"
Guilt trips, I've a few folk trying to toss me some guilt trips right now. Getting a tad sick of it. I get up... I get slammed down... kinda sounds like a song that I don't feel like singing.
Thing is, I don't care about the money not really, I'm fairly self sufficient here - it's the galling principle of what a complete and utter douche bag he has been tonight.