Just read the entire thread Mame.
I can identify. Twenty years, not married, your 2 very different financial circumstances ... identical.
I also hate bickering about money. It is so demeaning
! <shudder> But neither you nor I will ever be rich, ya know!
I think you are going to have to train yourself to not care about what he says about you, because unless you oblige him, his comments are likely to become even nastier. It might not be a bad idea to have a lawyer look after your interests (if you can afford it). So that any future potential "adjustments" don't need to be negotiated with you personally.
I remember, just after MR Ex & I split up, a very cynical friend advised me to arrange the settlement of finances quickly, because once he became involved with someone else things would turn nasty! But of course I didn't. But she was right. That did happen. Not only that, but the new Ms X took to making very unpleasant nuisance calls to me, night & day!
She was quite mad.
Anyway, dearie, a good idea to detach yourself, that's what I think.