30
   

Oh, I'm a little upset! VENTING RANT warning

 
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:31 pm
Thank you, everyone, for your input. I never expected this from him, to be honest as he is usually quite honourable. I knew it would be tight for him which is why I got the deal signed, sealed and delivered.

And his comment about me being unlikeable was a little over the top; he actually said "No wonder why everyone dislikes you" which is, frankly, untrue and ridiculous. Of course there are always going to be people who dislike you but "everyone"?? I don't think so!

We are going to be attending a conference in two weeks Smile That should be interesting!

The last time he was rude, he did apologize the next day. Wonder how long it'll take this time, if at all.

He's really not a bad guy. He's just not as good with his financial decisions as he could be. Must be causing him a lot of stress.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:31 pm
@Mame,
Even though he is a brother rock nocker, you have my permission to hold the douche bag's pepinos until the debt is payed.

His taking you off his retirement and insurance is an example of how hes operating in bad faith, so anything he says is total crap.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:33 pm
@farmerman,
Yes, FM, which is why the agreement was legal and any new one will be notarized, too. I hope he just backs off my suggestion and pays me the full amount.

I'm learning, too, through all this. I was too easy on him.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:34 pm
@JPB,
Thank you, JPB!
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:34 pm
@mac11,
Me, too! Smile
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:38 pm
@Heeven,
Heeven wrote:

Tell him to **** off!

HA HA HA
Heeven wrote:

If it had been me I would have told him I wanted all the money up front, even if he had to get a second mortgage to pay me off.

He couldn't have afforded it; he'd have had to sell and he is very attached to the house and the prestigious address.
Heeven wrote:

The nerve of him trying to re-negotiate with you! Doesn't he realize you two are separated for a reason? You are no longer his wifey and don't have to hold him up when he needs a hand?

Exactly!
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:38 pm
@Setanta,
Setanta wrote:

Well, i've never liked you, but on the other hand, i've never known you to be greedy.

You're such a sweetie Smile
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:40 pm
Kiss kiss . . .
husker
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:45 pm
@Setanta,
I'm not even going to ask who likes and hates me
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:49 pm
@shewolfnm,
shewolfnm wrote:

its not that you are un likeable..


it is that he cant manipulate you. Thats whats got HIS goat


****, you are sooo right. That's what I get for being easy-going in the first place. Maybe that's a lesson learned, She.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:52 pm
@dyslexia,
BIMBO??????

Why you, you...

I have a legal agreement so I'm good. He'll have to just suck it up. He could never afford to buy me out in full - according to him, he can't even afford his annual payments Smile
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:52 pm
@Ticomaya,
Ticomaya wrote:

If you are "renegotiating", you certainly need to enter into a written stipulation that revises your Property Settlement Agreement to fix the "oversight" where it was not stipulated that you were to receive a survivor benefit on his pension and to remain a beneficiary of his life insurance policy. That Stipulation should become the order of the court and be filed in your case.

But you are ABSOLUTELY right, Mame ... the bank is not reducing the amount he owes, why should you?

0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:53 pm
@Ticomaya,
Ticomaya wrote:

If you are "renegotiating", you certainly need to enter into a written stipulation that revises your Property Settlement Agreement to fix the "oversight" where it was not stipulated that you were to receive a survivor benefit on his pension and to remain a beneficiary of his life insurance policy. That Stipulation should become the order of the court and be filed in your case.

But you are ABSOLUTELY right, Mame ... the bank is not reducing the amount he owes, why should you?



Unfortunately, I threw that chance away - he'll never agree to it now. I wonder if I'll see any of the remainder of the money.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 05:54 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:

Agreeing with all points by all posters heretofore, especially the likeable part.

Hang in there.


Aw, thanks, Osso.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 06:01 pm
This reminds me of my favorite line from "Death of a Salesman"


He was liked, he just wasn't well liked.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 06:04 pm
@Mame,
I was too easy on all this too (another story, another year), and rue my behavior (to the tune of where have all the flowers gone - "when will we ever learn").
Once an opportunist, always an..

My ex and I are still friends, similar to you two in that the history is long, and in our case time has passed and we're glad to see each other.

On the other hand, a few days ago was our thirtieth anniversary, whence he sent a thoughtful email, and I wrote one of those letters you never push send on, which I'm glad I didn't. On his persona, people find him arrogant and stiff. I know better or at least see past that. I don't want to be back with him, or he with me, but our marriage pulsed a lot of years of our lives.

I hope in a general way that your ex can see your point of view, Mame, sooner than later, but I won't bet on it.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 06:23 pm
@chai2,
Great play!
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 06:25 pm
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
I don't like it, but I say "OK", but I want interest on the deferred annual amount each year, plus proof that I am in his will to be paid out after his mortgage is paid. He's really ticked that I want interest. He says that his house isn't worth what it was, so everything's up for renegotiation!

Tell him he's free to stick to the original agreement... or he can accept the conditions that you're placing on the new agreement.

Like you say, you're not responsible for his financial decisions.



(He sounds like someone who doesn't like having to face the music when his bad decisions land him in hot water.)
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 06:27 pm
@ossobuco,
He's just weird with money. He came from a privileged background and inherited quite a bit from mama, which he invested. Then he gets CPP and has a university pension (quite a healthy amount). Not to mention his sizeable RRSPs. Plus, he makes quite a good living and lives in a great city. His vehicles are paid for - what's his problem??

So he'll borrow $80K to pay for renos then quibble about the $8.95 telephone bundle or $6.20 newspaper delivery. What's that saying? Penny-wise and pound foolish?
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2010 06:30 pm
@CalamityJane,
CalamityJane wrote:
Mame, as long as you have your promissory note secured by the house, you have nothing to fear. Let him whine!

Sounds to me like the bank has first dibs on the house. On the other hand, even if he defaults on his mortgage, he still has to pay Mame.

He needs to understand that the original agreement has nothing to do with how the house is valued now.
 

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