Do even hot women like when you are respectful and a gentlemen to them?

It had never occurred to me that anyone anywhere could consider the term "gentleman" sexist. It is precisely gentlemanly behavior that we try to instill in our male offspring. Being a "gentleman" does not entail treating a "lady" as inferior, or weaker (except in the most obvious physical sense) or somehow to be looked down on.

Except for Cyclo or DrewDad, whose comments actually make sense, the other men on this thread are making me acutely embarrased that I am of their gender.

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@ebrown p,

Quote:

I suppose that consensual BDSM could be part of a "good" relationship... but this would be quite a different thing than the very real problem of spousal abuse.

the problem for you is that the definition of abuse has been very fluid. Abuse means whatever the people around you decide that it means, and we the society can't make up our minds. We do however continually add to the list of activities that are determined to be abuse, which should tell you that something else is going on......say avoidance of the parts of reality that we would rather not face.

Individuals in American society have for the most part lost the right to decide for themselves what is abuse and what is not. We made a wrong turn when we decided that people who the society decided are victims of abuse who don't think they are abused because they have been incapacitated by the abuse. Thire not knowing that they are abused is proof that they have been incapacitated....how nifty is that! Sounds logical at first (like the first five seconds), but all it is is a rationalization for violating the individuals right of self determination. It is mob rule.

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@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

I need to regurgitate all this for a while, as I probably agree on some of it.

Ruminatin' would more, ah, ladylike.

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@ebrown p,

Quote:

Abusive marriages are a real problem-- where one partner (usually the wife) is trapped in a marriage that clearly doesn't benefit her

who the hell are you to decide for other people what they need, what is good for them. Try to live your own life for gods sake, and leave other people alone. Living our own life is enough work for one lifetime don't you think????

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@Merry Andrew,

Quote:

Except for Cyclo or DrewDad, whose comments actually make sense, the other men on this thread are making me acutely embartased that I am of their gender.

Likewise. Gentlemen behaviour (being courteous and polite) has a place in a man's life, but show me a man who is always a gentleman with his woman and I will show you a lousy ****. That is just for starters on why men should not always be gentlemen. Too bad you don't know this stuff, you'd be a better man if you did.

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@hawkeye10,

I prefer the defective, uninformed male who is a human being first and a "man," second.

All the hot Barbies of the world are welcome to your idea of the "better man." I'm sure I'd find a better person amongst their discarded men.

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@Butrflynet,

Quote:

prefer the defective, uninformed male who is a human being first and a "man," second.

All the hot Barbies of the world are welcome to your idea of the "better man." I'm sure I'd find a better person amongst their discarded men

Like I said, there is someone for everyone. I prefer a high power masculine/feminine dance, and for this to take place you women need to let men be men. However, for those women who prefer more sedate relationships, have at the neutered males, they will serve your purposes I am sure.

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@Merry Andrew,

Merry, I think you are completely missing my point. It is the gender stereotype implicit in the term "gentleman"-- where men are judged by a different standard because they are men-- that I am objecting to.

Can you understand why some people consider the term "ladylike" sexist?

Isn't trying to instill "ladylike" behavior in our female offspring... where being a "lady" means girls are limited in their behavior (in ways that boys aren't limited) part of the problem. I feel the same way about each of these terms.

The terms "lady" and "gentleman" are part of society's mechanism to force gender-based views of "appropriate" behavior on us. I don't accept this for myself and I don't force this on my kids.

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@Eva,

Eva wrote:

Mature women expect their men to be respectful and gentlemanly. These traits are essential for a good relationship.

Immature women often haven't learned this. They suffer through bad relationships until they figure it out.

There is nothing "weak" about being considerate. On the contrary, it takes a strong, secure man to think of other people besides himself. Weak, insecure men are typically self-centered.

What she said.

(What the hell is a "hot" woman--someone who gives you a boner? That's a pretty elastic description of a woman, you know, this "hot" bullshit.)

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@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

After all, kids should be who they are, and kids in their natural state are barbarians....

This is a standing affront to unoffending barbarians everywhere.

Children in their natural state are savage, remorseless animals . . . even other animals are scared of children . . .

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you said boner

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@chai2,

Yeah, it's almost like "bonheur"..

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Me? Surely i never said anything so crass as boner.

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@Francis,

Francis wrote:

Yeah, it's almost like "bonheur"..

Bone her?

Look, this is getting out of hand. Which is, I suspect, what nat hale has in mind.

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@ebrown p,

ebrown p wrote:

In my mind there is an important difference between morality and manners-- the former being far more important. Not assaulting or robbing other kids is clearly a matter of morality.

I note that you completely skipped the question about whispering in a library and saying please and thank you.

Not to mention that moral behavior differs from society to society.

The bottom line is, there are certain social rules that one must follow in order to get along smoothly.

1 Reply

Do even hot women like when you are respectful and a gentlemen to them?

I'll check with mumpad.

Now just in case thats too subtle for ya what i just intimated is that I am a respectfull gentleman.

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@dadpad,

As well as that Mumpad is hot . . . be sure you get that message across . . . it never hurts to store up some points . . .

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@Setanta,

that was the really subtle bit set.

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A man should always do his best to be polite, and considerate, and listen. Things seem to go much more easily that way.

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I am a non-violent person, but I would sacrifice myself to whack hackeye with a frying pan every night.

1 Reply

Do even hot women like when you are respectful and a gentlemen to them?

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