Do even hot women like when you are respectful and a gentlemen to them?

Mature women expect their men to be respectful and gentlemanly. These traits are essential for a good relationship.

Immature women often haven't learned this. They suffer through bad relationships until they figure it out.

There is nothing "weak" about being considerate. On the contrary, it takes a strong, secure man to think of other people besides himself. Weak, insecure men are typically self-centered.

Do even hot men like when you treat them with politeness and consideration, or does hotness make men into something other than human beings?

Women need to know that their men are strong enough and independent enough to weather their emotional storms. The ultra sensative/caring man need not apply, as he is clearly not up to the job. The best women have a lot of spunk, life, emotion, they need the strong men. The women who have been beaten down by life, are drained of most of their energy, are fine with the weaker men, as weak men will not call upon their women to improve.

To sum up: a woman who is fine with you the man being a herbivore man (as they are called in Japan), is a woman not worth having.

We're fine with it.

This presupposes there is such a thing as a "good relationship" (meaning that any relationship that doesn't match some ideal is not a good relationship).

I have no problem with the term "respectful" although it is quite vague. Different people can have wildly different ideas of what respectful behavior means.

The word "gentlemanly" is sexist. It implies stereotypical gender-based behavior from "good" guys. Calling me "gentlemanly" is a slap in the face. Men should be free to be men -- if being a man makes me weak, self-centered or inconsiderate, so be it.

I find this entire discussion smacks of sexism. (Then again isn't the term "mature woman" an insult in itself?)

Not really. Politeness and consideration are pretty unimportant compared to other things...

Oh, good grief.

Um. What Osso said.

And 'gentlemanly' is certainly not sexist. Just look at the word - 'gentle man.' It means restraining one's power out of consideration for others, not just those of the opposite sex.

Cycloptichorn

The problem with the word gentleman as it is used here is that it implies deferential. Men and women are equals, which mens that men must be able to stand up to their women, and vis-versa. Also,being a Lady and a gentleman was always a form of public grace, it was never supposed to be how one conducted themselves in private in their relationship. A man who is a gentleman in private with his woman is pussy whipped, and that ain't a good thing for either the man or the woman.

This deserves a Good Grief and an eye-roll... speaking as woman, of course...

Thank you for your reply, Cyclo. It means a man does not slap a woman upside the head or beat her face in, or worse, because of the world wide entity called "disrespect". It means he considers that she is another human with something to say about issues.

The people who are disrespected are usually women, though not always. Brutes and bullies seem to reign. Smart thieves suck up the countryside. Some of us are not amused.











the pe

Oh god.

You're actually married?

Since someone seems to actually wonder about this, I'll state for the record that my husband is both a strong, powerful man (both physically and in terms of how people relate to him/ status) and is also a gentleman in private. And if he hadn't been, I never would've married him.

For the record... I think I am arguing the exact opposite of what hawkeye is arguing (with the rest of you in the middle somewhere).

People are individuals. Relationships are unique.

I teach my daughter to be an individual, not a lady. This means I value and encourage the traits that make her unique. I don't care one bit about whether any of you think these traits are womanly or not. My daughter has unique value on her own terms.

Thanks to the work of strong women, like Alice Paul and Sojourner truth, who were willing to challenge social stereotypes, it is much easier now for women to be themselves.

I do the same things with my sons. They should be individuals who are able to build lives and have relationships on their own terms. It is my opinion that right now this is harder for boys than for girls.

There are a couple of issues here.

Obviously violence in a relationship crosses a line. But outside of extreme examples; there are a wide variety of relationships where both people in the couple are fulfilled. I disagree with Hawkeye characterization if he means to apply it to all relationships. But a if a strong independent man is matched with an emotionally stormy woman, and they are both happy in this arrangement-- what is the problem?

If you are saying that it is good thing that people in a relationship are considerate to each other? Yeah, I agree with this as long as what "considerate" means is defined only by the people involved in the relationship. Politeness is another matter (to me politeness implies a shallowness and insincerity I don't want in my relationships).

Ihe words "lady" and "gentleman" are gender-based stereotypes which imply that there are different social standards applied to me based on my genitalia.

I need to regurgitate all this for a while, as I probably agree on some of it.

I railed against "lady" myself here on a2k -- I know it as a downer from experience.

On the other hand, over the years, I see ebrown as man-happy -- eh, that's an immediate take.

We each have someone out there made for us. What I object to is the last couple of generations trying to weaken strong men, get them to act more like women, Some men are naturally strong masculine and also we can't have strong feminine women without having the strong men around.

The post is about what "hot" women want, and almost all hot women have lived their lives getting what ever they want from men. They overpower men with their sexuality, and they get used to this. They need to find men who can and sometimes do stand up to them, they are better when their men challenge them and make demands upon them. If they don't find men who can handle them they will become maldeveloped brutes, bitches, and we already have far too many of these types running around.

This idea that "gentleman" is sexist is true, but we should have words that embrace our sexual natures. I not only don't see a problem with sexist words and sexism, we need them. Language must reflect reality, your objection to the work "gentleman" is in the spirit of the worst of the soul deadening and conversation deadening history of the politically correct movement.

Can we work with baboon?

I have no idea what "man-happy" means. But, I don't see any problem with being happy to be a man.

I added in a muttered "what a load of crap" to your recipe, Mame.