First time cheater, why did it happen after I'd finally got married???!!

@BillRM,

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Why did you bring up Christian mores name one major religion or mores system in this world that would support her cheating.

It's a complex matter Bill. I would say the current US mores actually supports her cheating by not punishing her to anywhere near the extent that she would have been punished in earlier years. In Tom Jones, for example, she would have been tied to a cart and whipped through the village and then put in the workhouse. Now there's a fair degree of sympathy and even financial reward. In some Islamic countries she could be hanged after being whipped. And her lover. Or beheaded in public. In some places father is a non-entity. His only role being at conception.

There will be a different mores within the US depending on location. There's nothing black and white about this subject.

There is evidence that biology supports her actions.

Some of the contributors here have been trapped into admitting a confusion in their views relating to science/evolution and religion. Which suggests to me that the support for science/evolution against religion is based on a desire or need to not condemn abortion, homosexuality, artificial birth control, divorce and adultery due to an involvement in one or more of those. A subjective argument confused with an argument from principle and masquerading as such.

And there's another problem to do with faulty logic. You can start with the Agony Aunt/women's magazine/ gift shop definition of love which is basically a business deal and then move on to a more idealised and poetic idea of the word (what the ancients called a madness) and in praising that without understanding it you have ended up praising a business deal in moral terms.

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@engineer,

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Assuming her husband feels that her cheating is indicative of a failure of their marriage and leaves (a reasonable possibility world wide), under what mores would this benefit the children?

Any mores where children with single mothers are not unusual. I imagine such mores are fairly common in some areas.

And benefit is not the same as not harmed.

Mrs Thatcher brought in a law which required local authorities to properly house and financially support any woman with a child. A lot of young women went straight out and got themselves pregnant. She then brought in another law that local authorities had to sell these houses at half price to tenants who had been in them long enough to qualify. 15 years say. Which took these women to the point where their children were leaving home and the females getting pregnant and onto the same scheme. The mothers now took up work, bought the house and then promptly sold it at the full market price. During the whole time these ladies could pick and choose their lovers and did so. Pub fights were common. As they were all housed in roughly the same areas their kids all went to the same schools and thus no disapproval attached to them for having no father. And any anti-social behaviour they exhibited, which they did, was then excused because they had no father and a circle of silliness set in which we are still dealing with in urban areas.

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Basically, men have had it. Both the blokes in this case are being used.

Media has sold out to women. Lock, stock and barrel. The legal profession is on a feeding frenzy. The financial disasters have no other cause.

Goose a woman behind the filing cabinets and she gets more compensation than soldiers with limbs blown off get. That's how bad being goosed is these days. And the lady will be all tarted up to inspire goosings.

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@BillRM,

Quote:

One interesting question I had been asking myself is if morally right to wish that, she is wrong and her poor betray husband will indeed find out about her cheating in the end.

Once more, I hate the idea that she might get away with this betray and on the other hand, there are children in harm way that would be harm if it did come out.

Oh well my wishes are not going to effect the odds one way or another and as I already posted the odds in my opinion is not with her long term and I am not going to feel guilty that I am happy over the great likelihood that this is going to end very badly for her.

Why do you give a **** what happens to her? Believe it or not, her choices are not your moral territory.

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@aidan,

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Hope it's okay to talk about this other case now - I figured since Conflicted has signed off, it would be alright to deal with other similar issues maybe.

You've cited an extreme case with the doctor. And, i'd say you're relishing in it it, too.

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@Gala,

bill is an odd little man

here he's worried that this woman's cheating will harm her kids

yet on another thread he's railing against a proposal to ban school bus drivers from texting while driving (he keeps pointing out that no bus driver has been caught doing it, so why should it be banned), something that could conceivably harm many children

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@djjd62,

He will come soon to say that you are a nasty guy...

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@spendius,

Quote:

Media has sold out to women. Lock, stock and barrel. The legal profession is on a feeding frenzy. The financial disasters have no other cause.

Goose a woman behind the filing cabinets and she gets more compensation than soldiers with limbs blown off get. That's how bad being goosed is these days. And the lady will be all tarted up to inspire goosings.

The financial disasters have no other cause because they sold out to women? You are so ornate, it's bizarre.

As for sexual harrassment, it's high time men reigned in their impulses and their endless urge for power on those women who cower at their site. End of story. As for the women who doll themselves up, men need to keep their paws off of them too. If a woman dresses inappropriately sexy to the office it's the bosses obligation to tell her to tone it down.

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@djjd62,

Ha. I saw that thread and the direction it was heading in and tapped into my voice that said: "Your energy supply is limited."

As for high moral Bill, I imagine he so wants to boink a number of women other than his wife and hasn't-- as a result it's making him more and more bitter.

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@Francis,

i can be, if i deem it necessary

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@djjd62,

Well, either you are or not, it's not the main point.

Because you'll disagree with Bill, you'll be called nasty...

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@Francis,

to quote the bard

"Cos' I ride like Kelly Bundy, yo I keep that ****, nasty. Nasty"

Spankrock - Bump

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@Gala,

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And, i'd say you're relishing in it it, too.

In what way would I relish in any of what happened to any of those people? I feel sorry for the wife who for whatever reason feels that she needs the doctor in her life to the point that she will stand by him as he humiliates her. I feel sorry for their two children, who get to watch their mother be humiliated, and their father go to prison. I feel sorry for the girl who thought the doctor loved her and got pregnant (she didn't know apparently that he was married with two children), and I feel sorry for the little boy who was born who will either never know his father or know that his father didn't want him to the point that he tried to make his mother miscarry him.

Yes, it is an extreme case - and I thought really sad and interesting- but the reason I posted it is because it's a perfect illustration of what a web of confusion and harm can be woven out of what starts off as a casual little deception that's just meant to be fun. I mean this doctor was a serial adulterer- much practiced in his philandering- and even he ended up getting in over his head.

No - I'm not laughing at or relishing any of it.

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I have just spent the whole afternoon watching a Glynebourne production of Monteverdi's splendid opera L'incoronazione Di Poppea on Sky Arts.

It raised all the issues involved here albeit in a highly attenuated and dramatic way but--hey Gala--I don't think ordinary people are immune from such emotion in these situations.

Of course there was an aftermath which the opera doesn't consider.

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@djjd62,

Quote:

yet on another thread he's railing against a proposal to ban school bus drivers from texting while driving (he keeps pointing out that no bus driver has been caught doing it, so why should it be banned), something that could conceivably harm many children

He has a good reason to rail against such a ridiculous proposal. It stems from some busybodies who think that bus drivers will do such things. There are a lot of other things it might be proposed that bus drivers might do as well as texting which would put the safety of the kids and themselves at risk and which are not known to happen. It's as if the busybodies wish to take the credit for the job the drivers do whilst sat in committee wondering what to think up next to exercise power and get their names in the paper.

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@spendius,

Bill--do you have the names of the proposers?

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@spendius,

No name or maybe just headlines grabbing politicians will do however, this is not the thread to talk about it but I am grateful for your support.

In fact I had given up on the old school bus thread as it get old dealing with people who can not used logic and or claimed to be an expert and then keep posting information that can be proven wrong time after time. Silly people who somehow can see a benefit on passing a law/rule where there is no indication of a need concerning one of the safest means known of transporting children or anyone else for that matter.

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@BillRM,

There must be millions of safe bus journeys to and fro with kids on and with grown ups on the record and up jumps another cock-a-doodle-do to propose things the drivers shouldn't do as if the drivers don't know. Is there a law that says they shouldn't change their underpants whilst driving a bus.

Paranoia in the interest of making a spash knows no limits. They should be slapped down at every opportunity. They don't have enough to do.

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@spendius,

They don't have enough to do.
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Damn it I was not going to go on however that school board is short millions of dollars and lying off teachers, cutting pay etc and yet they pay lawyers hundred of thousands of dollars to get rid of a child book from their school libraries that did not show Cuba in a bad light and this book was for second and third graders!

Now the school bus nonsense.

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@spendius,

why don't you and bill get a room

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First time cheater, why did it happen after I'd finally got married???!!

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